“Mary Poppins Returns” or “Hey Mary, The Rent is Due!”- My fuckin review

Here is my review for “Mary Poppins Returns“. YESSS BITCH! MARY is back! Okay the Banks kids are all grown up from part 1. Now Michael Banks has 3 kids and a dead wife. They are all sad as shit and the Michael’s sister Jane is there to help. The shit gets more sad now because they are broke as fuck and can’t pay the rent. Michael is ready jump his ass off a roof. The kids are crying and need help. What can they do? Enter Mary Poppins, from the clouds. She shows up throwing shade and her witch powers around. She even looks in mirrors saying to herself “I woke up like this, flawless”. Wow Crazy! Later she meets up with Lin-Manuel Miranda and he is a street lamp lighter. Now do what! Anyway they are trying to think of ways to make a buck to pay the rent all while fuckin with cartoon horses. In the end they all get High? Then fly away.

Okay this movie was a lot of fun, crazy and yes depressing. Emily does a great job as Mary Poppins, you buy her floating ass. She throws the right amount of shade on everyone. The kids from the first movie are giving it you. Ben Whishaw really is a great actor and it gets real and sad. The new kids are fun not annoying. The songs aren’t as catchy as the first movie though. They are cute though. Lin-Manuel Miranda is in it a lot. It almost takes away from Mary at times. He even does some of the rapping he does from the Hamilton. It’s the wrong time frame for all that though. So you are aware of it happening and it’s too much. I love all the animation in it, it really felt like the characters of the old Poppins. It really is fun and I do like the depressing shit too. It’s a good lesson for children today. Yes, bitch the rent is due.

 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Emily Blunt was great in the movie. She made a good Poppins and I believed it.

B. Lin-Manuel Miranda is a great performer, but it felt like he was in it a lot more and Mary should have been in it the most. 

C. This song was fun, but No I can’t imagine.

D. Ben Whishaw  really is an amazing actor. I love him in films and TV. There is a realness to him and even sadness at times that I love.

E. Dick Van DykeAngela Lansbury and Meryl Streep show up for shits and giggles.

F. Nobody beats Julie Andrews she was like made of real magic. But Emily does a good job.

G. I loved this new age Mary Poppins. Called Nanny 911. Amazing

H. Classy

 

“Coco” or “Mommy Death Looks So Fun!” – my fuckin review

My review for “Coco“. Okay so this movie starts off with a boy named Miguel and he wants to be a musician but everyone in his family hates music and forbids him to play that shit. Like Footloose but with music instead of Dance. He finds out that his great-grandfather, Ernesto de la Cruz, was a great singer and also a bastard and left the family to become the Mexican Elvis. Now it’s Dia de los Muertos aka the Day of the Dead. Where you celebrate dead relatives and friends. While trying to steal his great grandfather’s guitar he dies and is transported to the land of the dead. I am not sure if this is heaven or hell or purgatory. There he hangs out with dead family members and figures out his talents as a musician and the importance of family. Then he learns about DEATH!

Okay so this movie is a good time. It’s 2017 and even the cartoons want to die! The music is great and the characters are fun and it’s about Dia de los Metros and that is funnnnn! You learn a lot of the things you didn’t know about that day also. The animation is nuts but you knew that going in. There are more surprises in this film than you think and that was cool too. It got a little slow in the middle but the twists turned that shit around. Go check this movie out and be happy and sad, and even learn some shit. It’s the best Pixar movie in years!

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Anthony Gonzalez plays Miguel and he was great! I bought a stuffed doll already!

B. Gael García Bernal plays Hector his friend on the other side. It’s good to dead friends on the other side. 

C. Here is Coco. She looks real as fuck.

D. Here is Anthony Gonzalez scaring the shit out of Disney guests. 

Here is the best song in the movie.

E. Remember to put up pics of dead people you want to see come visit you on Nov. 1st.

F. Michael Giacchino composed the score. He is brilliant as usual.

G. There was another animated movie about the Day of the Dead called The Book of Life but Channing TatumRon Perlman Christina Applegate and Ice Cube did voices for a movie about Dia de los Muertos you piece it together. Go see COCO!

H. They should have sung Selena at the end then I would have bust out crying.

I. Colorful as fuck!