“The Predator” or “Eat My Pussy Predator” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “The Predator“. Okay the original “Predator” movie is amazing. It’s like the tank of action films. Crazy masculine shots of dudes with muscles and shit. It’s crazy. The score is brilliant also. So this new movie is a sequel, so the previous films happened etc. It starts off with this sniper named Quinn McKenna. He is on some mission in the jungle and watches a predator ship crash, then he steals that predator’s helmet and arm weapon, and mails it to his son back in the states. So he would have proof of seeing an alien. This movie is already crazy at this point and you are like okay this shit is nuts. Quinn gets in trouble with the government because he saw the alien. Now he is thrown on a bus with people who are “Crazy” but really they are just unstable and bros. The “crazy” team eventually joins forces with a scientist and a weapons expert played by Olivia Munn. They discuss eating each other pussies for a little while. Now they are running around trying to find the predator and also Quinn’s son who is wearing the Predator mask for Halloween. You in the audience are like this movie is all over the place! Anyway more shit happens and there is a big mutant Predator and Predator dogs. It really is all over the place. In the end we learn that Autism is just an evolutionary jump.

Okay so this movie is literally nuts. The editing is choppy as fuck. Some things do not make any sense, which I think is because of the editing. The characters all walked out of an 80’s action movie. Ya know I am bad ass, and I am evil. Why? Who knows. Olivia Munn just shows up and is a scientist but can also fight and shoot all kinds of weapons. Quinn is a sniper who really is just a bad parent and murderer. He has lines like I will kill you if you bump into me again. Well who wants to know this person? Do you? He will kill you. He needs to be in jail. He also murderers all these military people. Umm you are in the military too. Yes, I get it he is a tough guy character from the 80’s, but have we gotten over this type of character? There is also a character with Tourette’s, but laughing at someone who curses a lot and can’t control it. That’s an old joke that is played. Why not just have someone just curse a lot. Ya know, like most people. Then someone told me the director Shane Black has Tourette’s. So I don’t know. The predator is cool but in the end doesn’t really make sense. He is here to help humanity, but kills so many humans to help them. HAHA There are just so many weird ass moments that do not make sense, it looks like things were chopped out of it while editing. There is a weird ass scene where they talk about “Eating my pussy”. It’s like wtf haha. Then you are pissed because the kid or the Predator doesn’t say it to someone later. Now that would be funny. That all being said, yes, it is fun to watch and honestly non-stop action. You may be confused watching it and roll your eyes at certain characters but you will not be bored. It is a thrill ride for sure. I can see they were trying to make something fun and over-the-top, it gets lost in itself at times. I would not rush out to see it, but when you watch it you will have fun watching it.

 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Boyd Holbrook was okay in it. He is like a super tough guy that says super tough lines like “if you touch me again I will kill you”. Do these people really exist. It’s like you are in the military and the guy guarding you is in the military. You murdered that dude.

He used to be a model. I wish that was the plot. This model finds a predator mask and wears it on the runway for fashion week. Then the predator shows up and he and his other model friends have to stop it.

B. Olivia Munn I know her name but I have not seen her in anything else. She plays a smart/tough character but she has to get naked so that the audience knows the predator will not harm people naked and afraid. Also She tries to get a blood sample from a dead predator and the guys are telling her to shut the fuck up etc. That was dumb.

C. Shane Black directed this movie and he also wrote it with Fred Dekker they also made the movie “The Monster Squad“. Which I love.

D. Jacob Tremblay has Autism in the film. These kids are making fun of him called him Aspergers. Like Ass Burger. You can tell an adult wrote this joke for the kids to say. Do kids know what Aspergers is? Anyway the kid is the smartest person in the movie. So there is a message somewhere. Another character has Tourette’s Syndrome. This seems like an 80’s joke. Like we need someone in the film to curse a lot. Why not just have someone curse a lot and not have Tourette’s. I curse a lot. Then someone told me the director Shane Black has Tourette’s.

 

E. Henry Jackman composed the score. It’s a throwback to the original score. So you like it by default. Here is a sample.

F. Fuckkkkkk, Arnold was supposed to be in it.  The original ending was this……

McKenna, his son, Rory (Jacob Tremblay) and Casey Bracket (Olivia Munn) have all just survived the final attack of the Super Predator (referred to as “The Upgrade” in the script) when a helicopter lands. Out climbs…Dutch Schaeffer (Arnold Schwarzenegger), his “face haunted; etched by pain.” Dutch tells the trio to come with him, and when Rory asks, “Uh…me, too?”, the franchise’s second-most iconic badass smiles and says “Especially you.”

Cut to black.

Arnold said this about being asked to be in it.

“They asked me, and I read it, and I didn’t like it — whatever they offered. So I’m not going to do that, no. Except if there’s a chance that they rewrite it, or make it a more significant role. But the way it is now, no, I won’t do that.”

Arnold should have showed up and shot the Predator at the end and said “Eat My Pussy Predator”. I would have died.

G. Jake Busey plays Gary Busey’s kid in the movie. Gary was in Predator 2.

H. I liked the spaceships flying around and it takes place during Halloween. I wish they had went to Predator world. They also say “Shut the fuck up” a lot. I was like true.

I. I have enjoyed all of the Predator movies. Some have been better than others though.

J. Cute

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