“The Shape of Water” or “Yes, He Has A Green Dick” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “The Shape of Water “. Okay so this movie starts off in the 1950’s with a lady named Elisa who is mute. She is single janitor and works in a top-secret government research base.  She is lonely as fuck and except for a gay neighbor and best friend Octavia Spencer, who is also a Janitor. One day at the base a water monster/ocean demon/creature from the black lagoon shows up to be experimented on by an evil Michael Shannon. He is mean to the creature and kicks it and shit. Meanwhile Elisa plays hit songs from the 50’s for it and give it eggs. Later Michael Shannon is like fuck this beast and the Govt. is too, so Elisa tries to help it. In the end Elisa falls in love with the water demon and then she end up banging it and flooding her apartment and her basement. We all learn that love goes beyond looks and species etc. 

Okay so this movie is a lot of fun and real cute. The water creature/god looks real as hell and you will love his skinny ass too. Sally Hawkins is great in the film and I do love the use of sign language too in the film. I liked Michael Shannon as an actor but he plays a bad guy a lot and it’s the same game. I mean yeah he makes a good bad guy and he is bad in this, etc. I love Octavia Spencer in anything but she feels ripped off in this. Like we have seen her play this part before. Give her something else she is amazing. She can do anything! Meanwhile the creature aka Doug Jones was so real and graceful and beautiful. They do describe his dick haha you don’t see it, even though everyone in the movie and world is wondering. Don’t lie asshole you are too. I mean they sleep together and you see Sally Hawkins  fully nude from head to toe, and she is even masturbating. They could have at least shown a green rubber ding-dong. Oh is that too much? Shut the fuck up. You see that Sally  for ass to elbow and you can’t show a green thing ding. Double standard shit. She can bare all and the male is covered up again in movies. Even when he is a goddamn monster or whatever. Anyway it’s a cute film about how people who are different can stick together and the 50’s were a real drag. Go check it out. If you love The Creature from the Black Lagoon and horror movies you will love this movie too.   

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Yes they had sex. Who wouldn’t have. Would you touch a green ding dong?

B. Guillermo del Toro (MimicBlade IIHellboyPan’s LabyrinthPacific Rim) made this film. Honestly this film is his best movie. His other stuff is okay.

C. He is trying to get a look at dat ass. Doug Jones played the Aqua dude. 


He also played Abe Sapien in Hellboy

He also plays Saru in Star Trek: Discovery

D. Sally Hawkins was great in this. She gave it to you, and to the water demon/god.

E. It was composed by Alexandre Desplat. (Moonrise KingdomThe Grand Budapest HotelGodzillaRise of the Guardians). It was cute.

A sample:

F. Basically Guillermo del Toro wanted to do a movie where the Creature from the Black Lagoon fell in love with and girl and then you see her boobies. Sorry kiddies. That’s what I think. He was a horror teen and he saw that movie and loved the creature and loved the girl. The End.

G. There has been talk about a short film looking like or ripping off the Shape of Water coming out in 2015. Here is a link to some info about it.  Guillermo del Toro says he just watched the short film the other day.

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2017/12/nothing-here-but-i-asked/

https://io9.gizmodo.com/the-shape-of-water-novel-does-much-much-more-than-adap-1820895586

http://www.indiewire.com/2018/01/the-shape-of-water-the-space-between-us-1201920378/

G. This poster is real pretty.

 

One thought on ““The Shape of Water” or “Yes, He Has A Green Dick” my fuckin review

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