Here is my review for “Kingsman: The Golden Circle“. Okay I loved the first “Kingsman: The Secret Service” so I was excited to see this movie. Here is a link to my first review https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/kingsman-the-secret-service-or-a-chav-james-bond-my-fuckin-review/
Okay so this movie starts off and Eggsy (Taron Egerton) is a full-blown spy now with a girlfriend (The princess at the end of the first movie). He is doing cartwheels and hanging from cars and shit. This time there is a group of bad guys called The Golden Circle ran by Julianne Moore that want to legalize drugs by killing people with drugs. What nowwww? Anyway the Kingsman have to get help from The Statesman, who are American spies that make whisky. Now they are teamed up with Channing Tatum and Halle Berry and a lot of Booze. Then Elton John shows up for comic relief over and over again, and Eggsy has to finger some girl and cheat on his future wife so that he can save the world. Yes, this is real. It’s a lot. In the end robot dogs show up, more Elton John and more booze.
Okay so like I said I dug the first movie but this movie feels all over the place and there is a room full of stars that have nowhere to go. They are just standing around and bumping into each other with bad lines. Eggsy’s princess girlfriend should have been deleted. It’s just dumb and irritating. We get it people get married to dumb people. Then he fingers that girl and she is mad for an hour and then the wedding is still on. Like it really doesn’t matter? Huh? They even cut to Eggsy’s finger going inside the girl’s vagina in the movie. Ummmm What the fuck Haha.
I also honestly don’t know if they were pro drugs or anti drugs by the end of the film. Who the hell knows. I do know they were pro alcohol. There was booze everywhere. Tables, buildings, belt buckles, etc were designed after whisky products. Everything and everyone was drinking up Johnny. If you are a frat boy you will love this movie. Start a drinking game. Drink every time they drink or you see alcohol shit in it. I promise you will be dead or in the hospital 15 minutes into the movie. Meanwhile Elton John shows up for cameo joke. Then you are like okay whatever that’s cute. Then 10 times later I am like seriously. This shit ain’t funny. Also his dialogue was “fuck you” (sounds like my films, fuck you too). We get it you’re a bitch I guess, that somehow can fight like you are in the Matrix. Gross. Anyway yes I was disappointed in this movie and the more I think about it the more I dislike it. It was like a disorganized spy movie made by an 18-year-old frat boy who was drunk. So skip or wait for Netflix.
A. I do think Taron Egerton is cool in stuff. In this one he doesn’t seem as at ease as the first one, but whatever.
B. If you are an alcoholic skip this movie. It is a non-stop booze ad. Honestly weirdly a lot.
Drink it up at Comic Con.
They are going to release the Bourbon from the film too.
C. Julianne Moore even felt out-of-place in this movie.
D. The whole character of Eggy’s character (Hanna Alström) should have been deleted. It was a waste of time. Kill her.
E. Don’t tell me I have to sit through Elton John cursing people out every five minutes then having him flying through the fucking air in fight scenes and winking at the camera. If this interests you, then this is the movie for you. I wanted to walk out.
F. Channing Tatum aka Tequila was a waste of time too. He should have been in it more. He was wasted. There was a shot of him on the table and his bulge was huge I don’t know if this was real or supposed to be a joke?