“I, Tonya” or “A Real American Hero” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “I, Tonya“. I heard there was a lot of cursing in this movie so I was excited to see this jam. Okay so this is the story of the Ice Skater Tonya Harding. Basically it’s her growing up white trash and poor, but loving to ice skate and getting beat by her mother. Then getting married and getting beat by her husband. All while training for the Olympics and trying to win at Ice Skating. People hate her because she was white trash and vulgar and had to make her own costumes. Also because she picked rock songs to skate to. Then one day her dumb ass body-guard and husband hired some dudes to go hit Nancy Kerrigan in the leg with a pipe. She didn’t know shit about it and it ruined her life and Ice Skating career. It really is fucked up! In the end dreams can’t come true.

Okay so this movie is really entertaining and I honestly learned a lot about Tonya. Her life was hard and she got ripped the fuck off. The dialogue is real and funny and fucked up. The script is the one thing that made sense in 2017. Margot Robbie plays Tonya and she was great. She sold the shit out of it and her costumes were amazing too. Even  Sebastian Stan was great as her abusive dumb ass husband. Allison Janney plays her mother and was incredible. She is an dickhead, but you love to hate her ass, or just love her. Whatever. Meanwhile Tonya is really the true story of an American Hero. She was beaten down and should and could have won all the shit, but people fucked her dream up. You really will be entertained watching this movie and you will laugh and be sad all at the same time. Go check it out. Filmed in Atlanta!!!! Tonya we are sorry we were all dicks to you!

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Margot Robbie played Tonya Harding and she was great!  Look at her!

B. Directed by Craig Gillespie (Fright Night 2011, United States of TaraKid Cudi: No One Believes Me (Video short)) and filmed in Atlanta! 

C. Allison Janney played Tonya’s mom. She was fucking great! Her lines were amazing. 

D. Sebastian Stan played Jeff Gillooly I forgot it was him. He was that good.

E. OMG the real Tonya and Nancy!

Here is the video of Nancy Kerrigan crying.

F. Here is the real Tonya skating to the Music: Batman soundtrack by Danny Elfman, Send in the Clowns by Sondheim, Wild Thing by Tone Loc. HAHAHAHA I am amazed. She does the triple Axel.

G. They played this song in the movie. YES!

H. They filmed at the GOLDEN BUDDHA here in Atlanta.

I. Sufjan Stevens wrote this song for the movie but it was not used. You may recognize his work from other films like “Call Me By Your Name” or just in life. He is amazing.

J. YES!

“Blade Runner 2049” or “The Future is Long but Pretty!” – My fuckin review

Here is my review for “Blade Runner 2049“. Let me first start off by saying I am not a big fan of the 1982 film “Blade Runner“, but I was excited to see the new one.

Okay this time it’s the future again. It’s 2049 and the world sucks. There are humans that look like robots running around. Ryan Gosling plays a police officer named “K”. His job is to track down old ass robots who have gone into hiding, who basically should have died in part 1. In the film’s opening, K tracks down a farmer bot living in a shit hole. What he finds there will start his journey to figure out his own past and what it means to be a human. He has sex with his hologram girlfriend and then Harrison Ford shows up. Humans and I am right.

Okay so this movie is visually amazing. Your brain will explode. The sets are nuts, the costumes are nuts, the landscapes/cities are nuts. You will be dizzy and sucked in and the sucked off. The music will make your ears melt. Honestly even Ryan Gosling’s character will pull you in fast. Something about him in this movie interests you. You want to see where the fuck he is going and who he is. What makes a human, human in the future. Shit what makes you a human. Are you human at all? There is a beautiful sadness to it all and to Ryan’s characters. Is the movie long? Fuck yes, but I really didn’t mind it because there is so much to see and hear, and even feel at times. Plus Ryan and the cast kept me interested. You really are living it with them. I know the film didn’t really do well at the box office, because it’s for a sequel for a film that was made in 1982, but I am glad it’s not a reboot or whatever. I am glad it’s a part 2, with not all the questions answered. Leave me with confusion and sadness. The director Denis Villeneuve (Arrivalknows how to tell a Science Fiction story and how to make it believable and interesting. I mean it’s based on characters by Philip K. Dick so you know, but I am glad Ridley Scott didn’t direct it. I feel like his vision for fresh and interested Science Fiction died in the 80’s. This last Alien films have been shit and this would have been a mess. Meanwhile you should see this in the theater big and loud and proud. It will make a difference. 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Ryan Gosling is interesting in anything. He is great in this film and we buy what this bitch is selling. Rob Sadness or some shit.

B. The score is really the main character in this film. Composed by Benjamin Wallfisch (ItAnnabelle: Creation) and Hans Zimmer (The Dark Knight RisesInception). It’s amazing, even though there was some drama on who they decided to go with for the composer.

http://collider.com/blade-runner-2049-composer-replacement-explained-johann-johannsson/

C. You are mesmerized with the look of this whole film and just stare at it.


D. Directed by Denis Villeneuve  (Arrivalhe knows how to tell and interesting Science Fiction story with cool characters and amazing dialogue.

E. Jared Leto sometimes we don’t know what to think of your weird ass, but you fit it in here.

F. Harrison Ford  shows up in this and you know honestly he doesn’t really show up until towards the end and he throws the movie off for me. It took me kind of out of it. You just get used to him not being in it and then all of a sudden there he is. Like oh yeah Harrison Ford.

G. How is back? WTF! Sean Young! Technology is amazing! 

I loved Mackenzie Davis.

H. Cute poster. Blah

 

“Lady Bird” or “Mothers and Daughters Fight A Lot” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Lady Bird“. It’s like 2002 in Sacramento, California! She is a girl from the wrong side of the tracks! Get ready for Lady Bird! Lady Bird is a high school girl stuck in a Catholic school and she wants out. Outta that school and town and away from her bitchy mom. She has a best friend played Beanie Feldstein that makes life bearable and she has a first and second romance her senior year there. Neither really work out but she learns a lot from them. It’s really the story of a daughter VS. a mother, and how they love/hate each other. Is this true of all mothers and daughters? They acted like my mom and sister! In the end will Lady Bird learn to appreciate her overbearing my mom? Will her mom learn to love her free-spirited daughter? Will Lady Bird get out of Sacramento? Does anyone? You will have to see it to find out! 

Okay so this really was a well made and funny film. You will grow to love Lady Bird fast in this movie. Saoirse Ronan is believable, witty and truly funny. Her mother is played by Laurie Metcalf and she is comedy gold. Yes, she is crazy and controlling, but also caring and loving. It’s real! Beanie Feldstein is Lady Bird’s best friend and she was in Neighbors 2. She is amazing in both films. I can’t wait to see her in more films also. It was directed by Greta Gerwig and she gave it to you. Keeping shit real, funny and smart the entire film. You loved every character and wanted to see Lady Bird get out of this shit town. At times you feel like it’s and indie drama and the next minute it’s like a big Hollywood movie. I can’t wait to see Greta’s next movie if it’s as fun and interesting as this one. This one is a must see and you will like it for sure. I hope they make “LADY BIRD 2- The College Years 2004”.  Saoirse Ronan is a star. Greta is the real deal!

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Saoirse Ronan is great in this movie and she has been great in other movies that you forgot she was in! HannaThe Grand Budapest HotelBrooklyn

She also looks like she could be in a teen X-MEN show too. Look at this other girl on a Fox X-Men show.  It’s not her but see what I mean.

B. Laurie Metcalf is comedy gold.

She was the killer in Scream 2 also. DEBBIE SALT! I know Roseanne too.

C. Directed by Greta Gerwig (Nights and Weekends) but she acted in China, ILThe House of the DevilThe Mindy Project

D. Beanie Feldstein was great in this movie and in . She also Jonah Hill sister. 

E. They played this song in it. Love this!

F. Timothée Chalamet is great in this movie. He is also in “Call Me by Your Name“. He is in 2 huge films this year.

G. Lucas Hedges (Manchester by the Sea) and John Karna (MTV Scream) are making out in the boys bathroom in this movie.

H. This poster is great.

The Best Films of 2017! Just my fuckin Opinion! CHILL OUT!

Here is a list of my top films of 2017 that I loved and the reviews for each one underneath. You may agree or disagree. Who cares make your own or let me know one I may have missed and I will watch that shit and add it to the list. There are links to my movie reviews after each title listed. It was a great year for movies and there were so many more movies that were great that didn’t make the list. They say when the real world is shit then art is great.

  1. Call Me by Your Name– I have been thinking about this movie for days. A lot longer than any other film this year. Something about stays with you. The acting, the dialogue or maybe the music.  Maybe it was the truth and sadness of it all. I am not even into love stories but this stuck with me. So it wins.

Click here to read my review!

2. Get Out– A horror movie that is truly scary as fuck, but also says a million things about the world you live in. A brilliant film that will be remembered for years to come.

Click here to read my review!

3. The Florida Project– I loved this movie because it was funny and sad as hell. It felt real and I loved the characters.

Click here to read my review!

4.  The Disaster Artist– I loved this story about 2 best friends making a movie that nobody liked.

Click here to read my review!

5. Wonder Woman– It’s about a Wonder Woman! They gave it to you on a lot of levels. I thought she was believable and sincere.

Click here to read my review!

6.  The Babysitter– I really loved this movie and watched it 3 times. It was a lot of fun to watch and I loved the characters. Make a part 2 I am in bitch!

Click here to read my review!

7.  Baby Driver– Something about Ansel sucks you in, and the driving and the music was beyond fun to me. Plus hello Atlanta.

Click here to read my review!

8. Happy Death Day– Happy horror movies, this new trend in horror is weird but I like it. It was the feel good movie of the year. I loved watching this movie.

Click here to read my review!

9. Star Wars: The Last Jedi– I loved it because it was subversive as fuck. Then days later fans hated it and critics loved it. WTF! I watched it again, then realized I loved it more. Film is supposed to shock and surprise you. This movie did that.

Click here to read my review!

10.  It– Those kids sold this movie and made it fun and scary and you are excited to see part 2!

Click here to read my review!

BONUS: Movies that were fun to watch and were runners-up to my top 10 list.

1. I, Tonya– Dialogue I can understand for a change. Also a story about a true American hero that everyone shit on.

Click here to read my review!

2. Lady Bird– Mothers and daughters hate each other but that’s funny and emotional. Haha this movie is great.

Click here to read my review!

3. The Shape of Water-The love story we were waiting on. Someone slept with the Creature from the Black Lagoon! A beautiful love story about who are the real monsters in this world.

4. Blade Runner 2049– I am not a huge fan of Blade Runner, but you are sucked into this movie and you just stare at everything and are lost in it. The music is incredible also.

Click here to read my review!

5. Atomic Blonde– Charlize can do no wrong. She is amazing in this movie and the fight scenes will make you go blind.

Click here to read my review!

6. Better Watch Out – At first I was rolling my eyes in this movie then things flipped and I screamed out loud! I love this mean ass movie!

Click here to read my review!

7. Beach Rats-This beautifully shot movie about a gay man who doesn’t believe he is gay is as real as shit gets.

Click here to read my review!

8. Girls Trip– The funniest movie of the year. You will laugh until you throw up.

Click here to read my review!

9.  The LEGO Batman Movie-The Lego movies have better dialogue than most live action movies. If you love Batman you will love this movie. I did.

Click here to read my review!

10. Coco-Coco was sad as fuck, but honest too. Even kids wanted to die in 2017.

Click here to read my review!

“Call Me by Your Name” or “A Real Love Story” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Call Me by Your Name“. Okay this is the film everybody and their gay mother is talking about! So I was like we gotta see this! The film takes place in 1983 somewhere in Italy. This 17-year-old boy named Elio is there with his family on vacation or living there for the summer. One day this dude shows up named Oliver who is his dads research assistant and they slowly start to hang out. Elio dates this girl but really he is in love with Oliver and doesn’t know how to say it or show it because he is a guy. He also watches Oliver with loving other women also. Eventually he confesses how he really feels toward Oliver and shit gets real when Oliver feels the same way. The begin a romance and relationship and it’s the realest shit I have seen, Male or Female. Eventually Elio and peach get nasty and I almost pass out. In the end shit gets even more real when Elio’s dad talks to him about relationships and emotions.

Okay this movie is pretty amazing. You really feel like they are in love with each other. The way they look at each other and act. It’s crazy. In most movies it feels weird and forced. This movie feels like it’s beyond two guys in love. It’s just about two humans in love. I mean honestly it really feels real and honest, like a documentary (but not shot that way). You are just like What the fuck. There is one scene where Elio is sort of telling Oliver about how he feels and is talking to himself at the same time. I was like wow that’s real as fuck. Also another when they are drunk roaming around the city at night, towards the end of the movie, and Elio looks up at Oliver and he genuinely looks like he is in love with him. It’s crazy. On that note Timothée Chalamet deserves all the awards, he was great in this movie and is an interesting actor to watch in a film. There is a shot at the end where he is just staring at the camera and crying and you are goddamn broken watching it. You just stare back at him. Everyone in the audience has been there with him. It’s fucked up. Another amazing thing about this movie is that there is no Villain or “Bad Thing” coming for the two characters. Meaning we know going into the movie that it’s about two gay guys in love, so every time they kiss or talk or touch we think someone is going to gay bash them or some shit. Like will it be Elio’s parents or towns people or police or who knows. We just keep thinking something terrible is going to happen to them because in most films with gay characters bad shit is going to happen, or slash in real life. It was great to see something where it was just about 2 people in love. THAT’S IT! No bad guys or bad things! Just two guys dealing with love. Even when Elio’s dad talks to Elio about their relationship it’s real as fuck and supportive and sad. It left me on the goddamn floor. The shit his dad said everyone can take home and learn from and think about for days. The dialogue and acting are pretty amazing in this film and will stick with you for days. The music was incredible and you will download those songs the minute you get home and probably fuckin cry again. This movie is not to be missed. If you are Gay, Bi, Straight, or Dead (inside) you will love this film and learn from it. Go see it now. I will buy it when it comes out. 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. This movie is beyond 2 guys in love. It was love story and they looked like they were really in love. It’s a film about seeing beyond the shell. 

B. There is a scene where the dad talks to Elio about his relationship and it’s the most real shit I have ever heard about life and being broken and not to let yourself be broken from life. It’s some sad shit that has stuck with me for days.

C. He was real life. He was beyond honest. Timothée Chalamet is one of the best actors of 2017. He never seemed cheesy or fake. This mother fucker will be star. He was also in Lady Bird

Also here is he ass. You were wondering so stop being a bitch and just ask. Here it is.

D. Armie Hammer was amazing as Oliver. Cool, honest and real as it’s ever going to get.  He was also in The Social NetworkGossip GirlThe Lone RangerNocturnal Animals

E. Your classic “Hey what’s that in your pants?” move. 

F. The music in the film was amazing and stays with you for days. This song is perfect by Sufjan Stevens.

This was the sort of theme for the movie. It was fitting and great.

G. What’s interesting about this film is that in a lot of LGBTQ movies there is always some tragedy. Like horrible parents, or getting gay bashed or HIV, or murder. Which is all true and does happen to the LGBTQ community all the time. Those stories are also important. It was just nice to see one story where it was just about 2 people in love and that was it. The world didn’t intervene to destroy them. No bad guys or villains. Just love that was it.

H.  Luca Guadagnino directed this. He is directed the remake of “Suspiria“. 

I. Blue.

“Better Watch Out” or “Fucked Up Christmas” – my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Better Watch Out“. Okay so it’s a Christmas horror movie. Are you ready? Some of you can’t handle that shit. I love horror Christmas movies.

Okay so I don’t want to give shit away, but here is the basics a 12-year-old parents are going out for the night during Christmas. His Babysitter Ashley is coming over to watch his ass even though he is told old for this shit. He has the hots for Ashley and is trying to hit on her, but scary shit starts to pop off. His best friend comes over and gets caught up in the mix. Shit hits the fan and I was screaming! Yes, I screamed out lately from Happiness! Now that’s all I am saying. No Spoilers!!!!!!

Okay this movie starting off with me rolling my eyes. Like we seen this shit before then shit got nuts. Then I started screaming! YESSSSSSSSSS! I really liked this movie. It’s fucked up Christmas fun! All three Actors did great. I was into all of them and they sold that shit! I said YES a lot! Yes, it’s cruel and violent, but it’s not really gory. So don’t wig out or do. If you love Horror and Christmas then you will have fun watching this shit. I watched then ordered it on Blu Ray the next day. I really hope they make sequel but I doubt they well it was so indie and was just ON DEMAND etc. It was like Home Alone and Funny Games rolled into one! If you don’t know what Funny Games is then you’re a fool find it now and watch it. If you are looking for a fucked up cruel ass Christmas Horror movie then you found it. I was waiting on it! Go watch it now! Also watch all the credits!!!!!

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Olivia DeJonge was great in this. You will remember her from the movie “The Visit“.

Here she is and Ed Oxenbould who are both in this movie and THE VISIT. 

B. I mean he was great in this and is my hero. Levi Miller will be a star one day. He was in Pan

C. Chris Peckover directed this I am curios to see what’s next. Undocumented

D. Ed Oxenbould was great in this shit too.  You will remember her from the movie “The Visit“. 

E. Virginia Madsen from Candyman is in this movie!

F. I love this line from the movie. YES!

G. I have been making violent Christmas shorts forever! I love it!

H. Other Christmas horror movies I like Silent Night, Deadly Night , Krampus , GremlinsBlack ChristmasBlack Christmas 1974. Go check these out too.

I. Cute ass Poster!

 

“The Disaster Artist” or “Best Friends Forever” my fuckin review

Here is my movie review for “The Disaster Artist“. Okay so this movie is about the shitty movie “The Room“. Which is really just a bad movie directed by Tommy Wiseau. People go see this movie at Midnight like The Rocky Horror Picture Show and make fun of it etc. I’m not into irony. So Whatever.

But back to this movie. Okay like I said this movie is about the making of that bad movie and how it came to be. I wasn’t sure what to expect honestly. James Franco plays Tommy and Dave Franco plays his best friend and co-star Greg. It really is story about 2 best friends who really love each other and go to Hollywood to try to become actors and that fails so they decide to make a movie of their own. The craziness of Tommy’s life and how Greg deals with him and the making of the movie. Then that turns out to be a fuckin bust, but becomes the way we know “The Room” today. 

Okay so I didn’t expect this movie to be as funny and emotional as it was. It really is the journey of 2 best friends just trying to do what they love, which is acting and making movies. The problem is they are not very good at or people just don’t understand their work. James Franco really sounds just like Tommy. I mean it’s crazy. Even at the end I was like wait is that James or Tommy. I love that James and Dave are both in this movie together too. It makes both the characters even more believable together. Even by the end of the film I was emotional when the audience at the screening didn’t get their movie and began laughing at it. As a filmmaker I have been there and that shit sucks. I have even have a best friend that makes films with me and I can relate to that. In the film shit does get real and sad, but at the same time it’s really funny, and well acted. I was entrained the entire fucking film. You will love the Franco family in this and there are some fun cameos too. Also the music they chose for the film is on point. I hope this one wins some awards for sure. It deserves them! Go see it, it turns out it’s one of my favorites of the year. James Franco really has made me laugh and gave it to me over the years. He deserves recognition.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. The soundtrack was great.  Corona “Rhythm of the Night” was in it.

B. James Franco did an amazing job. Give him awards.  He always does. We love you James! They showed his ass in this movie too. It was out of control.

C. UMMMMMM Sharon Stone showed up in this. FUCK YES!

D. Tommy had this Transformer in his car int the movie. I have the same Transfomer. This is a pic I took of mine. 

E. The real cast of the The Room.

F. Dave and James. National Treasures.

G. Headshot of James Franco as Tommy Wiseau

H. Wow wtf!