“Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” or “Angry Batman Hates A Sad Superman But Just Bring Out Wonder Woman” -my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice“. Okay let me just say first that I love the DC characters over the Marvel ones. I love these bitches. So it was excited to see all 3 of them jumping around on-screen punching shit for the first time together. Don’t get me wrong the Marvel movie are structurally sound and made well, I really just don’t know that world because I don’t read comic books. I watch the cartoons. Yes bitch the cartoons.

Okay so this time everyone on Earth, including Batman, is pissed off at Superman for knocking over all those buildings in part 1 (Man of Steel ). Everybody is like is he a god or isn’t he. Superman and Lois are a couple now and he is saving her mumbling ass from terrorists and such and while also spilling water all over the floor from their bathtub. Meanwhile Batman is on a mission to kill Superman and find some other stuff out that I’m not sure about. Then Lex Luther shows up and he owns Google or something and is crazy and repeats shit. He doesn’t like Superman either. So he invites Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman to a party to have drinks and snacks. They stand around looking pretty and hack a computer in the kitchen. Later Lex decides to make a monster called Doomsday to do something and also he manipulates Superman into fighting Batman. We find out that their mothers have the same names (Martha Haha) and all is forgiven, but shit here comes Doomsday and now Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman pop off and we finally get to see them fight the bad guy in a big battle sequence. They keep cutting to Lois and running the action. In the end the shit hits the fan and if the director had done his job we would have felt emotion for the characters when sad shit happened to them see “Man of Steel” problems. Now we are ready for the Justice League movie! No end credit surprises either.

Okay so yes, I did have fun watching this movie, I love Wonder Woman coming out and beating shit down. Gal Gadot  was great as both Wonder Woman and Diana Prince. She was the best part. Ben was cool as Batman I mean there have been so many Batman movies how could you fuck that up. You know exactly what to do now. The Batman character gets on my nerves though, because get over it. Your parents are dead move on. Grow up Hot Topics. I feel like Henry Cavill is a good and emotional actor, but he is not given anything to do or say of importance. It’s like the director (Zack Synder) doesn’t understand the character at all. It’s okay that this bitch is a nerd and goodie-goodie. Just write him that way with shit to say. Save a cat in a tree or something fuck. Jesse Eisenberg is way too much. His nervous twitches are laughable and you are like ummmm what is talking about now? Amy Adams as Lois Lane is literally useless and a mumbling dummy. She is just filler that should have been deleted. Give that time to a stronger female character liker Wonder Woman or Mercy. Hell anybody. Give to Zod’s dead body. 

The Plot made more sense to me than I thought it was going to. Meaning why Superman and Batman are fighting to begin with. I honestly thought they were just going to start fighting for no reason at all. Haha. The problem with the film is that it feels like multiple movies crushed into one. So it’s too much going on. It’s like you took 3 movies and picked your favorite scenes from those films and crammed all that shit into one movie. So sometimes the scenes don’t connect to one another well at all. It feels messy and confusing. You will be asking yourself. Wait why is he doing that? or Why is she going there? Is this a flashback or flash forward? etc. It’s sloppy writing. There were some future Justice League character surprises in the movie also, and that was pretty cool. They really want you on board for more films. So they throw them at you. That was something to get excited about.

I mean I love these DC characters so I really did have fun watching them running around in this bat shit crazy movie. This movie is a lot and it’s messy for sure. Shit doesn’t make sense at times but I did like the action scenes and Wonder Woman. I really am excited for her own movie though that is directed by someone else. Will you love “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice“? No. You will probably have fun and roll your eyes and say “Do what now?” I still liked it in the end and was happy when Wonder Woman’s ass came sliding out. If you do check it out then don’t be surprised because you have seen Zack Snyder’s other films. If you are surprised then you are the fool. Did you forget “Man of Steel” and “Sucker Punch” bitch??????

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Zack Snyder well I don’t know what to say. I’m entertained by some of his films. I loved “Dawn of the Dead” and “Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole“. They had some emotion. The rest of his work feels like action scenes pieced together for a greatest hits Youtube video. I feel like he doesn’t like Superman, but loves Batman. He doesn’t get what a goodie-goodie guy does, but he gets what an angry Generation-X Batman does. He is not bad a director, but one who just puts his movies together like montages of his favorites scenes. If that makes sense at all. (Dawn of the Dead300WatchmenLegend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’HooleSucker PunchMan of SteelBatman v Superman: Dawn of JusticeThe Justice League Part One and Two. 

B. I wished we knew Superman more in these movies. It feels like the Director doesn’t like the character and doesn’t know what to do with him or what to get him to say. I feel like we have no emotion for him and it’s not Henry Cavill‘s fault and he is standing there crying. I wished I cared for Superman but we don’t give a shit at all.

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C. Ben Affleck was good as Batman and you can tell Zack really likes the character of Batman. I mean re-watch “Watchmen”. Pissed off superheroes that shop at Hot Topics.

Literally his face the whole movie.

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D. I loved Wonder Woman in this and can’t wait to see her in her own movie. Gal Gadot did a good job for the brief time she was in this movie, but I am excited to see more of her now. She also looked good as Diana Prince too. 

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E. The score (Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL) was not as good as Man of Steel which was an amazing score. This one felt generic and Lex’s them was hokey as fuck! Literally the best track was the one for Wonder Woman. “Is she with you?” Here it is.

F. I like Amy Adams in other movies but she is weak as fuck as Lois Lane. I hate her in these movies because she is mumbling and limp as fuck. She is supposed to be a hard-hitting journalist dealing with Terrorists and I can’t even hear her ass. She is Mumbling to bad guys “I’m a journalist”. She should have been slapped. They had the chance to make a strong female character and you made a mumbling white dumb dumb. She throws a staff in a water hole, then has to go back and get it and while Superman is fighting the bad guy her ass is drowning and he has to go save her ass again. This damsel in distress shit is old news. I would say “Hey Lois stay your ass at home your creating more work for me to do I am literally exhausted”. She is useless.

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G. Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luther is a mess and hokey as fuck. I’m fine with him running Google or whatever, but his nervous twitches are terrible and his lines are the worst. This red cape circling shit and the oldest lie in America crap. Who cares? Fuck you. Holly Hunter should have punched him in the dick. 

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H. Here is a video where Ben and Henry are answering questions about the bad reviews for the movie. haha

I. About Superman and Batman’s rivalry. Honestly I am sick of Batman bitching about his dead parents. You were 10 or some shit get passed it. I know people with dead parents and they okay. Plus Superman’s whole goddamn race is dead and his planet. If I was superman I would fly to Batman’s crib and destroy it, chop off Alfred’s head then fly back to the fight with Batman. There I would throw Alfred’s head down at his feet and say “I killed your goddamn waiter bitch and leveled your mansion you privileged rich white bitch now come at me, and yes bitch I am going to tear your human ass out of that tin can bat shit suit”. Then we would have fought. They should have just banged though.

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J. I liked Mercy (Tao Okamoto– Chiyo in Hannibal ) too. She was cool as fuck, but a wasted character.

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K. Literally every critic hates this movie. WOW! Just hates! I think people started hating it when they heard the title. I don’t even know what to call it when talking about it.

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L. So gritty. Haha

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