“Avengers: Endgame” or “The End Etc.” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Avengers: Endgame“.

GO SEE THE FUCKIN MOVIE FIRST! SPOILER ALERT! Listen, whether you will love it or hate it, just go see it. You have never seen a movie like this in theater before. A 20 movie build up to one film. So many stars in one fuckin movie. A movie you literally know nothing about, no footage or anything. It was a complete surprise. Okay mostly.

This time the Avengers, that are alive, are back. It’s been 5 years and they are sad as fuck. Ant-man shows back up and has an idea about time travel, so they get everybody back together and go back in time to get the glove stones. Craziness ensues and eventually Thanos finds out and comes to the future to fight everyone again. It’s literally everyone and their moms fighting. In the end we learn that time travel really can solve all your problems and that Captain America’s ass is “America’s Ass”.

Okay so this movie is big and feels big. Everyone is in it and it’s a lot. It’s a fun ride for sure and you will enjoy it, even if you have seen all the films. If you have not seen them, then you will be lost as fuck. It really is nuts and something to see. There are some great fight scenes at the end of the movie that will have you cheering. That being said the movie is really in the 3 parts. In the first part of the film everyone is dead and they are sad as fuck and missing them. The second part is, okay let’s find everyone and get them back together. The third part is everyone is back together fighting. Listen this movie is longgggg. So, the first 2 parts feel long as hell. You also really do miss Spiderman and Black Panther in this movie. You notice they are not in the scenes this time. Everyone knows by now what these movies are about and who is in them. Marvel has set these movies up to feel all connected and they are. It really is it’s on genre now. Once again, more people live, and more people die. Will you be sad? I don’t know, I feel like people die and come back all the time in these films so much who cares anymore. Just see it and I am sure you will be into it. It’s the biggest movie of all time or some shit so you should watch it. Will I buy it? Probably not. I would not repeat watch it probably.

 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. There is an action scene with all the women of Marvel popping off and it was fun to see. You are glad movies and the world are changing for the better, even if it’s slow as hell. I want to see an all female hero movie.

B. Chris Evans really plays this role well and you are interested. They made a joke about his ass and the audience agreed.

C. Pepper Potts is a lot. Hahaaha

D. Thor’s Big Lebowski character was cute for a minute, but they didn’t let it go. Maybe I am just not a fan of the Big Lebowski

E. Ant-Man is funny. We love Paul Rudd.

F. Alan Silvestri composed the score. Listen Alan is a legacy composer. We love him forever. A lot of the Marvel movies score are forgettable and generic. Alan Brought some fun stuff to this one though.

G. The posters represents the movie. Cluttered with people.

“Avengers: Infinity War” or “Marvel: Great Hits”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Avengers: Infinity War“. Okay we have seen all those other Marvel movies and our asses have been waiting for this one! The Avengers are back and the Guardians of the Galaxy, and Dr. Strange, and Spider-Man, and Black Panther and your mom. Yes, everyone is in this movie, probably you reading this too. Okay so there are like 30 movies leading up to this movie so good luck if you have to catch up and you will want to see all the character development before this film for sure. There is this big purple alien named Thanos and he is out to get all these stones that fit into this power glove. Then he can snap his fingers and half the universe will die. Sounds great! Comic Con will get thinned out this year. Meanwhile, The Avengers plus every Marvel hero we have seen in those 30 films shows up to fuck his jam up. They also sort of meet each other for the first time. Ya know Guardians of the Galaxy meets Iron Man etc. There is some crazy space action, Wakanda action, and some emotional scenes too. In the end the shit hits the fan and you may be crying. If you are smart you will not cry, because they are probably making more films for each of these characters. So you figure it out. Money talks, and Thanos walks!

Okay so this movie was a lot of fun. We were waiting on it forever, so you are pumped to see that shit. There is a lot of action in it but they really do take the time to give you that emotion and develop Thanos. He is not just boring purple bad guy with a huge peen, but a person with different ideas about how to run shit. Maybe he is crazy but he believes he is doing good or whatever. It’s a long movie but you really don’t feel it because there is so much going on in it. It really is a greatest hits with everyone running around and meeting each other and then fighting. The Black Panther is back in this and the entire audience cheered when he showed up. We really love the Black Panther! There is a lot of Guardians of the Galaxy scenes in this movie too, but I don’t mind because their characters are fun and entertaining. The ending is a shock for some but honestly that’s the real problem with the film. There is no sense of dread. If a character dies you think to yourself “Well they will come back some how with Space Magic in the next film”. Meaning somehow they will get brought back in the sequel. Maybe audiences are too smart now. We know what is being filmed after this movie or during this movie. Like Guardians 3, Black Panther 2, Spider-man 2, etc. Basically if they are making these movies already then characters can’t be hurt in this film, but I like that they tried anyway. It really is nuts to see all these actors/characters in one film. You have never really seen anything like it. The score was by a favorite composer of mine Alan S., but once again a lot of it was generic. Just like every Marvel movie score. They just want it to blend in I guess. It’s weak. Anyway go see this in the theater. It’s huge and loud and fun!

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Chris Evans really is a great Captain America. He sells the shit out of it, but he was not in this movie as much as others. I assume the next he will be and die!

B. Anthony Russo and Joe Russo directed this movie. They also directed Captain America: The Winter Soldier and  Captain America: Civil War Stay for this Post credit scene. They do a great job of juggling all these characters and make you feel kinda of sad at the end.

C. Tom Holland we love you as Spider-Man. We are excited to see him jumping around and he is believable. Spider-Man ass compared to Captain Marvel ass.

D. Thanos was more interesting than I thought he was going to be. Sometimes villains are just one note. Ya know I hate everyone and I want to rule. Really he just wanted peace and quiet and a vacation. Josh Brolin sold it!

Josh Brolin in Goonies.

Also there are shit load of memes!

Holy shit.

E. Alan Silvestri (Romancing the StoneCat’s EyeBack to the FutureOutrageous FortunePredatorOverboardDeath Becomes HerForrest GumpThe Polar ExpressG.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra) composed the score. I love him but this score was not very memorable. Here is a sample.

F. Us on opening night. We met the real Dr. Strange.

G. Chadwick Boseman is great as the Black Panther.


H. They filmed this in Atlanta. I took this pic of a hot dog stand. It’s in the movie!

I. I can’t believe Sharon was one of the infinity stones!

J. This poster is a cluster fuck.