“Jeepers Creepers 3” or “The Cheaper Goes After Country Boys” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Jeepers Creepers III“. Okay so this is part 3 and it took a while to make. I loved the first “Jeepers Creepers” and “Jeepers Creepers II” was fun also. So I was excited about this one, maybe 10 years ago, but here we are and the protesters say don’t see it because the Director Victor Salva is the real CREEPER. True. Look it up. Anyway the creeper is back and it starts off where one leaves off, outside the police station that Justin Long gets ganked at. The police dude (Brandon Smith) that was in the first Jeepers is back with a wig on or something to act like it’s the same night etc. He teams up with some Creeper Hunters to go find the bitch. Now cut to Meg Foster who is the mother of some kid who died back in 78 (the years John Carpenter’s Halloween came out). She is seeing visions of the creeper and she hates him, also her teen granddaughter owns a pony. Then here comes the country teen boys. Who really looked like they were plucked off the farm. They run into the Creeper and he is pissed and but he always loves the boys. He kills some and chases the girl with the my little pony and a freckle faced boy for a while. Then the Creeper Hunters have some long dialogue here and there. Some shit blows up and it looks like bad Photoshop. In the end there are some surprises and you are surprised, sort of, but “Final Destination 5” did it better.

Okay so first off I do like “The Creeper” monster he is fun and you like seeing him again. His makeup looks cool and he is the best part. Everything just feels like forced filler around his ass. It’s like you love the first movie because it was scary and fun, the second movie was a great idea. A bus breaks down with a bus load of teens on a back road. Amazing. This time it’s basically two old Creeper hunters running around in the daylight looking for the Creeper with bad special effects. I get it, it was lowwwwwww budget this time. I should be thankful it was made I guess. I mean shit they should have cut some of those actors out and spent money on the effects bitch. Honestly we just wanted to see Trish back in the whole movie. The real problem is they wrote themselves in a hole. The Creeper can only be seen for 23 days every 23 years. So ya know, you got films that can only take place for 23 days in 2001 (the first film) or 23 years in the future. I wish they would make Trish in the future fighting him with a jet pack on and lasers or some shit. Anyway it’s fun to watch because you love the Creeper but you will not love this movie. You will be bored with the cop and the creeper hunters and their over dramatic bullshit. You will be bored with My Little Pony girl and freckle face country boy. Meg Foster looks like a witch all the time now since “The Lords of Salem“. She was still great in “They Live“. You really just wait for the Creeper to show back up and that’s it. They didn’t even play the Jeepers Creepers Peepers song. WTF! Not enough coins for effects or songs I guess. If you want to see it in the theater you blew it. It was only playing for one night and for one time. I can see why. Wait for Blu Ray or On Demand. Watch part 1 and 2 and look for all the gay undertones. That will be more fun.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Jonathan Breck played The Creeper in all 3 movies. He is good as this bitch. 

B. Victor Salva directed all 3 and has a fucked up past. Look it up. 

C. They all looked like real country boys not actors or models. Just dudes down the street throwing hay across your ass.

D. Here is the order of all the films.

  • 1978: Intro/Flashback from Jeepers Creepers 3.
  • 2001: Jeepers Creepers (Days 1-2)
  • 2001: Jeepers Creepers 3 (Days 2-5)
  • 2001: Jeepers Creepers 2 (Days 5-6)
  • Unknown Future: Trish (Gina Davis) Outro from Jeepers Creepers 3
  • 2024: Jeepers Creepers 2 final scene.

E. Gina Philips was in the first one as Trish. The fans want her back. 

F. Meg Foster plays Gaylen Brandon, the mom of The Creeper’s victims in 1978. His name is Kenny Brandon. When Darry (Justin Long) and Trish (Gina Phillips) are driving down a Florida highway before being attacked by The Creeper they discuss the urban legend of Darla and Kenny, kids who got killed on Prom Night back in 1978. Darry found Kenny’s body in The Creepers hang out below the church.

G. Stan Shaw and Brandon Smith (He was in the first Jeepers) were the Creeper Hunters and they chewed up most of the films time and bored me. There characters were boring, forced, and over dramatic. 

H. Where the fuck was the Jeepers Creepers song? No budget for it I guess.

I. Bennett Salvay composed the score for the first 2 movies which were great. The composer for this movie was Andrew Morgan Smith (Trailer Park Shark) it was not good.

I. This poster is nice.

 

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