“The Disaster Artist” or “Best Friends Forever” my fuckin review

Here is my movie review for “The Disaster Artist“. Okay so this movie is about the shitty movie “The Room“. Which is really just a bad movie directed by Tommy Wiseau. People go see this movie at Midnight like The Rocky Horror Picture Show and make fun of it etc. I’m not into irony. So Whatever.

But back to this movie. Okay like I said this movie is about the making of that bad movie and how it came to be. I wasn’t sure what to expect honestly. James Franco plays Tommy and Dave Franco plays his best friend and co-star Greg. It really is story about 2 best friends who really love each other and go to Hollywood to try to become actors and that fails so they decide to make a movie of their own. The craziness of Tommy’s life and how Greg deals with him and the making of the movie. Then that turns out to be a fuckin bust, but becomes the way we know “The Room” today. 

Okay so I didn’t expect this movie to be as funny and emotional as it was. It really is the journey of 2 best friends just trying to do what they love, which is acting and making movies. The problem is they are not very good at or people just don’t understand their work. James Franco really sounds just like Tommy. I mean it’s crazy. Even at the end I was like wait is that James or Tommy. I love that James and Dave are both in this movie together too. It makes both the characters even more believable together. Even by the end of the film I was emotional when the audience at the screening didn’t get their movie and began laughing at it. As a filmmaker I have been there and that shit sucks. I have even have a best friend that makes films with me and I can relate to that. In the film shit does get real and sad, but at the same time it’s really funny, and well acted. I was entrained the entire fucking film. You will love the Franco family in this and there are some fun cameos too. Also the music they chose for the film is on point. I hope this one wins some awards for sure. It deserves them! Go see it, it turns out it’s one of my favorites of the year. James Franco really has made me laugh and gave it to me over the years. He deserves recognition.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. The soundtrack was great.  Corona “Rhythm of the Night” was in it.

B. James Franco did an amazing job. Give him awards.  He always does. We love you James! They showed his ass in this movie too. It was out of control.

C. UMMMMMM Sharon Stone showed up in this. FUCK YES!

D. Tommy had this Transformer in his car int the movie. I have the same Transfomer. This is a pic I took of mine. 

E. The real cast of the The Room.

F. Dave and James. National Treasures.

G. Headshot of James Franco as Tommy Wiseau

H. Wow wtf!

My Favorite Songs of 2017!

Here are my 10 favorite jams of 2017. It may be all over the place but really these songs made me happy so fuck it. I don’t owe this world a thing.

  1. Chillin’ like a Villain! I love this cheesy ass disney song!

2. BTS! This song is great!

3. This song is POP. The video is cool too.

4. Run the Jewels! I love this songs and it was in the Black Panther trailer too!

 

5. This song is happy and fun.

6. This song is sad but real.

7. I love this Bieber jam!

8. This score to Blade Runner 2049 is really amazing. Listen to one of my favorite tracks.

9. Harry with a cool sad track.

10. All the songs in Lego Batman are amazing. I love this one though.

11. I love this song but only on SNL!

12. Get Humble.

13. This piece of score in Wonder Woman is amazing.

14. Halloween by Trent

15. I am dead over these songs. HAHA

“Star Wars: The Last Jedi” or “Star Boner: I Am Overwhelmed” my fuckin review

 

SPOILERS! Go see the movie first and be shocked and surprised and overwhelmed like me!

Here is my review for “Star Wars: The Last Jedi“. Everyone on Earth is excited about this movie including my ass. I can’t believe we didn’t know any spoilers watching it! Okay so they pick up where they left off with Rey on that Jedi island infested with Porgs. General Leia, Poe and a passed out Finn are trying to evacuate that resistance base but the First Order is popping off. Kylo is having personal issues about his wardrobe with Supreme Leader Snoke. Shit is already out of control in this film. Luke is all fuck the Jedis and fuck Kylo and Rey too. Poe is not listening to orders and is getting people killed. Kylo is like fuck Snoke. Chewbacca is just trying to eat Porgs and ends up being a Vegetarian! Later Finn splits with a new character named Rose, and Poe is still not listening to orders when Laura Dern takes over. He is hot-headed and is just not wanted to hear women at all in 2017. He also wants to be in charge etc. Finn and Rose head to the rich people planet and raise hell with some giant reindeer and we learn that the assholes are selling weapons to the bad guys and the good! Good and bad are relative! WTF! In a Star Wars movie. I am now interested! Cut to Luke still pissy and we realize that Luke is a person with flaws and has made mistakes. YES! He fucked up. Now Rey is talking to a shirtless Kylo via Jedi mind calls. YES! WTF!  So she is like take me to this fucker Chewbacca. Now back to Finn and Poe’s plan, and blowing some shit up on Snoke’s ship. Laura Dern has another plan but Poe is like fuck you bitch I don’t care. They are all running around trying to figure that mess out while Rey and Kylo are hanging out with Snoke in his gold bath robe. They have a fight and some nutty shit happens and HOLY SHIT! They say who Rey’s parents are. They literally give you the best answer that could have ever been said. Her parents were drunks and whores. I’m dead. I fell in the floor. Call an ambulance. Now cut to Finn and Poe’s big ass plan not working. It’s a bust. WTF! This movie is too real. A giant plan not playing out????? This is real as fuck to me. Your plan is shit! Laura Dern was right. In the end a showdown with Luke and Kylo and some more crazy shit happens. My mind is blown. I’m overwhelmed. What just happened. I got emotional. 

Okay I had to see this movie twice just to write this fuckin review. I am floored. It was like 2 movies in one. They said fuck your check list of movies and a trilogy. Fuck rules and the bullshit we know. I was genuinely shocked by so much. Honestly I am impressed with any filmmaker who can shock me and keep me guessing about things. We have seen so much and know so much now. He really did give it to me. Honestly the characters really do seem like real people now. I like Kylo in this movie now, before he was just a brat. What he said was great about fuck everything from the past and burn it down. Fuck the Jedi and Siths etc. It was what the film was doing. Let go on and move forward. We have seen 6 movies about these Skywalker bitches. There is a whole universe out there of cool space shit. What was also cool about it was all the subtext going on. Multiple women in charge, and men not wanting to listen and fucking shit up. I have heard arguments about if Laura Dern would have just told Poe (one of many pilots) her plans then he wouldn’t have run off, but WTF he had just not listened to Leia and got demoted. He also made a plan of his own and didn’t tell Laura Dern about it either. Plus its military shit and Laura Dern doesn’t have to tell everyone her plans. She is in charge. My boss doesn’t tell everyone his plans. You just find out as you go along. Also the thing about the weapons being sold to the bad and the good. The city of Canto Bight full of rich assholes mistreating kids and animals and shit. Instead of like a Jabba the Hutt look. The real creeps are rich dicks etc. Rey’s parents being drunks, it’s great for kids in the audience with shitty lives. They don’t have to let their pasts control their lives. They can grow up to be “Jedis” or whatever too. How Luke Skywalker has been a hero in these films but also one in reality all this time and now we are told he is also just a man who made mistakes. Benicio Del Toro‘s character being neither good nor bad, but just trying to save his own ass and splitting. People really think he is going to help Finn and he doesn’t. He is like fuck you. Amazing. Even the little homeless boy at the end with a Jedi broom. There are so many of those real moments and cool surprises to think about and pay attention to. More than the other films ever had. I never got emotional in a Star Wars movie before, I was in this one.

The acting in this movie was a lot better than the last film for sure. Luke and Leia were great and they gave it to you. Kylo was the best in this film. You even sided with what he was saying. Rey felt more natural this time for sure. Finn and Rose made sense together and were fun. Laura Dern is legend. It really is amazing that this movie is even made. The score by John Williams is pretty standard at this point for Williams, but it’s Star Wars and it fits. There is one track that stood out and that one was great. I put it below. Also I really enjoyed the smart ass jokes in it. It reminded me of “Empire Strikes Back”. Yoda was funny in that movie and this movie. I thought shit, if I was in a Star Wars movie I would be making all kinds of jokes. This movie really gave you a lot of crazy shit and I’m glad. I’m glad they surprised me. I’m glad I don’t know what is coming in part 3. I’m glad the director pissed old Star Wars fans off. That means he did something right. He shook shit up. He made shit interesting again. Fuck everyone!

The trailer:

The Facts:

A. Rian Johnson directed this movie. He also did Brick , Looper , and the next Untitled Star Wars Trilogy: Episode I . I think he is good director I am excited to see what that new trilogy will look like. He really gave you shit to think about and threw the movie action check list in the trash.

B. Many Bothans died to bring us this photo from the theater of Kylo shirtless. Adam Driver gave it to you in this movie. He became a likable villain in this movie. When he says “The Empire, your parents, the Resistance, the Sith, the Jedi… let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you are meant to be.” I swear Oprah said the same shit but about racist and homophobes and sexists. 

C. Carrie Fisher is a legend and will live on forever as such. She is great in this movie and I love that she is in charge and basically all the women are. I love how Poe doesn’t listen to her or Laura Dern at first then he realizes they were right and to chill and Finn doesn’t listen and Poe tells him to chill in the end. Real as fuck. Woman are making all the right decisions in this film and men are fuckin up shit. Much like in reality lately. Maybe when fans say “This is not my Star Wars” this is what they are really saying. Because they are pissed and they are dudes. Love it or hate it. I am glad they are making these movies again. 

D. Mark Hamill is great as always, and gave you real shit this time. He is a flawed hero. A broken Hero. That’s a real Hero. I heard that he is acting weird now that fans are on the fence about this movie talking about he didn’t like all things they did with his character. Well I can tell you one thing he took that paycheck and cashed that shit and didn’t bitch. Also years ago before these films he said he he told George Lucas he wanted to go evil. Which is a good idea. So they kind of listened to him. Plus they said it was really George’s idea to go that island and be isolated and not train Jedis anymore. So honestly he full of shit really. He needs to support and back the film he is in and support the great work he just did. If I was his cast members etc I would be pissed at him. 

Here is Mark talking about wanting to Luke to go bad to JJ way back before JJ got the Star Wars movie. Now he is saying different shit cuz fans are starting shit. Womp Womp.

Here is now saying I don’t like the way Luke is in the movie etc.

http://www.darkhorizons.com/hamill-says-hes-not-my-luke-skywalker/

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E. Here is the best song on the score by John Williams

F. Get me a Porg! I’m hungry.

G. Laura Dern you are the real deal! The scene between her and Carrie Fisher is amazing. Go save the Jurassic Park movies. Strong women in these kinds of movies are needed because literally everyone on Earth will see this movie. It matters. 

H. OMG I love this new character. UBBLA MOLLBRO! She is in the Canto Bight scene I want a figure.

I. Frank Oz WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! Yoda is supposed to be old and funny and crazy. 

J. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was in this movie too as Slowen Lo. YES!

K. People are pissed about who Snoke is in the film? But who the fuck is the Emperor in Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back and Return of The Jedi? Just using the knowledge of those 3 films. He is just some old ass bad dude who trained Darth Vader. I feel like the focus was Darth and Luke, and the new focus is Kylo and Rey.

L. I am not sure why dudes are so angry at this movie. I really enjoyed it a lot and people are saying shit like not my Star Wars etc. Maybe I am not a true fan, or maybe I am real fan because I really do love Star Wars and the fun that world has to offer. I buy the toys, and the movies, and the soundtracks. I want new fun characters in the films I watch. I don’t want the same plots over and over again. People say they hated “Force Awakens” because it was just like a “New Hope”, well they gave you something different and you hated that more. So that means they will just keep making the same crap over and over again. You are the problem with Hollywood. You are why there are remakes and reboots. You are why they keep making the same shit over and over again. That’s what you want to happen. When shit comes out of left field you are pissed and angry and start petitions and shit. Are you kidding me? I am floored. I know this is a weird example but when they made “Halloween 3” they made something different and cool and people were pissed. They just wanted Michael Myers running around again. The same movie over and over again. When I hear someone say Hollywood makes the same movies over and over again and has no good ideas. I will ask do you like the Last Jedi? When they say no. I will say “Fuck off and die”. Haha

M. You want to know something dumb that nobody bitched about. E.T. is in “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace“. So that is CANON! So that means the movie “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial” is a part of Star Wars. E.T. even recognizes Yoda in his movie. E.T. has Jedi powers too. He can heal shit, float bikes, fly, read minds, etc. So that means Gertie (Drew Barrymore) is one step away from YODA and is apart of the Star Wars Universe.

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M. I love all the red!

“Girls Trip” or “The Funniest Movie of 2017”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Girls Trip“. Okay so 4 best friends that used to party and shit, grow apart and grow up decide to get back together and take a trip to New Orleans. Shit hits the fan when they realize they are not the same girls they used to be, and they have new issues to deal with but they also realize they have some old ones too. Can they still come out of this trip being best friends and relive their party days? Will you laugh your ass off???

OH MY FUCKIN GOD! This movie is the funniest shit I have seen all year! They all had me laughing from the get go. Regina Hall is amazing and funny in everything she does. She can give you the laughs and the seriousness all in one scene. We all love her for life! She can do no wrong. Jada is great and funny in this movie and honestly we forget we even liked her because she is always taking weird ass roles, but this is why we like her and she is funny and real. Queen Latifah is the best as always and you want to hang out with her in this movie. Let’s stop everything for Tiffany Haddish! She is amazing! She is truly funny! Giver her an Oscar for comedy. I will watch all she is in from now on. She gave it to you. She has the funny gene! This movie really is fun and funny to watch. You believe that they are friends and you will wish you were friends with them all too. I just hope they make a part 2. I honestly rented this on Demand, then bought it on Blu Ray the next week. I loved it and it really is the funniest movie this year. Go watch it now and laugh. Yes, it’s raunchy and trashy but so am so I could relate to something for a fucking change! Thank you!

The trailer:

The Facts:

A. Regina Hall is comedy gold and untouchable for life. She was in all the “Scary Movie” films . She can do no wrong! We love her and always will! She really is great in this movie too!

B. Tiffany Haddish you are a star! You are the funniest person on film in 2017! You win! You are the real deal! I will see all that you are in from now on!

C. Jada Pinkett Smith honestly we forgot we like you. You have been doing serious roles for so long and they were too much. We miss your “Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight” days! This is the Jada we know and love!

D. Queen Latifah nobody can ever touch the QUEEN! You are legacy! 

E. You will laugh all through this and love all these characters. Make a part 2 today! Go watch it and laugh!

F. Malcolm D. Lee directed this. He did Scary Movie 5 The Best Man Holiday Barbershop: The Next Cut

G. This poster gave it to you.

 

 

“Beach Rats” or “Get Your Dick Sucked On The Beach” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Beach Rats“. Okay the film starts off with this dude named Frankie and he is looking at Nude Live Chat guys online. He wants to see their dicks etc. The next day he is hanging with his strait pals. Nobody knows he is gay, he doesn’t either. He is trying to hide it but wants the dick. He meets this girl and they hang out and try to have sex but he can’t get it up. Somehow they keep going out. He basically tries to balance his straight life with sucking dick in the woods by the beach. It’s a sad life that he struggles with and does drug too to try to deal with it all.

Okay so I enjoyed this movie. It was not as sad as I thought it was going to be, but you did feel sad for him. You just wanted him to be happy and be himself. Is there a plot/story not really. It’s just this guys life on Coney Island, with lights, colors, shadows, dicks, sadness. Him not even not knowing what the word “Gay” even really means.  Frankie just dealing with trying to understand why he is attracted to guys and pretending it’s not real. Looking chat rooms instead of Grindr because someone his own age might find him out. It really is a beautifully shot film and you will feel like you stepped into this guys life for a short time. You may even like you sucked a dick. Haha Anyway check this film out and learn what it’s like to feel trapped in a secret life and not be yourself daily.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Harris Dickinson played Frankie and he was great. He was quiet and honest. 

B. At one point he mocks his girlfriend by asking her “Do you think I’m pretty?”. It’s like he invisible to the world, like he can’t see himself or refuses to because if he does then he will realize he is gay. Sad as fuck.

C. Directed by Eliza Hittman (It Felt Like Love). I can’t wait to see what’s next for her.

D. Madeline Weinstein plays his girlfriend. 



E. He is a great interview with Harris Dickinson about his role. 

“My idea of romance is tailor-made pleasure.”: Harris Dickinson on being sexy but not romanti…

F. His straight pals.

G. 2 posters. Both are shirtless.

“Coco” or “Mommy Death Looks So Fun!” – my fuckin review

My review for “Coco“. Okay so this movie starts off with a boy named Miguel and he wants to be a musician but everyone in his family hates music and forbids him to play that shit. Like Footloose but with music instead of Dance. He finds out that his great-grandfather, Ernesto de la Cruz, was a great singer and also a bastard and left the family to become the Mexican Elvis. Now it’s Dia de los Muertos aka the Day of the Dead. Where you celebrate dead relatives and friends. While trying to steal his great grandfather’s guitar he dies and is transported to the land of the dead. I am not sure if this is heaven or hell or purgatory. There he hangs out with dead family members and figures out his talents as a musician and the importance of family. Then he learns about DEATH!

Okay so this movie is a good time. It’s 2017 and even the cartoons want to die! The music is great and the characters are fun and it’s about Dia de los Metros and that is funnnnn! You learn a lot of the things you didn’t know about that day also. The animation is nuts but you knew that going in. There are more surprises in this film than you think and that was cool too. It got a little slow in the middle but the twists turned that shit around. Go check this movie out and be happy and sad, and even learn some shit. It’s the best Pixar movie in years!

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Anthony Gonzalez plays Miguel and he was great! I bought a stuffed doll already!

B. Gael García Bernal plays Hector his friend on the other side. It’s good to dead friends on the other side. 

C. Here is Coco. She looks real as fuck.

D. Here is Anthony Gonzalez scaring the shit out of Disney guests. 

Here is the best song in the movie.

E. Remember to put up pics of dead people you want to see come visit you on Nov. 1st.

F. Michael Giacchino composed the score. He is brilliant as usual.

G. There was another animated movie about the Day of the Dead called The Book of Life but Channing TatumRon Perlman Christina Applegate and Ice Cube did voices for a movie about Dia de los Muertos you piece it together. Go see COCO!

H. They should have sung Selena at the end then I would have bust out crying.

I. Colorful as fuck!

 

“My Friend Dahmer” or “Dahmer High” – my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Ross Lynch“. Can you feel sorry for the devil? That’s the big question this movie is asking your ass. Okay so this is the story of serial killer Jeffery Dahmer before he starting killing. Which was while he was in High School and he had a couple of friends. What his family and life was like and what he did and went through. What he was like dealing with the need to kill and also being gay. How his friends saw him and his alcoholism. Until the day he began killing men right after he graduated. So get ready for bizarre tale.

Okay this film really is interesting, you really only hear about his life when he starting killing people and that’s it. It’s interesting to see where he came from and what turned him into this “devil”. There is a lot of stuff you just didn’t know about him. At times you even feel sorry for him, then you get to the end and remember, oh shit he killed 17 dudes. Then you are like goddamnnnnn. It’s all fucked up. What’s also creepy/cool is that they filmed in his real house that he grew up in. It still looks the exact same. Ross Lynch who plays Jeff really did a great job, not playing him scary or weird, but just playing him. Let the viewer find what creeps them out etc. He is a human, even if he is fucked up. You can learn from this cat and so that you know the 20 others that are like him coming your way in the future. Don’t forget Anne Heche is in this and plays his crazy ass mom. She is great and Anne really fun to watch in shit. Okay check this movie out if you want to see real life horror. This was one interesting and fucked up high school drama. Honestly I wish this was a 10 episode Netflix series dealing with his whole life. Ross was that good in it and it was that interesting. 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Ross Lynch plays Jeff Dahmer and he was great. That hair needs an Oscar too. Drop Ross in other cool roles. 


B. The real Jeff.

C. It was filmed in Jeffery Dahmer’s actual childhood home in Bath, Ohio.

D. His doctor was Vincent Kartheiser from MR. ROBOT. He felt his balls during a check up and Jeff got a boner. Haha that was a lot. 

E. Anne Heche was nuts in this, but great. 

F. Here is the comic book his friend wrote about him. https://www.amazon.com/My-Friend-Dahmer-Derf-Backderf/dp/1419702173

G. Here is Ross in Disney’s “Teen Beach Movie“.

H. The poster is cute.