“Midsommar” or “Relationships Are Scary!”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Midsommar“. Ari is back! He made my favorite movie of 2018 “Hereditary“. Here is my review of that movie https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/06/12/hereditary-or-true-horror-is-family-my-fuckin-review/

Okay so just like Hereditary this movie starts off with more grief and sadness. Dani is a lady who is sad about her family shit, and her boyfriend Christian is over it. Will Poulter shows up and wants Christian to dump her before they go on a trip to Sweden with friends. Then Dani gets invited and they all head over to Sweden for this midsummar festival. Shit gets crazier and crazier when they all end of up in this fucked Pagan nightmare.

Listen this is not Hereditary, but did you want it to be? I didn’t. Give me something different and Ari did. He is definitely doing what he wants to in his movies. I do love that he uses grief or death themes to begin his stories. It’s interesting and this film gives it to you. You feel like it’s happening to you. It looks, sounds and feels real. I also love that in the end it’s a happy ending for the “Bad Guys” (just like in Hereditary), I say Bad Guys, but they really aren’t. From their perspective they are just living their lives and are happy, now granted they do and like fucked up shit. The truth of it is still there. This movie is really about American Interlopers/tress-passers. American ignorance and privilege etc. They come into a place thinking they are at the center of everything and that a people beliefs and ideals are silly. They realize they fucked up soon enough. Think The Texas Chain Saw Massacre at Coachella. Trespassers come into (home invasion) Leartherface’s crib and he is like WTF and the Trespassers don’t understand they eat people or whatever. This movie is a similar design and I love that.

Florence Pugh does a great job as Dani, because you dislike her at first then understand her later. She sells it hard. Jack Reynor is giving you dongs out for the summertime. There is a sex scene that is amazing and fucked up. You will laugh and be horrified. I have really grown to like Will Poulter in films, he is an interesting actor for sure. You really will have fun watching this movie. Yes, it’s funny at times too. Then shit gets gory and fucked up. It’s a bright horror movie. The sun is in your face and is like it’s own character in this movie! Is it super scary? No. Is it crazy and fucked up? Yes. I can’t wait to see his 3rd film. Go check it out it for sure.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Directed by Ari Aster (Hereditary) he is has done 2 films that I have loved and I am excited to see the next one.

Here is a short he made in 2011.

 

B. How I feel on Mondays.

C. Composed by The Haxan Cloak (The Enemy Within) and it’s interesting for sure. It’s a nice score, it feels hopeful but at the same time dreadful. I liked it.

D. Florence Pugh (Little Women) played Dani, and you loved, hated and then loved her again. She feels like a real character and somebody you know.

E. Will Poulter (Black Mirror: Bandersnatch The Maze Runner) was great in this. I have grown to love him in movies and he sells it.

F. Jack Reynor was great as the jerk friend/ boyfriend. His dong is out too. It’s the year of the dong. Here is an article with him talking about it. https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2476070/jack-reynor-advocated-for-midsommars-full-frontal-nude-scene

G. I love that in both his films they end with an uplifting happy song. It’s a happy ending for the “bad guys”.

H. This poster is great

 

 

“Slice” or “The Worst Movie of 2018” My fuckin review

Here is my review for “Slice“. Okay this is the latest movie from A24 Films. So we were all excited to see it. The film starts off with a town full of ghosts. They all work and own houses and order pizza and shit. Then murders start happening and pizzas are being delivered. It’s also supposed to be a comedy I think, but nothing was funny. Eventually Chance the Rapper shows up and is a werewolf with shitty makeup. In the end overacting witches show up and deliver shitty lines. It’s a mess.

Okay I have not wanted to walk out of a movie in years, but after 15 minutes I was like this is the worst movie I have seen on any platform in years. It’s stupid, the acting sucks, the score sucks, the plot sucks, and I hated it. I even suck for watching the whole thing. It just had cheesy and forced jokes non-stop. Eye rolled my eyes so much they got stuck. The ghosts walking around were dumb as fuck. The witches looked like they were ladies from a shitty improv class. Someone once told me “Just because you can, it does not mean you should do”. If you have the money to make a movie it doesn’t mean you should make one. Also this is an A24 Film and they have given us so much. People say “Well it’s A24, so it will be good”. That’s a false statement now. This is like some bootleg ass movie you would see at bad horror film fest. Listen, I make silly or crazy shit too. This is not it. It’s dumb and trash. Don’t watch it, or don’t believe me and watch it. Then say “It’s the worst movie of the year”.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Maybe Chance the Rapper signed up and didn’t know? Maybe he can’t act? Who knows, but he looked busted in that cheap THRILLER makeup.

B. Austin Vesely directed this trash. He directed Chance the Rapper Ft. Saba: Angels I hope he knows it sucked. 

C. I love Zazie Beetz(Deadpool 2, Atlanta, ) but she is terrible in this movie.

D. A24 Films have given us great horror movies. I guess they can’t all be zingers. This are great “The Blackcoat’s Daughter” “Green Room” “Witch” “It Follows”  “Under the Skin“ and “Hereditary“.

E. Listen we all love Joe Keery (Stranger Things) but he is an irrelevant character in this movie and thrown in because he was in Stranger Things I guess.

F. The characters were annoying and pointless. I don’t want to eat pizza again.

G. Whatever.