Rob Zombie’s “31” or “Battle Royale And Hunger Games On Halloween But A Let Down” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “31“. Okay so I have liked all of Rob Zombie‘s movies “House of 1000 Corpses“, “The Devil’s Rejects” even “Halloween” 2007, “Halloween II” 2009,  and “The Lords of Salem” so I was excited to see this movie.

It starts off in the 70’s with some carnival workers driving across country on Halloween. They pull over to move some shit off the road and get kidnapped by some crazy people and taken to a warehouse in the middle of nowhere. There they are forced to play a game call “31” that is ran by Malcolm McDowell. Basically Battle Royale/Hunger Games/Running Man but on Halloween. The Halloween part is kinda of left behind at this point though. Sheri Moon is fighting for her life with a few others try to stay alive from a bunch of bad guys who seemed really forced and trying hard to be evil. I love over-the-top characters too and these characters were really just silly to me and their lines had me rolling my eyes. Rob Zombie’s other movies did not make me roll my eyes either in case you are wondering. In the end who will survive 31 and who cares if anyone does including me. Kill me too.

Okay I was really disappointed in this movie because like I said I like Rob’s other movies that he has made. So it sucks to say that shit. We have seen this film in 10 other movies that have been made since the 90’s. The difference is, is that it is on Halloween. Well “Halloween” is barely in it. So fuck that. Everything just seemed 1o years to late and so forced and cheesy. The dialogue was just sad and not witty and smart like his other films or any film for that matter. When characters in his other films said some cold and evil shit, you felt empty hearing it. This you felt nothing but “Seriously”. I just feel sad writing this review really. Even stylistically it’s a mess, the slow motion and freeze frames seem so out-of-place in this movie. I was honestly bored through most of it. I mean “The Devil’s Rejects” is an amazing film. Everything about it blows my mind. This film just looks like a rushed mess. I would wait for Netflix and watch it and then go watch one of his other films right after it so you will still like him as a Director. Sorry Rob I still love you, but this jam was weak.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Malcolm McDowell is back, but I didn’t like him in this movie. 

Now.

10355680_10153111776073323_4962103056595211_o

Back then.

uxg8i6n

B. Cute but not cute enough.

rob-zombie-31

C.  I love Sheri Moon Zombie but in this movie she looked like she was not having fun. 

rob-zombie-31-movie-597925c7-a209-490b-9f71-6514a3700f71

D. I wish there was more Halloween in a movie called 31 about Halloween.

E. He got on my nerves.

31-dead-head

F. Meg Foster and Jeff Daniel Phillips could have been cooler, but just look bored. 

31-good-guys-tease

G. It makes me sad that I was disappointed in this. I have loved all his movies but this one was just a mess and a let down. Rob I still love you and art is hard to make.

H. This poster looks fun at least.

31poster_0

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s