“Creed 2” or “The Dragos are Back” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Creed II“. Okay I loved the first Creed movie and the Rocky movies are great. Creed is back and he is still hanging with Rocky and his girlfriend Tessa Thompson. They are chilling and happy until Drago from Rocky 4 shows back up with his son. His son wants to fight Creed but Creed is like you killed my fuckin dad etc. Rocky is pissed too. So they get into with Drago and his son, with a few surprises.

Listen I like the Rocky movies and the Creed movies. They feel honest and real, sad and happy. I am not even into sports or boxing or whatever. It doesn’t matter. It feels like life and real conversations. Michael B. Jordan is great in these movies and you always believe what he is selling. He looks like he is beating ass and getting his ass beat too. Tessa Thompson really is a star now, and a star in this movie. She is a real as it’s going to get. Sylvester Stallone really makes you feel sad for him and his life. Even moments with his son are sad as hell. I really hope they make Creed 3 with Mr. T. I realized Rocky may be like 70 but he could still knock me through a goddamn wall. I love that Drago and his son are back and pissed and also sad about their own lives in Russia. I buy it all. You really feel like these characters are growing and learning shit. Even bad guys have their reasons and maybe aren’t that bad after all. It was great to see Dolph Lundgren in this role again. Bring his ass back for part 3.  If you love the Rocky movies and you will love this movie. Go check it out and Watch Creed 1 also.

The Trailer:


The Facts:

A. Michael B. Jordan really is a star. He can act and he is charismatic.

B. Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa is still good after all these films. He knows how to sell it subtly. I hope he makes more of them and I want to see the next Rambo movie.

D. Tessa Thompson has blown up all over the place. I love her in everything!

E. Phylicia Rashad is a hero to us all. I love her in these movies. I just wish her part was even bigger.

F. Dolph Lundgren is back and he is good in it. He is also in Aquaman this year. His storyline was interesting for sure.

G. Milo Ventimiglia played Rocky’s son in “Rocky Balboa” part 6. He is great in that and in this. I wish his part was bigger though.

H. Bring back Mr. T I hope they bring his ass back for Creed 3! Pleasssseee!

I. Muscle poster

 

 

“The Predator” or “Eat My Pussy Predator” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “The Predator“. Okay the original “Predator” movie is amazing. It’s like the tank of action films. Crazy masculine shots of dudes with muscles and shit. It’s crazy. The score is brilliant also. So this new movie is a sequel, so the previous films happened etc. It starts off with this sniper named Quinn McKenna. He is on some mission in the jungle and watches a predator ship crash, then he steals that predator’s helmet and arm weapon, and mails it to his son back in the states. So he would have proof of seeing an alien. This movie is already crazy at this point and you are like okay this shit is nuts. Quinn gets in trouble with the government because he saw the alien. Now he is thrown on a bus with people who are “Crazy” but really they are just unstable and bros. The “crazy” team eventually joins forces with a scientist and a weapons expert played by Olivia Munn. They discuss eating each other pussies for a little while. Now they are running around trying to find the predator and also Quinn’s son who is wearing the Predator mask for Halloween. You in the audience are like this movie is all over the place! Anyway more shit happens and there is a big mutant Predator and Predator dogs. It really is all over the place. In the end we learn that Autism is just an evolutionary jump.

Okay so this movie is literally nuts. The editing is choppy as fuck. Some things do not make any sense, which I think is because of the editing. The characters all walked out of an 80’s action movie. Ya know I am bad ass, and I am evil. Why? Who knows. Olivia Munn just shows up and is a scientist but can also fight and shoot all kinds of weapons. Quinn is a sniper who really is just a bad parent and murderer. He has lines like I will kill you if you bump into me again. Well who wants to know this person? Do you? He will kill you. He needs to be in jail. He also murderers all these military people. Umm you are in the military too. Yes, I get it he is a tough guy character from the 80’s, but have we gotten over this type of character? There is also a character with Tourette’s, but laughing at someone who curses a lot and can’t control it. That’s an old joke that is played. Why not just have someone just curse a lot. Ya know, like most people. Then someone told me the director Shane Black has Tourette’s. So I don’t know. The predator is cool but in the end doesn’t really make sense. He is here to help humanity, but kills so many humans to help them. HAHA There are just so many weird ass moments that do not make sense, it looks like things were chopped out of it while editing. There is a weird ass scene where they talk about “Eating my pussy”. It’s like wtf haha. Then you are pissed because the kid or the Predator doesn’t say it to someone later. Now that would be funny. That all being said, yes, it is fun to watch and honestly non-stop action. You may be confused watching it and roll your eyes at certain characters but you will not be bored. It is a thrill ride for sure. I can see they were trying to make something fun and over-the-top, it gets lost in itself at times. I would not rush out to see it, but when you watch it you will have fun watching it.

 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Boyd Holbrook was okay in it. He is like a super tough guy that says super tough lines like “if you touch me again I will kill you”. Do these people really exist. It’s like you are in the military and the guy guarding you is in the military. You murdered that dude.

He used to be a model. I wish that was the plot. This model finds a predator mask and wears it on the runway for fashion week. Then the predator shows up and he and his other model friends have to stop it.

B. Olivia Munn I know her name but I have not seen her in anything else. She plays a smart/tough character but she has to get naked so that the audience knows the predator will not harm people naked and afraid. Also She tries to get a blood sample from a dead predator and the guys are telling her to shut the fuck up etc. That was dumb.

C. Shane Black directed this movie and he also wrote it with Fred Dekker they also made the movie “The Monster Squad“. Which I love.

D. Jacob Tremblay has Autism in the film. These kids are making fun of him called him Aspergers. Like Ass Burger. You can tell an adult wrote this joke for the kids to say. Do kids know what Aspergers is? Anyway the kid is the smartest person in the movie. So there is a message somewhere. Another character has Tourette’s Syndrome. This seems like an 80’s joke. Like we need someone in the film to curse a lot. Why not just have someone curse a lot and not have Tourette’s. I curse a lot. Then someone told me the director Shane Black has Tourette’s.

 

E. Henry Jackman composed the score. It’s a throwback to the original score. So you like it by default. Here is a sample.

F. Fuckkkkkk, Arnold was supposed to be in it.  The original ending was this……

McKenna, his son, Rory (Jacob Tremblay) and Casey Bracket (Olivia Munn) have all just survived the final attack of the Super Predator (referred to as “The Upgrade” in the script) when a helicopter lands. Out climbs…Dutch Schaeffer (Arnold Schwarzenegger), his “face haunted; etched by pain.” Dutch tells the trio to come with him, and when Rory asks, “Uh…me, too?”, the franchise’s second-most iconic badass smiles and says “Especially you.”

Cut to black.

Arnold said this about being asked to be in it.

“They asked me, and I read it, and I didn’t like it — whatever they offered. So I’m not going to do that, no. Except if there’s a chance that they rewrite it, or make it a more significant role. But the way it is now, no, I won’t do that.”

Arnold should have showed up and shot the Predator at the end and said “Eat My Pussy Predator”. I would have died.

G. Jake Busey plays Gary Busey’s kid in the movie. Gary was in Predator 2.

H. I liked the spaceships flying around and it takes place during Halloween. I wish they had went to Predator world. They also say “Shut the fuck up” a lot. I was like true.

I. I have enjoyed all of the Predator movies. Some have been better than others though.

J. Cute

“The Nun” or “Hell to the Nun” my fucking review

Here is my review for “he Nun“. Okay so this is a spin off from “The Conjuring 2“. Which I loved. The nun was creepy and fun in that movie etc. This new film starts off with scenes from ”The Conjuring 2‘ then it goes back in time to the 1950’s. It takes place in a Nun Castle where the evil nun lives. I’m not sure why she is there. The evil nun is killing other nuns and now this boring Priest, a not nun (she is not a nun yet), and a hot dude from Canada all head to the nun castle to see what’s up. The hot Canadian is there for a “Love Interest” for the Not Nun. Which is weird. Are they going to bang or something. Wtf. She is a nun. Anyway they realize there is an evil nun doing crazy shit and decide to stay. All 3 characters are boring and poorly equipped to deal with this demon nun. They run around for an hour and the nun is coming out of the goddamn walls to get them. In the end we find out the hot dude is really French Canadian, the priest is not good at his job, and the not nun becomes a full nun and does a trick she learned from Jada Pinkett Smith from “Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight” (a fun movie watch it) to kill the evil nun. Well not kill because she is in the Conjuring 2 in the future.

Okay so this movie is just dumb. I love The Conjuring and The Conjuring 2. They both have an interesting story, and it’s based on reality. The Nun is made up. Annabelle 1 and 2 are made up. You can tell because they are dumb movies. The Nun has a basic horror storyline, ya know investigate an evil thing somewhere, stay cuz you dumb, then fight it and good wins. They only thing unique about it is that they are all wearing nun outfits. The cast is literally made up of 3 people and all 3 people are boring and forgettable. It takes place in 1950 but it feels like 1850. It’s weird. The dialogue is generic and weak. The score is silly. Did I hate the movie? No, but it’s like who cares though. Even in the ending there is a hell mouth to close, and that was 7 years of Buffy. The blood of Jesus trick they use in it is from Demon Knight. Maybe they love those movies, but we have seen those tricks ya know. I really didn’t expect much. I thought it would be like Annabelle. Bad, and it was. Director James Wan directed The Conjuring and Conjuring 2 and he didn’t direct this movie and you can tell. He really is a good director and this movie feels like a quick gimmick. You may say will this movie is different or it’s this or that. Well they keep harping on how these films being spin offs from the Conjuring universe, but they don’t feel like it. You set up the universe now don’t blame me when I tell you it doesn’t fit in the world you created. Sorry I will have nun of that shit. Anyway I guess watch it on Netflix and roll your eyes etc.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Taissa Farmiga was boring in this movie. Maybe she is boring in everything and I never paid attention enough.

B. Bonnie Aarons played the Nun in this movie and The Conjuring 2. Good for her though.

C. Directed by Corin Hardy (The HallowThe Prodigy: Warrior’s Dance).

His best work is this music video.

D. Jonas Bloquet (Elle) plays the French Canadian. The nun didn’t bang him. 

E. She hungry.

F. The music was composed by Abel Korzeniowski (Penny Dreadful) it was boring. Joseph Bishara composed The Conjuring, The Conjuring 2, Insidious and those scores are great and scary. Scores really do make the horror movie. If your score is weak so is your movie. 

Here is sample:

G. We made a Nun movie earlier this year. Check it out. It Makes more sense.

H. This poster is creepy.

“Incredibles 2” or “Elasta Girl is Really Incredible” my fucking review

Here is my review for “Incredibles 2“. The Incredibles are back! You have waited 50 years or whatever to the sequel and it’s here. It starts off right where the last one left off and this time Elasta Girl is going off on her own to solve crimes and fight bad guys while Daddy Incredible stays home and takes care of the kids. Edna is back too and helping the baby get some new clothes. In the end the entire family pops off and beats ass.

Okay so I loved it. It was fun and action packed. It really holds your attention the entire movie too. Plus the animation is a giant leap forward from the last film. Both these films have great dialogue and smart characters. This dialogue is better than most live action movies. It’s great how they focus on Elasta Girl and that she doesn’t have to stay home with the kids, but it’s also cool that Daddy Incredible learn to be strong at home too. The score was great by Michael Giacchino and he really does this movie wonders. I love Holly Hunter too, she is just great in anything she does. Even if it’s just her voice. Go see this movie in the theater for sure. You will love it. I can’t wait for a part 3 in like 10 years.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. This is a fun superhero movie. It’s more entertaining than most films out there now.

B. It was written and directed by Brad Bird (The Iron GiantThe IncrediblesRatatouilleMission: Impossible – Ghost ProtocolTomorrowland) and he does the voice for Edna Mode (E). His animated films are amazing. His lived action films not so much. 

C.  Holly Hunter is amazing in everything. Give here a lifetime achievement award now! Dat ass though.

D. Be these assholes for Halloween too!

E.Michael Giacchino is brilliant and this score is amazing. Listen here.

F. Gazerbeam forever.

G. Cute posters.