“Captain America: Civil War” or “Captain America: Gang Bang” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Captain America: Civil War“. Okay Captain America is back in part 3 of his films. Well sort of. It’s kind of like an Avengers movie too. This time Captain America is head of the Avengers and he is hanging out with Black WidowFalcon, and Scarlet Witch. They are taking down bad guys together but killing innocent people who get in the way too. Fuck! Now Iron Man is sad and getting heat from Governments and shit. So they all have a meeting with War Machine, and Vision and talk about how to control people with powers and shit. Now everybody is divided and pissed and the United Nations wants them all to sign some agreement. Later Black Widow goes to some conference and meets Black Panther and he is pissed because the Winter Soldier pops back up and blows his daddy up. Now Sharon Carter helps Captain America try to find The Winter Soldier aka Bucky with the Good Hair cuz they are best friends. But everyone hates that Winter Bitch. Shit hits the fan so Iron Man goes to get Spider-Twink to get help and everyone has to choose a side. Team Iron Man or Team Captain America.

Team Iron Man:   Iron ManBlack WidowWar MachineBlack PantherVisionSpider-Man

Team Captain America: Captain AmericaWinter SoldierFalconHawkeyeScarlet WitchAnt-Man

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Literally everyone is in a huge gang bang at the airport. Everyone is fucking everyone up. It’s ape shit nuts. Spider-Man and Ant-Man were great in this scene too. In the end Best Friends rule and the audience drools.

Okay so this movie literally had everyone in it. I think I saw my mother at one point. It is a fun movie and at this point you feel like you know most of the characters because Marvel has done a good job setting up most of these bitches. The divide that is created between the group really does make sense and you as the audience agree with both sides for the most part. You get it. People are dying because when they are fighting bad guys buildings get knocked over, but if they aren’t allowed to fight them more people will die. See I got it Mother Fucker! The cool part is that they have been setting up the Winter Soldier for 2 films so that he could create the pop off. Captain America loves him because they grew up together and were best friends, but he has killed so many people over the years and shit. Now that he ain’t about that life and is innocent everybody wants to kill his ass. Except Captain America. It’s interesting writing and story telling for sure. So I loved all that shit. I think that the Captain America movies are more grounded than the other Marvel movies. More emotion and sadness, and about people. Not a lot of aliens or big monsters flying around. More about governments and spies etc. These films seem more real than the Avengers movies to me. A lot of fist flying around and crying and shit like that. Anyway I feel like I understand two best friends trying to help each other out no matter what. However that being said, it is a superhero movie so don’t read too much into beyond that though, but I really liked it though. I mean shit there is a lot going on as usual. Don’t go piss or you will miss. You know explosion-dialogue-punch-punch-explosion-explosion-dialogue-cry, but like I said it was a lot of fun and they did a great job giving you that emotion. Black Panther was in it a lot more than I thought he would be, and Spider-Man was great too. I thought I was over his Spider-Man in movies, but that bitch did a good job so I am excited about seeing him in another movie. So if you love everyone in the Marvel world they are basically in this movie and you love being best friends then go see this movie. You will be entertained. It was a fun movie to watch and all the characters are likable and you will want to sleep with everyone in the movie. I will buy this fucker on Blu Ray!

 

The Trailer: The score in this trailer is great.

The Facts:

A. Chris Evans is great as Captain America. He sells that shit and you buy it. 

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B. The plot makes more sense than you think it will. Meaning why everyone is fighting each other. I agree with Captain America’s side more. Sometimes you gotta blow shit up.

D. Chadwick Boseman was great as Black Panther. They even allowed his character to make sense at the end of the movie. You can be him for Halloween. 

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E. I love Emily VanCamp as Sharon Carter. 

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F. Anthony Russo and Joe Russo directed this movie. They also directed Captain America: The Winter Soldier also and will direct Avengers: Infinity War – Part I and Avengers: Infinity War – Part II. Stay for this Post credit scene.

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G. Tom Holland as Spider-Man is a great choice and was funny and entertaining in the movie. I can’t wait for another Spider-Bitch Movie. 

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H. Henry Jackman composed the score and here is a track from it. The score to Winter Soldier was better though.

I. What’s also great about this movie it that there are 3 African-American superheroes in this movie, FalconWar Machine and Black Panther. There is even a scene where Falcon and War Machine are talking to each other. That doesn’t seem like a big deal but it is for a Superhero movies that usually always cater to white America. Also Black WidowScarlet Witch, and Sharon Carter are smart and tough female superheroes. It’s not all about the white dudes all the time. It’s something to notice and pay attention to. Movies should represent the world we live in. It’s a start.

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J. Ant-Man was great too. His not-hero/hero is great. Just a dude with a suit who is funny and fucking shit up.

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K. Also I can’t believe how well the digital assets were handled! Someone named Max Fisher was listed in the credits. I found this pic online of him. He must also do drag. Seems cool.

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L. The Poster has everyone on it.

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