“The Babysitter” or “The Best Babysitter Ever” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “The Babysitter“.  Okay this is a McG movie but before you turn into a bitch about it. I love “Charlie’s Angels” and “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle“. Fuck everyone! They are fun rollercoaster films. You just ride them and laugh and do not over analyze the wood. Okay so the Babysitter starts off with a boy named Cole who is too old to have a babysitter, because he is still scared and shit. His babysitter, Bee, is cool and hot. They are also really best friends when they hang out and have a great time. She is the best babysitters ever. Until he stays up passed his bedtime and he finds out she is fuckin with Satanic Sacrifices in the living room with her friends. Now Cole is trying to survive but in a smart ass way until the end. Will he live? Will he join her? Will you find out why that dude has his shirt off?

Okay this movie is fun and funny as fuck! I love everyone in this movie. Cole and Bee are like a best friend duo you want to see in 10 films. They really do a great job setting them up as not just baby and babysitter but also friends as well. When shit derails you can tell they are still friends but have to deal with the cards on the table. They don’t all of sudden hate each other. They never make Cole seem like a dumb kid or Bee like a mega evil bitch. Just shit they both gotta deal with to survive. Even in the end shit has to go the way it does. Honestly say what you want about director McG, but he has fun as a director. The rest of the cast is over-the-top and fun and you will love them too. The music in the film is great also and they picked the right composer. Honestly this movie was so much fun to watch and I can’t wait to watch it again. There is a new trend in Horror movies this year with weirdly happy/fun plots but graphic/multiple death scenes. Almost like positive horror movies. I have heard it called “Millennial Horror” I hate that name. I’m into it the films though. Like this film or “Happy Death Day” or Tragedy Girls“.  Feel good horror movies with a violent twist. You can watch this on Netflix right now and you should.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Judah Lewis played Cole and he was great. He will be in a bunch of shit from here on out. He sold that shit. 

B. They played Peaches. So yes.

C. Samara Weaving was fun and cool as Bee. 

D. McG directed this movie he also did Charlie’s Angels and Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. I loved both those movies fuck you!

E. Their friendship was a lot of fun. You wished you had it. They were a cool duo.

F. This cast was great.

G. Douglas Pipes composed the score. It was a hoot too bitch. He also composed Trick ‘r TreatKrampusMonster House. So fun shit!

H. We made some Satanic comedies in 2010. Here are the links. They are pretty great!

I. This poster is fuckin great.

“Kingsman: The Golden Circle” or “Kingsmess: Golden Character Collision of Alcoholism” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Kingsman: The Golden Circle“. Okay I loved  the first “Kingsman: The Secret Service” so I was excited to see this movie. Here is a link to my first review https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/kingsman-the-secret-service-or-a-chav-james-bond-my-fuckin-review/

Okay so this movie starts off and Eggsy (Taron Egerton) is a full-blown spy now with a girlfriend (The princess at the end of the first movie). He is doing cartwheels and hanging from cars and shit. This time there is a group of bad guys called The Golden Circle ran by Julianne Moore that want to legalize drugs by killing people with drugs. What nowwww? Anyway the Kingsman have to get help from The Statesman, who are American spies that make whisky. Now they are teamed up with Channing Tatum and Halle Berry and a lot of Booze. Then Elton John shows up for comic relief over and over again, and Eggsy has to finger some girl and cheat on his future wife so that he can save the world. Yes, this is real. It’s a lot. In the end robot dogs show up, more Elton John and more booze. 

Okay so like I said I dug the first movie but this movie feels all over the place and there is a room full of stars that have nowhere to go. They are just standing around and bumping into each other with bad lines. Eggsy’s princess girlfriend should have been deleted. It’s just dumb and irritating. We get it people get married to dumb people. Then he fingers that girl and she is mad for an hour and then the wedding is still on. Like it really doesn’t matter? Huh? They even cut to Eggsy’s finger going inside the girl’s vagina in the movie. Ummmm What the fuck Haha.

I also honestly don’t know if they were pro drugs or anti drugs by the end of the film. Who the hell knows. I do know they were pro alcohol. There was booze everywhere. Tables, buildings, belt buckles, etc were designed after whisky products. Everything and everyone was drinking up Johnny. If you are a frat boy you will love this movie. Start a drinking game. Drink every time they drink or you see alcohol shit in it. I promise you will be dead or in the hospital 15 minutes into the movie. Meanwhile Elton John shows up for cameo joke. Then you are like okay whatever that’s cute. Then 10 times later I am like seriously. This shit ain’t funny. Also his dialogue was “fuck you” (sounds like my films, fuck you too). We get it you’re a bitch I guess, that somehow can fight like you are in the Matrix. Gross. Anyway yes I was disappointed in this movie and the more I think about it the more I dislike it. It was like a disorganized spy movie made by an 18-year-old frat boy who was drunk. So skip or wait for Netflix.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. I do think Taron Egerton is cool in stuff. In this one he doesn’t seem as at ease as the first one, but whatever.

B. If you are an alcoholic skip this movie. It is a non-stop booze ad. Honestly weirdly a lot.

Drink it up at Comic Con.

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-comic-con-2017-watch-halle-berry-kingsman-1500580488-htmlstory.html

They are going to release the Bourbon from the film too.

http://screencrush.com/kingsman-golden-circle-bourbon-featurette/

C. Julianne Moore even felt out-of-place in this movie. 

D. The whole character of Eggy’s character (Hanna Alström) should have been deleted. It was a waste of time. Kill her. 

E. Don’t tell me I have to sit through Elton John cursing people out every five minutes then having him flying through the fucking air in fight scenes and winking at the camera. If this interests you, then this is the movie for you. I wanted to walk out.

F. Channing Tatum aka Tequila was a waste of time too. He should have been in it more. He was wasted. There was a shot of him on the table and his bulge was huge I don’t know if this was real or supposed to be a joke?

G. Stars, Stars everywhere and plenty of booze to drink.