“Logan” or “Logan Can’t Get It Up Anymore-His Claws BITCH!” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Logan“.  Wolverine is back and he is old as fuck. He has a problem getting his claws up and hard these days and he is really only hanging out with Professor X who is a senile old man. Their lives are shit now and they are living in a warehouse with a vampire mutant tracker and I think all the other mutants are dead. I’m confused about that shit though. Now a little girl Wolverine has shown up named Laura, who is mean as hell but she needs help etc. This male model shows up with a robot arm and wants to kill them all. Now they are forced to all take a road trip and they learn how to curse and kill. In the end we learn that it’s the end.

Okay so this was a fun movie and maybe we like it because we know this shit is over. Maybe we like it because it’s rated R and they curse a lot and heads get cut off. Half way through the movie you get angry because you realize they could have been doing this rated R shit in all the movies. Wolverine could have been cutting off heads since X-Men one in 2000! Anyway it’s definitely an interesting movie because you have not seen this shit before. It’s in the future and they are all old and busted and that’s something. I have enjoyed all the X-Men movies since the first dropped in 2000. Were they all zingers? No. But they were a fun ride. Even if some were cheesy.  The ride is over now assholes (until a reboot).  The audience seemed sad. Hahaha This lady behind said “This is bullshit!”  Hahaha Anyway check it out it’s worth this watch if you love the “X-Men” movies. The score was great too by Marco Beltrami. If you are burned out by superhero movies then you will hate this shit and kill yourself during it. Thank god Jean Grey didn’t show up in this or I would have walked the fuck out!

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Hugh Jackman still scratching bitches. 

B. Richard E. Grant was in this and I love him as an actor. 

C. Dafne Keen played Laura and I guess we will see her ass in everything now. She was cool though. 

D. Marco Beltrami composed the score. It was great. He has also composed ScreamScream 2The FacultyBlade IICursedRed EyeThe Thing– remake and much more. I love him.

E. Patrick Stewart still giving it to you. He has given us so much. 

F. Boyd Holbrook played Pierce. He was great. Who the fuck is this guy?

Looks like he was a model before acting.

G. They should have played this in the end credits instead. HAHA

H. Jesus WTF.

 

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