What to do in Atlanta for Halloween 2019! (Haunted Houses, Halloween Attractions, Events, Movies, Songs, Blu Rays, Etc.)

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Me as It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Bitch!

My name is Eddie Ray and I love Halloween. So I’m glad I live in a HALLOWEEN TOWN like ATLANTA, GEORGIA. I start celebrating September 1st and then it ends for me November 1st. True Halloween Kids always start Halloween on Sept. 1st. Two whole months!  Also I just want to say that Halloween is about the spirit of the season and the fun of it all. To dress up, dance, sing and be scared for a couple of months. It’s all inclusive and for everyone. Halloween is a happy time and should be shared by all. Nobody owns it, and nobody should. Ok that being said here are some fun things to do, some fun movies to watch, and some fun things to listen to on a spooky ass Halloween night in Atlanta. This page will be updated as new events come up or change.

Me as a gangster on left.

HERE IS SOME PROOF THAT I LOVE HALLOWEEN:

Me interviewed in Atlanta Retro:  Click here for link!

Scout Mob ghost hunt with me: Click here for link!

Scout Mob Quija Board with me: Click here for link!

Bumps of me in my Halloween costumes over the years on Adult Swim:

I was interviewed about Halloween: 

Click here for link!

Click here for 2nd link!

You can see more Halloween videos that I film on here:  Click here for videos!

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               Me as the Green Ghost from Scooby Doo

Lets talk about Haunted Attractions/ Haunted Houses first:

I used to work in a haunted house called “Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse” for 5 years, but the place it was at is now closed, so now it’s nowhere. Haha Here is a look but you missed it!

 

1. 13 Stories Haunted House- (Click here for link!): This haunted attraction has been open since 1984 in Newnan, GA. It is one of my favorite haunted attractions to visit. I’m glad to say over the years I have become friends with a lot of the ghouls there. They have a trap house. It’s amazing.

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Trailer:

 

 

2. Camp Blood  – (Click here for link!): I love the Friday the 13th films, creepy woods, and blood. So if you love those things as much as me then this is the haunted trail is for you. You even go in out of houses and cabins there. City folks beware of hillbillies and rednecks there!

3. Uncle Shucks Corn Maze  – (Click here for link!): I go here to get lost in a gigantic spooky corn maze at night. It is huge and you can even buy a pumpkin here. Remember to take friends who will have fun with you here.

4. Nightmare Gate Haunted House – (Click here for link!) Nightmare’s Gate Hospital is the medical epicenter of an infectious disease that has No Cure, No Hope, and No Mercy! Something is spreading and the Doctors and Nurses are falling victim to it’s horrific effects. Patients are overpowering Orderlies, and Priests are turned from the path of compassion to outright ridicule. Dr McGavock from the CDC is battling both the infection and the infected with the best of modern medicine and the most barbaric of treatments ever devised by man. Don’t let them touch you as you navigate the twist and turns of Nightmare’s Gate! Will you be a survivor… Or a statistic?

5. Fear The Woods- (Click here for link!) This haunt consist of three different features: The Haunted House, a place where all your psychological fears are revealed; the Haunted Trail, where you have to find your way back after being dropped off in the middle of the woods and corn with the skinner family; and Pandemic, our NEW 8,000 square foot interactive, competitive, combat field where your skills determine your fate. We have been to this one and Love it! 

6. Paranoia Haunted House – (Click here for link!) Looking for a fun place to do your haunted “housing” this year? Paranoia Haunt is located close to Atlanta, GA and is a must experience this year. People of all walks of life love getting the life scared out of them. There are two different haunted houses here, Blood Factory and Infectious.

7. Talmadge Brothers Funeral Home Haunt– (Link Here) In Jasper GA.

8. Gates of Misery –(Click here for link!)-  Gates of Misery, formerly Haunting of the Seven Hills, is filled with torture, torment, zombies, and cannibals. See schedule. In Rome, Ga.

9. Scream on the Trail – (Click here for link!)- Scream on the Trail is an outdoor trail that is full of startles and hardcore scares, Scream on the Trail full terror is not recommended for the easily scared….  Have kids or easily scared? Make sure to ask the gatekeeper for the kiddie scare version! This one was creepy cuz it was somebodies house and yard I thought they were going to really kill us.

10. Bloodwood Trail– (Click here for link!)- 196 Painter Rd. Rome Ga, 30165. 

11. Containment Haunted House– (Click here for link!) 1320 Blair’s Bridge Rd., Lithia Springs, GA 30122

12. Folklore Haunted House– (Click here for link!)- 5389 N Main St, Acworth, Georgia.

13. Escape the Woods– (Click here for link!)- You and your team will have 1 hour to escape an abandoned cabin buried deep in the woods before the time runs out. This is not just any cabin… the owner of the cabin has been studying serial killers his whole miserable life and he wants to make you his first victims. To escape before he gets home you will need to explore his cabin, solve clues, and decipher his locks. This game is designed for adults only and is not for the faint of heart. Warning this will not be for the faint of heart.

14. Zombie Farms– (Click here for link!)- Zombie Farms is a 1/2 mile walk through dark and spooky woods filled with zombies and other characters who will scare you, entertain you, and sometimes even make you laugh. This year they are offering a “Behind the Masque” tour for those who want that little something extra!  For an extra fee, a personal tour guide takes you through the back side of the event, so you can watch some scares and even participate in one!  You can ask questions about how it all works and get to see Actor Camp where actors get ready for each performance and take breaks.

15. Dread Hollow in Lookout Valley– (Click here for link!) – The nightmare knows no boundaries for the 14th year as Ruby Falls joins Fear Connection for the annual Haunted Cavern, this year at Dread Hollow – a brand new location bringing 20,000 feet of intense scare factors, less wait times, new characters, sliders and two separate haunts! Haunted Cavern is one of the area’s best haunted attractions listed #4 on Buzzfeed’s national haunt list and a 2016 top haunt by the Haunted Attraction Association.

16. Sinister Suites– (Click here for link!)- Built in 1910 in Downtown Griffin GA, the Sinister Suites Hotel of Horror is a gruesome dark production. A terrifying 5 story 60,000 square foot walk through of the most unfathomable horrors. It’s an experience we DO NOT recommend, especially for those with a faint constitution. This is a mind altering and traumatic event.

17. Terror Mills– (Click here for link!)

18. Netherworld– (Click here for link! ) It has a new location this year.  2076 West Park Place Blvd. – Stone Mountain, GA 30087.

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Me as Martin the Crow Killer

Now lets talk about fun activities and events:

1. Anime Weekend Atlanta -(Oct. 31- Nov 3rd) – (Click here for link!)- is a four-day Japanese Animation and comics convention held annually in Atlanta, Georgia. Go get your costumes there!

2. Georgia State Fair – (Sept. 27th- Oct.6th) – (Click here for link!) – See you at the State Fair!

3. Stone Mountain Pumpkin Festival– (Sept. 21st – Nov. 3rd- Friday through Sunday only) – Click here for link!) “ONLY OPEN WEEKENDS. Make family memories this fall season at Stone Mountain Park’s 11th annual Pumpkin Festival. Enjoy fun-filled games and family shows such as “Pumpkinpalooza,” scavenger hunts and the Pumpkin Mash at the Mayor’s Rockin Costume Party.”

4Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho In Concert with Atlanta Symphony Orchestra – Oct. 12th 8pm (Tickets here)

5. Walker Stalker Con– Oct. 18th- Oct. 20th (Click here for link!) ZOMBIE, HORROR & SCI-FI FAN CONVENTION.

6. Capturing The Spirit of Oakland Halloween Tour– (Link Here)(Oct. 17th- 27th). Take a look at a video.

7. Little 5 Points Halloween Parade – (Sat. Oct. 19th)- (www.l5phalloween.com)- I have been in the Halloween parade for about 5 years now and it’s so much fun to dress up and walk down the streets of Little 5 Points in a creepy costume. Not to be missed, and if you can be in it then get in it! Watch here:

8. Fernbank Fright Night (TBD)- (Click for info) In the mood for a frighteningly-fun night? Join us for a screaming good time at Fernbank’s annual adults-only Halloween party! Enjoy a costume contest, dancing, twilight tours of the new outdoor experience Woodland Spirits, access to the special exhibit Nature’s Superheroes: Life at the Limits and more. Craft beer, cocktails and small plates will be available for purchase.

9. Marys Hallo-Weenie Party- (Friday Oct. 25th)- (marysatlanta.com) For a good time on Halloween call “Marys” it’s a cool place to go. They make Halloween a big deal and have the most outlandish costumes at any club or bar I have ever seen. I always take my ass by there in October.

10.  Monsterama – (Sept. 27th-29th) (http://monsteramacon.com)-is an Atlanta convention that celebrates the fantastic in film, literature, and art.

11. Six Flags Horror Nights– (Sept. 21st – Nov. 2nd) –  Go ride some rides while getting attacked by monsters!!!! Click here for link!

12. Midtown Halloween- (TBD) – (Click here for link!) Dress up for a night of fantasy and mischief on at the Midtown Halloween block party. Atlanta’s Largest Halloween Party with 2000+ over the last 5 years takes over all of Midtown until 3am! Make sure you get your picture taken for the $1000 Costume Contest at the photo booth.

13. Halloween Night in the Highlands– (TBD)-  (Link Here) Halloween night when freaks, ghouls, zombies and goblins wear very little and scare you at parties.
Prepare yourself for a crazy Halloween in the Virginia Highlands!

14. Horror Movie Screenings:

Plaza Theater:  

Candyman 10/16

House on Haunted Hill 60th anniversary 10/5 (Link for info)

Hocus Pocus 10/30 (Click here for info)

Scream 2- 10/9 (Click for info)

Landmark Theatres:

Young Frankenstein 10/22 (Click here for info)

Frankenstein 10/29 (Click here for info)

Atlantic Station/Regal Cinemas: 

Alien 10/13 and 10/15

15. Goth Night at Marys– (Thursday Oct. 24th) – It’s time to be grimly fiendish. Bring on the dancing headless horses, dress to depress, and join us in ringing in our favorite time of the year.

16. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (Plaza Theatre- TBD) (Link Here)

17. Women in Horror Film Fest– (TBD) (http://www.wihff.com)  A unique festival, dedicated to showcasing independent female writers and filmmakers who have dedicated their craft to this genre. The fest will be held at the beautiful Crowne Plaza Hotel & Conference Center in Peachtree City, GA, nestled between legendary Pinewood Studios Atlanta and Raleigh Studios (home of AMC’s The Walking Dead).

18. Halloweentown (Oct. 19th 10pm) Click here for info- Please Join the Combined crews of ; ART APOCALYPSE ATLANTA and Secret Partys of Atlanta as we Celebrate the Most Magical Time of Year – !!!!!!!!HALLOWEEN !!!!!!!!!

Enter HALLOWEENTOWN ON Sat Oct 19th, 2019 !!
Inside a 2 Story renovated Church with a private Outside Arena Patio of Art, Performance, and Dance, Fashion Show, and Bodypaint Competition by
Atlanta Bodypaint , Plus walk directly into the Venue from the Huge fenced and monitored parking lot Next to the buiding .($5 Cash Fee)

19. Shalloween W/ Boulet Brothers -OCT. 25th 10pm- (info here)

20. Grant Park Halloween Lantern Parade– Oct. 25th 6pm – 10pm  Click here for info

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21. Evil Dead The Musical– (TBD) – Evil Dead the Musical returns to Out of Box Theatre after a sell-out run for the last two years! Sam Raimi’s cult classic is an “All Guts, All Glory” musical interpretation of Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, and Army of Darkness features songs like “All the Men in My Life Keep Getting Killed by Kandarian Demons,” “Ode to an Accidental Stabbing,” and “Do the Necronomicon.” This musical is not for the faint of heart, but is sure to leave your screaming with laughter.

Click here for Link!

22.  4th Annual Shock & Roll Halloween Extravaganza – Oct. 17th   (Click here for info)- Eye Wreckin’ Entertainment presents the 4th Annual Shock & Roll Halloween Extravaganza! You couldn’t ask for a better show than this! Halloween is comin’ for ya’, Atlanta! Make your plans NOW!!!
Featuring:
The Casket Creatures, ELZIG

23. Day of the Dead Festival- Oct. 27th (Click here for info) – Visitors of all ages learn about and experience a Day of the Dead festival. Guests enjoy traditional dancing, crafts and authentic mexican food and entertainment. View a display of altars honoring lost family and friends that are decorated with flowers, food and beverages. Admission is free.

24. Slaughter Que: The Masquerade(TBD)

Click here for the link!

 

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Me as a Swamp Witch

Where to get makeup and costumes:

1. Norcostco Atlanta Costume – (Click here for link!)

2. Costumes Etc. – (Click here for link!)

3. Eddie’s Trick Shop- (Click here for link!)

4. Sprit Halloween- (Click here for link!)

Here is me and Max at Spirit!

5. Halloween Headquarters- (Click here for link!)

6. Halloween Express- (Click here for link!)

7. Halloween City – (Click here for Link!)

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ME as Afro Demon!

What’s coming soon to a theater near you:

-Sept. 6th- It: Chapter 2, The Nightingale

-Oct.11th – Addams Family Animated film

– Oct.18th – Maleficent: Mistress of Evil,  Zombie Land 2

 

What’s coming soon to a TV:

-Sept. 18th- AHS 1984: FX

-Oct. 1st- Travel Channel Ghostober (Link for show info)

-Oct. 1st- on Free Form: 31 Nights of Halloween. (CLICK HERE FOR SCHEDULE)

-Oct. 1st- 31st- Syfy Channel: 31 days of Halloween (Link for info)

-OCT. 3rd TCM (Click here for schedule )

Me as Icee Bear

What’s coming out on Blu Ray:

Sept. 3th- SCOOBY DOO season 1 and 2, Nightmare Cinema

Sept. 10th – Scars of Dracula

Sept. 17th- The Prey, The Hills Have Eyes 2

Sept. 24th- Vampires, Fear No Evil

Oct. 1st– The Shining 4k, Gremlins 4K,

Oct. 8th- Nightmare Beach

Oct. 15th– The Omen Box Set

Oct. 29th– The Blob (1988)

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Me as The Ghost of ZEN TUO

Now lets talk about what’s fun to watch in October:

Here is my top 31 list: Click here for list!

1. Halloween (1978) – The best horror film of all time because John Carpenter is gold. I thanked him once for the joy he brought to my life.

2. The Fog (1980)– A John Carpenter classic, everything about this film is brilliant to me even the score. Scary, moody, spooky and tense.

3. Trick ‘r Treat– This film is incredible and should be a staple film to watch on Halloween. You will learn a lot about the Halloween season in this film. Do yourself a favor buy this film today. Do not rent it, buy it!

4. Halloween II (1981) – A sequel that made me scared BLEEPless of hospitals and was just as fun to watch as the first.

5. The House of the Devil– This throw back to the 80′s is gold and it’s quiet, moody, scary and satanic. Watch it and you will be spooked. The Director Ti West knows what he is doing.

6. The Return of the Living Dead– The best zombie movie ever made, and some of my favorite dialogue in film period. Amazing soundtrack too.

7. Hellraiser– Humans are the bad guys in this amazing horror love story. Watch it for the love or the gore.

8. The Conjuring– This haunted house movie is spooky as fuck. Check it out on a dark Halloween night.

9. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master– My favorite of the Freddy/ Nightmare films. The teens are BLEEPIN incredible in this film, and you will wish you could hang with Freddy when it’s over.

10. The Descent– This film made me jump twice. I don’t ever jump in movies. The plot is simple and brilliant and gave me a panic attack. Watch this film with all the lights off.

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Domo Arigato 70’s Roboto!

Here’s a list of kids Halloween movies:

1. The Halloween Tree – Learn about the season of Halloween in this kids adventure written by Ray Bradbury.

2. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown– Ummm its Charlie Brown.

3. The Fat Albert Halloween Special– I LOVE FAT ALBERT!

4. ParaNorman– A fun and relevant movie about being different, zombies, ghosts, and witches. It’s incredible.

5.. The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad This film feels like Halloween.

6. Monster House– Kid creepy and fun.

7. Mad Monster Party?– Party with monsters that have the voices of Boris Karloff and Phyllis Diller.

Xanadoug from the planet Zatarain!

How about some spooky scores to scare the neighbors with or to chill with:

1. “The Fog” music by John Carpenter– This music will scare any trick or treater.

2. “Poltergeist” music by Jerry Goldsmith– Carol Anne’s theme is the ultimate spooky jam. One of Jerry’s best scores.

3. “Amityville Horror” music by Lalo Schifrin– Horror music based on a true story. Count me in.

4. “Halloween” music by John Carpenter–  You can never go wrong with Carpenter cuts.

5. “A Nightmare on Elm Street” music by Charles Bernstein– When I was kid this score was playing in a line at Six Flags and scared the hell out of me. Shut up it was dark!

6. “It Follows” music by Rich Vreeland– This is electronic gold, and it’s an amazing throw back to Carpenter and Bernstein.

7. “The Conjuring” music by Joseph Bishara– This shit is scary as fuck.

 

Me as The Georgia Patch King 1817
The Grim Reaper!

“Midsommar” or “Relationships Are Scary!”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Midsommar“. Ari is back! He made my favorite movie of 2018 “Hereditary“. Here is my review of that movie https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/06/12/hereditary-or-true-horror-is-family-my-fuckin-review/

Okay so just like Hereditary this movie starts off with more grief and sadness. Dani is a lady who is sad about her family shit, and her boyfriend Christian is over it. Will Poulter shows up and wants Christian to dump her before they go on a trip to Sweden with friends. Then Dani gets invited and they all head over to Sweden for this midsummar festival. Shit gets crazier and crazier when they all end of up in this fucked Pagan nightmare.

Listen this is not Hereditary, but did you want it to be? I didn’t. Give me something different and Ari did. He is definitely doing what he wants to in his movies. I do love that he uses grief or death themes to begin his stories. It’s interesting and this film gives it to you. You feel like it’s happening to you. It looks, sounds and feels real. I also love that in the end it’s a happy ending for the “Bad Guys” (just like in Hereditary), I say Bad Guys, but they really aren’t. From their perspective they are just living their lives and are happy, now granted they do and like fucked up shit. The truth of it is still there. This movie is really about American Interlopers/tress-passers. American ignorance and privilege etc. They come into a place thinking they are at the center of everything and that a people beliefs and ideals are silly. They realize they fucked up soon enough. Think The Texas Chain Saw Massacre at Coachella. Trespassers come into (home invasion) Leartherface’s crib and he is like WTF and the Trespassers don’t understand they eat people or whatever. This movie is a similar design and I love that.

Florence Pugh does a great job as Dani, because you dislike her at first then understand her later. She sells it hard. Jack Reynor is giving you dongs out for the summertime. There is a sex scene that is amazing and fucked up. You will laugh and be horrified. I have really grown to like Will Poulter in films, he is an interesting actor for sure. You really will have fun watching this movie. Yes, it’s funny at times too. Then shit gets gory and fucked up. It’s a bright horror movie. The sun is in your face and is like it’s own character in this movie! Is it super scary? No. Is it crazy and fucked up? Yes. I can’t wait to see his 3rd film. Go check it out it for sure.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Directed by Ari Aster (Hereditary) he is has done 2 films that I have loved and I am excited to see the next one.

Here is a short he made in 2011.

 

B. How I feel on Mondays.

C. Composed by The Haxan Cloak (The Enemy Within) and it’s interesting for sure. It’s a nice score, it feels hopeful but at the same time dreadful. I liked it.

D. Florence Pugh (Little Women) played Dani, and you loved, hated and then loved her again. She feels like a real character and somebody you know.

E. Will Poulter (Black Mirror: Bandersnatch The Maze Runner) was great in this. I have grown to love him in movies and he sells it.

F. Jack Reynor was great as the jerk friend/ boyfriend. His dong is out too. It’s the year of the dong. Here is an article with him talking about it. https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2476070/jack-reynor-advocated-for-midsommars-full-frontal-nude-scene

G. I love that in both his films they end with an uplifting happy song. It’s a happy ending for the “bad guys”.

H. This poster is great

 

 

“Godzilla: King of the Monsters” or “Humans Suck in Monster Movies” – my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Godzilla: King of the Monsters“. I was super excited to see this movie. I love Godzilla and I love the Director Michael Dougherty.

Okay so the film begins with Millie Bobby Brown and her family. The world is shit and there are monsters asleep everywhere. Millie’s mom, Vera Farmiga, wakes all the monsters up with some new Monster Alarm Clock. Now Rodan and Mothra and King Gidorah are up and horny. So, Godzilla is back to stop them. Meanwhile all these humans are flying around in some kind of future plane. All the monsters fight, and you realize okay maybe you do need interesting characters even in a monster movie.

Okay so let me first say that the monsters look amazing, their fight scenes are incredible. Your mouth will be hanging fuckin open and Rodan is my hero and I love him. The score is pretty great too. Everything is loud and powerful, and you will be like holy shit. Now for the humans. They are honestly dumb and boring. I love the actors that were chosen too, but they were lifeless in their parts. The humans in the film are basically following the monsters around while also looking for Millie. Listen who gives a shit about this little girl in the movie. Who fuckin cares. I thought I could get over the dumb characters because the monsters are big and cool, but you can’t. You feel let down by the time the movie ends. It’s like you love half the movie and hate the other half. I don’t care about some dumb family when the world is ending. Fuck them.  Maybe I just hated the writing for these characters. It’s crazy how they really got half this movie so right and the other half so weird and forced. If you love Godzilla movies you will love seeing these giant critters banging, but you will not be able to relate to one person in this movie. See it on the big screen for the monsters, because on a small TV it will suck all the way.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Michael Dougherty  (Trick ‘r Treat, Krampus) I love you but I wish the characters were cooler or more real.

B. Kyle Chandler (Super 8, Catch-22 ) got on my nerves the whole movie. Sadly he will be back as this character in Godzilla vs. Kong

C. Vera Farmiga is really great in anything but here character is weird in this film.

D. Millie Bobby Brown  is boring and forgettable in this movie. Standing around staring is not acting or likable at all.

E. Honestly this is image pretty amazing.

F. Bear McCreary  (The Walking Dead, Happy Death Day , 10 Cloverfield Lane ) is a fun composer and I liked this score. Check it out.

G. I guess these are the Mothra twins but they don’t sing in this movie. It was huge missed opportunity.

G. These poster are amazing!

“Ma” or “The Party of the year” – my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Ma“. Listen maybe you are on the fence about this? or maybe you want to have a good time and see MA!

Okay the movie starts off with a mother and daughter moving to a new town. There the daughter meets the local teens and they all start hanging. One day they want to get lit as fuck but aren’t old enough to buy booze, so they see MA (Octavia Spencer) and ask her if she will buy the booze for them. She does but gets them to come over to her basement to party. It’s a good time and they all become friends until MA gets possessive and controlling and doesn’t want to drink alone. The shit gets crazy and people die! In the end you realize you have never partied until you partied with MA.

WOW! Okay I loved this movie and it really was crazy as fuck. Octavia Spencer is giving it to you in this. She is living her best goddamn life. Dancing, partying and killing. It is one of the most fun movies of the year. You will want to hang out with MA. I love that there are flashbacks to her in High School. Showing what made her angry. Like “Prom Night” etc. It feels like an 80’s horror movie at times for sure. I love when horror reflects what is going in society at that time. The lesson is shit you say and do in the past will come back and haunt you. Like on Facebook/Instagram in the real world today. The teens are fun and memorable, and you will like hanging with them for the length of the film. There are some crazy things they show in this movie and we are there for it. MA come through! You really will be entertained by this movie and want to see a sequel the second you leave the theater. Go so MA for a good time! I am buying this movie when it drops!

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Octavia Spencer was great in this film. She had fun with it and lived it! I hope they make MA 2: Spring Break

B. Ma’s theme song is amazing.

D. Juliette Lewis was great in this. I feel like I understand her more now that she is older.

E. Corey Fogelmanis (Mostly Ghostly: One Night in Doom House, PrankMe) was the teen twink in this and he got to make out with MA. Yes to all this fucked up shit!

F. Gregory Tripi composed the score (The Fix) sort of a new composer but I was into it. Take a listen

G. I want this poster. What I really want is a standee of MA to take pics with!

“Pet Sematary 2019” or “Sometimes Dead Is Better, When You Are Watching This Movie” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Pet Sematary“. This is a remake of the original “Pet Sematary” or the book whatever. I was excited about seeing this movie I don’t mind remakes if they are good.

Okay so the Creed family moves into a new house. They are a happy family with 2 kids and a cat named Church. Everything is cool until they see the neighborhood kids wearing advanced paper mache animal masks. I still can’t make a mask this good, but the neighborhood are and crafts are popping off. Eventually the Church gets ran over by a truck and the this old pervert next door helps them bury their cat on this mountain hours away. The mountain is curse or sour but it brings dead shit back to life. The parents say and do stupid shit then, one fo the kids gets hit by a car looking for the cat. Now the dad is sad (sort of) and goes and buries the little girl on the mountain and she comes back to life, but she is talking and having shitty conversations. In the end you realize that everyone in this movie sucks.

Okay listen, yes I do like the original film, but now I think I love it. This film made me realize that the original Pet Sematary movie was great. This new film you will literally hate the entire cast. They are all boring and forgettable and no it’s not scary. If anything it’s dumb and funny. It’s supposed to take place in Maine but that is clearly Canada, with those thick ass woods. No New England accents either. It’s in the original movie and it sells it. You may think who cares. Well it’s a Stephen King movie. His whole schtick is New England shit. So they blew it.

They also flip the script and the little girls is the first dead person to come back, but she is terrible and it feels like everything is she says is forced. Her acting is fake and feels like and acting class. I am not picking a kid either, the original kid that played Gage is only 2 years old and he deserved an Oscar for his part. The new Gage is barely in it and useless. Louis and Rachel are just 2 dummies walking around and you want them to die. Nothing feels natural and I was bored watching it. Even the cat is just a plain old dirty tabby with hair gel. It’s too much and yet not enough. Skip this movie and go watch the original that just got remastered and released on 4K. This new movie forgettable and will be lost in horror movie time.

 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. I hate Church in this movie. He is just a dirty Tabby.

B. I hate Jason Clarke (Louis) in this movie.

C.I hate Amy Seimetz (Rachel) in this movie.


D. I hate Jeté Laurence (Ellie) in this movie. She needed her ass whipped. The ground and  her attitude were sour.

E. I hate Hugo Lavoie (Gage) in this movie.

F. I hate John Lithgow (Jud) in this movie.

G. I hate Alyssa Brooke Levine (Zelda) in this movie.

H. The music was composed by one fo my favorite composers (Christopher Young) and it was forgettable. I am sad about this. Listen here.

I. It was directed by Kevin Kölsch,(Starry EyesDennis Widmyer (Starry Eyes ). It was forced, boring, and the actors looked lost.

J. The Original Gage (Miko Hughes) should have gotten a lifetime achievement award when he was in this movie at 2 years old!

Denise Crosby played the original Rachel and this speech she gives and this scene are incredible. Both the new Rachel and new Zelda are shit.

Mary Lambert directed the original movie and she really did and amazing job, and it’s more interesting to see a female perspective on Pet Sematary.

J. The Poster is cluttered.

 

 

“US” or “Tether My Ass Scared” – my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Us“. This is Jordan Peele‘s second film! Will it be as good as GET OUT? Is he a one hit wonder or whatever?

Okay so this movie starts off with a little girl who gets lost at the LOST BOYS amusement park on the beach. She ends up in a fun house and runs into Doppelganger down there. She gets back with her parents and she is scared for years. Later the little girl grows up to be Lupita Nyong’o and she is married now and has kids. Now they are all headed back to the beach for fun, Lupita hates the beach because she saw that creepy twin of hers there. It’s night-time and now there is a sketchy family attacked them who also looks just like them. Their doppelgänger/twins hate them and want to see them dead. The chase is on and these Tethered evil twins want blood. In the end you must fight your real enemy who happens to be yourself.

Okay Jordan Peele is giving it to us. You can see he loves horror films from the past, but he is giving his new life. Lupita Nyong’o is amazing in this film as both good and evil characters. So much so you don’t even know who to root for. She really is great in this movie. The whole family is amazing, both versions of them. One family you love because they are fun-loving and real. The other family you love because they are scary and mean as hell. Listen its 2019 and audiences want their horror movies to be smart and witty. This one is both. There is a line that Adelaide Wilson says to her daughter when the shit is about to hit the fan, “Go put your shoes on”. That one line really sums up how smart this movie is. We are so used to seeing dummies in horror movies run around and not think or be prepared (not all horror movies but a lot of them). I really love that line. In the movie “The StrangersLiv Tyler character is bare foot and when shit is going down you see her literally push shoes out-of-the-way. She should be putting shoes on and getting ready to fight. She doesn’t. The Wilson family in “Us” is smart and ready for action.

There are some parts that you will figure out early on, but even then you will think, did I really figure it out. It really keeps you guessing about everyone and even after it is over you will be thinking back about the film and realizing new shit. I bet if you watch this movie 5 more times you will still be learning and seeing secrets. I love the whole idea about being tethered to a bad you, that you want to get rid of. I love that your worst enemy is you. I love that maybe you yourself are the bad person. I love that the government is involved. I love their costumes. It really gives it to you. We can write pages about this movie but stopping reading spoilers and go see the movie and see what your perception of the movie will be. You will be scared and entertained the whole way through.

 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Jordan Peele is popping off! We are excited for more films by him. He really is making scary and smart horror films.

B. Lupita Nyong’o listen she is giving it to you in this movie on all levels. 

C. A detailed article about the film. In case you are lost or something.

https://shadowandact.com/the-ending-of-us-explained-review

D. If you are still feeling lost after the movie here is another link that explains some things. It’s interesting. A lot I missed.

https://www.slashfilm.com/us-movie-ending/

E. A new theory that Michael Myers is tethered.

https://movieweb.com/us-halloween-thethered-fan-theory-michael-myers/?fbclid=IwAR1VINTFveYwjnUAtec4TdkPXbanomXOgr0g5az2xwVsiT9FUqGy7ctB0DA

F. This costume is scary and will look good this Halloween.

G. Mixing this song into score is brilliant and also mocks other horror films for always slowing down rock songs to a creepy version. The score was composed by Michael Abels (Get Out ) and so far 2 great scores.

H. Tim Heidecker (Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!) and Elisabeth Moss (The Handmaid’s Tale) were great in this and fun to watch.

I. What a great poster.

 

“Happy Death Day 2U” or “Get Your Ass To The Multiverse”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Happy Death Day 2U“. The original Happy Death Day was a fun and amazing feel good movie. Make sure you watch part one before part 2.

The movie starts off right where the last one left off. This time from the roommate that keeps opening the dorm room door in the first scene, the guy talking about her vagina every time. They all figure out that they are in a time loop pretty fast, but they all end up in a multiverse. Another universe where shit is similar but also different. Tree has to figure out if she is staying in this new multiverse with dead relatives or go back to her old one. Also who the new killers are. In the end shit gets crazy and stay for the post credit scene.

Okay so listen I love the first movie. I love the character Tree. I love who plays Tree (Jessica Rothe ). This movie is fun but it’s crazier and sillier than the first film. It’s great seeing a different universe with the cast of the first film with a twist. When the fun parts were happening they were genuinely fun, but when shit was silly it got super silly. The silly shit is cringey for sure. Like some of it is goofy as fuck. I know they were trying to make scenes look like a crazy 80’s movie, but it’s 2019. We are over that shit. There are a group of College nerds and they are just dumb and annoying as fuck.

This time finding the killer is just a side plot, that you really don’t care about anymore. You just want to see more crazy multiverse stuff. You kept thinking maybe giant spiders would show up or aliens or Tree would fight another version of herself. They opened the door to fun, but it was capped. We were having fun with that and they needed to go further. Okay that being said, you will have fun watching it and roll your eyes throughout. I do hope they make a part 3.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Christopher Landon directed this movie. He directed Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones and wrote DisturbiaParanormal Activity 2, 3 and 4. His father is Michael Landon from Little House on the Prairie.

B.  Jessica Rothe (She was in La La Land  as somebody?) plays Tree. She really is a cool final girl and her personality backs it up. 

D. Israel Broussard (The Bling Ring , Fear the Walking Dead) is back as Carter. He sells that good guy role but they should have made him gay in the multiverse.

E. The score is composed by Bear McCreary (Terminator: The Sarah Connor ChroniclesBattlestar GalacticaThe Walking Dead) and it was fun. His stuff is pretty great.

F. These group of nerds are terrible and silly. They could have been more interesting and memorable.

G. Here is her ringtone if you want it. I did.

H. I do love these posters.