“Godzilla: King of the Monsters” or “Humans Suck in Monster Movies” – my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Godzilla: King of the Monsters“. I was super excited to see this movie. I love Godzilla and I love the Director Michael Dougherty.

Okay so the film begins with Millie Bobby Brown and her family. The world is shit and there are monsters asleep everywhere. Millie’s mom, Vera Farmiga, wakes all the monsters up with some new Monster Alarm Clock. Now Rodan and Mothra and King Gidorah are up and horny. So, Godzilla is back to stop them. Meanwhile all these humans are flying around in some kind of future plane. All the monsters fight, and you realize okay maybe you do need interesting characters even in a monster movie.

Okay so let me first say that the monsters look amazing, their fight scenes are incredible. Your mouth will be hanging fuckin open and Rodan is my hero and I love him. The score is pretty great too. Everything is loud and powerful, and you will be like holy shit. Now for the humans. They are honestly dumb and boring. I love the actors that were chosen too, but they were lifeless in their parts. The humans in the film are basically following the monsters around while also looking for Millie. Listen who gives a shit about this little girl in the movie. Who fuckin cares. I thought I could get over the dumb characters because the monsters are big and cool, but you can’t. You feel let down by the time the movie ends. It’s like you love half the movie and hate the other half. I don’t care about some dumb family when the world is ending. Fuck them.  Maybe I just hated the writing for these characters. It’s crazy how they really got half this movie so right and the other half so weird and forced. If you love Godzilla movies you will love seeing these giant critters banging, but you will not be able to relate to one person in this movie. See it on the big screen for the monsters, because on a small TV it will suck all the way.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Michael Dougherty  (Trick ‘r Treat, Krampus) I love you but I wish the characters were cooler or more real.

B. Kyle Chandler (Super 8, Catch-22 ) got on my nerves the whole movie. Sadly he will be back as this character in Godzilla vs. Kong

C. Vera Farmiga is really great in anything but here character is weird in this film.

D. Millie Bobby Brown  is boring and forgettable in this movie. Standing around staring is not acting or likable at all.

E. Honestly this is image pretty amazing.

F. Bear McCreary  (The Walking Dead, Happy Death Day , 10 Cloverfield Lane ) is a fun composer and I liked this score. Check it out.

G. I guess these are the Mothra twins but they don’t sing in this movie. It was huge missed opportunity.

G. These poster are amazing!