What to do in Atlanta for Halloween 2019! (Haunted Houses, Halloween Attractions, Events, Movies, Songs, Blu Rays, Etc.)

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Me as It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Bitch!

My name is Eddie Ray and I love Halloween. So I’m glad I live in a HALLOWEEN TOWN like ATLANTA, GEORGIA. I start celebrating September 1st and then it ends for me November 1st. True Halloween Kids always start Halloween on Sept. 1st. Two whole months!  Also I just want to say that Halloween is about the spirit of the season and the fun of it all. To dress up, dance, sing and be scared for a couple of months. It’s all inclusive and for everyone. Halloween is a happy time and should be shared by all. Nobody owns it, and nobody should. Ok that being said here are some fun things to do, some fun movies to watch, and some fun things to listen to on a spooky ass Halloween night in Atlanta. This page will be updated as new events come up or change.

Me as a gangster on left.

HERE IS SOME PROOF THAT I LOVE HALLOWEEN:

Me interviewed in Atlanta Retro:  Click here for link!

Scout Mob ghost hunt with me: Click here for link!

Scout Mob Quija Board with me: Click here for link!

Bumps of me in my Halloween costumes over the years on Adult Swim:

I was interviewed about Halloween: 

Click here for link!

Click here for 2nd link!

You can see more Halloween videos that I film on here:  Click here for videos!

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               Me as the Green Ghost from Scooby Doo

Lets talk about Haunted Attractions/ Haunted Houses first:

I used to work in a haunted house called “Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse” for 5 years, but the place it was at is now closed, so now it’s nowhere. Haha Here is a look but you missed it!

 

1. 13 Stories Haunted House- (Click here for link!): This haunted attraction has been open since 1984 in Newnan, GA. It is one of my favorite haunted attractions to visit. I’m glad to say over the years I have become friends with a lot of the ghouls there. They have a trap house. It’s amazing.

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Trailer:

 

 

2. Camp Blood  – (Click here for link!): I love the Friday the 13th films, creepy woods, and blood. So if you love those things as much as me then this is the haunted trail is for you. You even go in out of houses and cabins there. City folks beware of hillbillies and rednecks there!

3. Uncle Shucks Corn Maze  – (Click here for link!): I go here to get lost in a gigantic spooky corn maze at night. It is huge and you can even buy a pumpkin here. Remember to take friends who will have fun with you here.

4. Nightmare Gate Haunted House – (Click here for link!) Nightmare’s Gate Hospital is the medical epicenter of an infectious disease that has No Cure, No Hope, and No Mercy! Something is spreading and the Doctors and Nurses are falling victim to it’s horrific effects. Patients are overpowering Orderlies, and Priests are turned from the path of compassion to outright ridicule. Dr McGavock from the CDC is battling both the infection and the infected with the best of modern medicine and the most barbaric of treatments ever devised by man. Don’t let them touch you as you navigate the twist and turns of Nightmare’s Gate! Will you be a survivor… Or a statistic?

5. Fear The Woods- (Click here for link!) This haunt consist of three different features: The Haunted House, a place where all your psychological fears are revealed; the Haunted Trail, where you have to find your way back after being dropped off in the middle of the woods and corn with the skinner family; and Pandemic, our NEW 8,000 square foot interactive, competitive, combat field where your skills determine your fate. We have been to this one and Love it! 

6. Paranoia Haunted House – (Click here for link!) Looking for a fun place to do your haunted “housing” this year? Paranoia Haunt is located close to Atlanta, GA and is a must experience this year. People of all walks of life love getting the life scared out of them. There are two different haunted houses here, Blood Factory and Infectious.

7. Talmadge Brothers Funeral Home Haunt– (Link Here) In Jasper GA.

8. Gates of Misery –(Click here for link!)-  Gates of Misery, formerly Haunting of the Seven Hills, is filled with torture, torment, zombies, and cannibals. See schedule. In Rome, Ga.

9. Scream on the Trail – (Click here for link!)- Scream on the Trail is an outdoor trail that is full of startles and hardcore scares, Scream on the Trail full terror is not recommended for the easily scared….  Have kids or easily scared? Make sure to ask the gatekeeper for the kiddie scare version! This one was creepy cuz it was somebodies house and yard I thought they were going to really kill us.

10. Bloodwood Trail– (Click here for link!)- 196 Painter Rd. Rome Ga, 30165. 

11. Containment Haunted House– (Click here for link!) 1320 Blair’s Bridge Rd., Lithia Springs, GA 30122

12. Folklore Haunted House– (Click here for link!)- 5389 N Main St, Acworth, Georgia.

13. Escape the Woods– (Click here for link!)- You and your team will have 1 hour to escape an abandoned cabin buried deep in the woods before the time runs out. This is not just any cabin… the owner of the cabin has been studying serial killers his whole miserable life and he wants to make you his first victims. To escape before he gets home you will need to explore his cabin, solve clues, and decipher his locks. This game is designed for adults only and is not for the faint of heart. Warning this will not be for the faint of heart.

14. Zombie Farms– (Click here for link!)- Zombie Farms is a 1/2 mile walk through dark and spooky woods filled with zombies and other characters who will scare you, entertain you, and sometimes even make you laugh. This year they are offering a “Behind the Masque” tour for those who want that little something extra!  For an extra fee, a personal tour guide takes you through the back side of the event, so you can watch some scares and even participate in one!  You can ask questions about how it all works and get to see Actor Camp where actors get ready for each performance and take breaks.

15. Dread Hollow in Lookout Valley– (Click here for link!) – The nightmare knows no boundaries for the 14th year as Ruby Falls joins Fear Connection for the annual Haunted Cavern, this year at Dread Hollow – a brand new location bringing 20,000 feet of intense scare factors, less wait times, new characters, sliders and two separate haunts! Haunted Cavern is one of the area’s best haunted attractions listed #4 on Buzzfeed’s national haunt list and a 2016 top haunt by the Haunted Attraction Association.

16. Sinister Suites– (Click here for link!)- Built in 1910 in Downtown Griffin GA, the Sinister Suites Hotel of Horror is a gruesome dark production. A terrifying 5 story 60,000 square foot walk through of the most unfathomable horrors. It’s an experience we DO NOT recommend, especially for those with a faint constitution. This is a mind altering and traumatic event.

17. Terror Mills– (Click here for link!)

18. Netherworld– (Click here for link! ) It has a new location this year.  2076 West Park Place Blvd. – Stone Mountain, GA 30087.

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Me as Martin the Crow Killer

Now lets talk about fun activities and events:

1. Anime Weekend Atlanta -(Oct. 31- Nov 3rd) – (Click here for link!)- is a four-day Japanese Animation and comics convention held annually in Atlanta, Georgia. Go get your costumes there!

2. Georgia State Fair – (Sept. 27th- Oct.6th) – (Click here for link!) – See you at the State Fair!

3. Stone Mountain Pumpkin Festival– (Sept. 21st – Nov. 3rd- Friday through Sunday only) – Click here for link!) “ONLY OPEN WEEKENDS. Make family memories this fall season at Stone Mountain Park’s 11th annual Pumpkin Festival. Enjoy fun-filled games and family shows such as “Pumpkinpalooza,” scavenger hunts and the Pumpkin Mash at the Mayor’s Rockin Costume Party.”

4Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho In Concert with Atlanta Symphony Orchestra – Oct. 12th 8pm (Tickets here)

5. Walker Stalker Con– Oct. 18th- Oct. 20th (Click here for link!) ZOMBIE, HORROR & SCI-FI FAN CONVENTION.

6. Capturing The Spirit of Oakland Halloween Tour– (Link Here)(Oct. 17th- 27th). Take a look at a video.

7. Little 5 Points Halloween Parade – (Sat. Oct. 19th)- (www.l5phalloween.com)- I have been in the Halloween parade for about 5 years now and it’s so much fun to dress up and walk down the streets of Little 5 Points in a creepy costume. Not to be missed, and if you can be in it then get in it! Watch here:

8. Fernbank Fright Night (TBD)- (Click for info) In the mood for a frighteningly-fun night? Join us for a screaming good time at Fernbank’s annual adults-only Halloween party! Enjoy a costume contest, dancing, twilight tours of the new outdoor experience Woodland Spirits, access to the special exhibit Nature’s Superheroes: Life at the Limits and more. Craft beer, cocktails and small plates will be available for purchase.

9. Marys Hallo-Weenie Party- (Friday Oct. 25th)- (marysatlanta.com) For a good time on Halloween call “Marys” it’s a cool place to go. They make Halloween a big deal and have the most outlandish costumes at any club or bar I have ever seen. I always take my ass by there in October.

10.  Monsterama – (Sept. 27th-29th) (http://monsteramacon.com)-is an Atlanta convention that celebrates the fantastic in film, literature, and art.

11. Six Flags Horror Nights– (Sept. 21st – Nov. 2nd) –  Go ride some rides while getting attacked by monsters!!!! Click here for link!

12. Midtown Halloween- (TBD) – (Click here for link!) Dress up for a night of fantasy and mischief on at the Midtown Halloween block party. Atlanta’s Largest Halloween Party with 2000+ over the last 5 years takes over all of Midtown until 3am! Make sure you get your picture taken for the $1000 Costume Contest at the photo booth.

13. Halloween Night in the Highlands– (TBD)-  (Link Here) Halloween night when freaks, ghouls, zombies and goblins wear very little and scare you at parties.
Prepare yourself for a crazy Halloween in the Virginia Highlands!

14. Horror Movie Screenings:

Plaza Theater:  

Candyman 10/16

House on Haunted Hill 60th anniversary 10/5 (Link for info)

Hocus Pocus 10/30 (Click here for info)

Scream 2- 10/9 (Click for info)

Landmark Theatres:

Young Frankenstein 10/22 (Click here for info)

Frankenstein 10/29 (Click here for info)

Atlantic Station/Regal Cinemas: 

Alien 10/13 and 10/15

15. Goth Night at Marys– (Thursday Oct. 24th) – It’s time to be grimly fiendish. Bring on the dancing headless horses, dress to depress, and join us in ringing in our favorite time of the year.

16. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (Plaza Theatre- TBD) (Link Here)

17. Women in Horror Film Fest– (TBD) (http://www.wihff.com)  A unique festival, dedicated to showcasing independent female writers and filmmakers who have dedicated their craft to this genre. The fest will be held at the beautiful Crowne Plaza Hotel & Conference Center in Peachtree City, GA, nestled between legendary Pinewood Studios Atlanta and Raleigh Studios (home of AMC’s The Walking Dead).

18. Halloweentown (Oct. 19th 10pm) Click here for info- Please Join the Combined crews of ; ART APOCALYPSE ATLANTA and Secret Partys of Atlanta as we Celebrate the Most Magical Time of Year – !!!!!!!!HALLOWEEN !!!!!!!!!

Enter HALLOWEENTOWN ON Sat Oct 19th, 2019 !!
Inside a 2 Story renovated Church with a private Outside Arena Patio of Art, Performance, and Dance, Fashion Show, and Bodypaint Competition by
Atlanta Bodypaint , Plus walk directly into the Venue from the Huge fenced and monitored parking lot Next to the buiding .($5 Cash Fee)

19. Shalloween W/ Boulet Brothers -OCT. 25th 10pm- (info here)

20. Grant Park Halloween Lantern Parade– Oct. 25th 6pm – 10pm  Click here for info

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21. Evil Dead The Musical– (TBD) – Evil Dead the Musical returns to Out of Box Theatre after a sell-out run for the last two years! Sam Raimi’s cult classic is an “All Guts, All Glory” musical interpretation of Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, and Army of Darkness features songs like “All the Men in My Life Keep Getting Killed by Kandarian Demons,” “Ode to an Accidental Stabbing,” and “Do the Necronomicon.” This musical is not for the faint of heart, but is sure to leave your screaming with laughter.

Click here for Link!

22.  4th Annual Shock & Roll Halloween Extravaganza – Oct. 17th   (Click here for info)- Eye Wreckin’ Entertainment presents the 4th Annual Shock & Roll Halloween Extravaganza! You couldn’t ask for a better show than this! Halloween is comin’ for ya’, Atlanta! Make your plans NOW!!!
Featuring:
The Casket Creatures, ELZIG

23. Day of the Dead Festival- Oct. 27th (Click here for info) – Visitors of all ages learn about and experience a Day of the Dead festival. Guests enjoy traditional dancing, crafts and authentic mexican food and entertainment. View a display of altars honoring lost family and friends that are decorated with flowers, food and beverages. Admission is free.

24. Slaughter Que: The Masquerade(TBD)

Click here for the link!

 

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Me as a Swamp Witch

Where to get makeup and costumes:

1. Norcostco Atlanta Costume – (Click here for link!)

2. Costumes Etc. – (Click here for link!)

3. Eddie’s Trick Shop- (Click here for link!)

4. Sprit Halloween- (Click here for link!)

Here is me and Max at Spirit!

5. Halloween Headquarters- (Click here for link!)

6. Halloween Express- (Click here for link!)

7. Halloween City – (Click here for Link!)

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ME as Afro Demon!

What’s coming soon to a theater near you:

-Sept. 6th- It: Chapter 2, The Nightingale

-Oct.11th – Addams Family Animated film

– Oct.18th – Maleficent: Mistress of Evil,  Zombie Land 2

 

What’s coming soon to a TV:

-Sept. 18th- AHS 1984: FX

-Oct. 1st- Travel Channel Ghostober (Link for show info)

-Oct. 1st- on Free Form: 31 Nights of Halloween. (CLICK HERE FOR SCHEDULE)

-Oct. 1st- 31st- Syfy Channel: 31 days of Halloween (Link for info)

-OCT. 3rd TCM (Click here for schedule )

Me as Icee Bear

What’s coming out on Blu Ray:

Sept. 3th- SCOOBY DOO season 1 and 2, Nightmare Cinema

Sept. 10th – Scars of Dracula

Sept. 17th- The Prey, The Hills Have Eyes 2

Sept. 24th- Vampires, Fear No Evil

Oct. 1st– The Shining 4k, Gremlins 4K,

Oct. 8th- Nightmare Beach

Oct. 15th– The Omen Box Set

Oct. 29th– The Blob (1988)

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Me as The Ghost of ZEN TUO

Now lets talk about what’s fun to watch in October:

Here is my top 31 list: Click here for list!

1. Halloween (1978) – The best horror film of all time because John Carpenter is gold. I thanked him once for the joy he brought to my life.

2. The Fog (1980)– A John Carpenter classic, everything about this film is brilliant to me even the score. Scary, moody, spooky and tense.

3. Trick ‘r Treat– This film is incredible and should be a staple film to watch on Halloween. You will learn a lot about the Halloween season in this film. Do yourself a favor buy this film today. Do not rent it, buy it!

4. Halloween II (1981) – A sequel that made me scared BLEEPless of hospitals and was just as fun to watch as the first.

5. The House of the Devil– This throw back to the 80′s is gold and it’s quiet, moody, scary and satanic. Watch it and you will be spooked. The Director Ti West knows what he is doing.

6. The Return of the Living Dead– The best zombie movie ever made, and some of my favorite dialogue in film period. Amazing soundtrack too.

7. Hellraiser– Humans are the bad guys in this amazing horror love story. Watch it for the love or the gore.

8. The Conjuring– This haunted house movie is spooky as fuck. Check it out on a dark Halloween night.

9. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master– My favorite of the Freddy/ Nightmare films. The teens are BLEEPIN incredible in this film, and you will wish you could hang with Freddy when it’s over.

10. The Descent– This film made me jump twice. I don’t ever jump in movies. The plot is simple and brilliant and gave me a panic attack. Watch this film with all the lights off.

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Domo Arigato 70’s Roboto!

Here’s a list of kids Halloween movies:

1. The Halloween Tree – Learn about the season of Halloween in this kids adventure written by Ray Bradbury.

2. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown– Ummm its Charlie Brown.

3. The Fat Albert Halloween Special– I LOVE FAT ALBERT!

4. ParaNorman– A fun and relevant movie about being different, zombies, ghosts, and witches. It’s incredible.

5.. The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad This film feels like Halloween.

6. Monster House– Kid creepy and fun.

7. Mad Monster Party?– Party with monsters that have the voices of Boris Karloff and Phyllis Diller.

Xanadoug from the planet Zatarain!

How about some spooky scores to scare the neighbors with or to chill with:

1. “The Fog” music by John Carpenter– This music will scare any trick or treater.

2. “Poltergeist” music by Jerry Goldsmith– Carol Anne’s theme is the ultimate spooky jam. One of Jerry’s best scores.

3. “Amityville Horror” music by Lalo Schifrin– Horror music based on a true story. Count me in.

4. “Halloween” music by John Carpenter–  You can never go wrong with Carpenter cuts.

5. “A Nightmare on Elm Street” music by Charles Bernstein– When I was kid this score was playing in a line at Six Flags and scared the hell out of me. Shut up it was dark!

6. “It Follows” music by Rich Vreeland– This is electronic gold, and it’s an amazing throw back to Carpenter and Bernstein.

7. “The Conjuring” music by Joseph Bishara– This shit is scary as fuck.

 

Me as The Georgia Patch King 1817
The Grim Reaper!

Top Ten Movies of 2018! Well My Top 20, Calm Down!

Here is a list of my top films of 2018 that I loved and the reviews for each one are underneath. You may agree or disagree. Who cares make your own list or let me know one that I may have missed and I will watch that shit and add it to the list. It was an Okay year for movies. There was some fun stuff and some weird and different ones too. What’s on the list may surprise or you may have never been surprised before in your life. I have learned that your favorite movies of each year are the ones you will watch over and over. Maybe the critics didn’t like it, maybe they seem silly, or maybe you follow the crowd/reviewers. Just be honest with yourself and shit you like blah blah blah. Love what you love. I would watch all these movies again and maybe even again and again. Don’t be a grumpy bitch who says “There are no new ideas anymore in Hollywood” or “Everything sucks” etc. You ain’t cool bitch, or get your ass up and make your own films. Do something new. 🙂 Here they are! Remember my full reviews are underneath each one. Some are still being written.

  1. Hereditary– This movie is incredible. It’s scary and beautiful. The score and acting in it is amazing. It’s my favorite movie of the year.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/06/12/hereditary-or-true-horror-is-family-my-fuckin-review/

2. Halloween 2018- I love Michael Myers and Laurie Strode. Maybe it wasn’t what fans wanted but I loved it and the score. I will be watching this one in the future many times.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/10/25/halloween-2018-or-the-year-of-halloween-my-fuckin-review/

3. Crazy Rich Asians– I really felt happy after this movie. I was happy about the movie and the cast in it.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/10/17/crazy-rich-asians-or-the-feel-good-movie-of-the-year-my-fuckin-review/

4. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Honestly this movie had the best dialogue of any film this year. It was cool, smart, fun, and made you like superhero movies again.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2019/01/04/spider-man-into-the-spider-verse-or-i-am-spiderman-my-fuckin-review/

5. Boy Erased– This movie is great but sad as hell and maybe someone will learn something about people by watching it.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2019/01/15/boy-erased-or-religion-is-terrible-my-fuckin-review/

6. The Night Comes for Us– This movie gave it to you. The choreography in this movie is mind-blowing. It’s just fun, real and gory movie.

7. Love, Simon– I wasn’t sure I would even like this movie, but it’s great to see a Hollywood LGBT story on the big screen that was good and entertaining.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/04/25/love-simon-or-a-gay-teens-coming-of-age-out-story-my-fuckin-review/

8. Boarding School– You haven’t heard of this movie, but it’s so weird and fucked up and I loved it.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/12/31/boarding-school-or-what-the-fuck-school-my-fuckin-review/

9. If Beale Street Could Talk– You are living these people’s lives. You feel what they feel and the directing is great.

10.It’s Nun of Your Goddamn Business– Get ready for the craziest movie of the year. I have never seen something so weird and amazing! Here is a link to watch it.

also this masterpiece! I can’t believe they finally told the story of Ben Trammer. Wow I am floored. You can watch it here for free.

Here are the fun runners-up!

  1. Bumblebee listen this movie is a lot of fun with a teen girl as the lead and the Transformers look the way we wanted them to look. I loved it. Also I hate the Michael Bay Transformer movies. So this was a happy change.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/12/18/bumblebee-or-freeform-network-presents-bumblebee-my-fuckin-review/

2. Teen Titans Go! To the Movies Are you kidding me! This movie is fun and witty and really the best superhero movie of the year. The dialogue is amazing. I know you like the old Teen Titans etc etc.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/08/22/teen-titans-go-or-the-best-super-hero-movie-this-year/

3.Eighth Grade This movie is better than I thought it would be, mainly because of the director. It was real and sad and really felt like a documentary at times. Yes 8th grade sucked.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/12/31/eighth-grade-or-life-is-terrible-for-teens-my-fuckin-review/

4. BlacKkKlansman Real life is fucked up. This true story really was interesting, entertaining and hopefully someone learned something about racism. A must watch.

5. Mary Poppins Returns Listen I love Mary Poppins even those she is shady as fuck. This movie takes a minute to process, but it was nuts and happy.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2019/01/14/mary-poppins-returns-or-hey-mary-the-rent-is-due-my-fuckin-review/

6. Ben Is Back A Christmas story on drugs and the sadness that comes with it. Julia Roberts cursing people out is great.

7. Creed II I love the Rocky movies and I love the Creed movies and the direction they went in.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/12/15/creed-2-or-the-dragos-are-back-my-fuckin-review/

8. Sorry to Bother You Wow this movie had a lot to say and left you fucked up on the way out.

9.Black Panther I mean I guess Superhero movies are part of our lives now, but at least this one gave you shit you have never seen before and characters that need to be seen.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/03/27/black-panther-or-wakanda-forever-my-fuckin-review/

10. Ready Player One Listen Steven has lost the magic over the years, but this one got me excited. I loved looking for all the hidden characters, and it really was fun to watch.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/04/16/ready-player-one-or-take-me-to-the-porn-oasis-my-fuckin-review/

 

 

 

 

 

“Slice” or “The Worst Movie of 2018” My fuckin review

Here is my review for “Slice“. Okay this is the latest movie from A24 Films. So we were all excited to see it. The film starts off with a town full of ghosts. They all work and own houses and order pizza and shit. Then murders start happening and pizzas are being delivered. It’s also supposed to be a comedy I think, but nothing was funny. Eventually Chance the Rapper shows up and is a werewolf with shitty makeup. In the end overacting witches show up and deliver shitty lines. It’s a mess.

Okay I have not wanted to walk out of a movie in years, but after 15 minutes I was like this is the worst movie I have seen on any platform in years. It’s stupid, the acting sucks, the score sucks, the plot sucks, and I hated it. I even suck for watching the whole thing. It just had cheesy and forced jokes non-stop. Eye rolled my eyes so much they got stuck. The ghosts walking around were dumb as fuck. The witches looked like they were ladies from a shitty improv class. Someone once told me “Just because you can, it does not mean you should do”. If you have the money to make a movie it doesn’t mean you should make one. Also this is an A24 Film and they have given us so much. People say “Well it’s A24, so it will be good”. That’s a false statement now. This is like some bootleg ass movie you would see at bad horror film fest. Listen, I make silly or crazy shit too. This is not it. It’s dumb and trash. Don’t watch it, or don’t believe me and watch it. Then say “It’s the worst movie of the year”.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Maybe Chance the Rapper signed up and didn’t know? Maybe he can’t act? Who knows, but he looked busted in that cheap THRILLER makeup.

B. Austin Vesely directed this trash. He directed Chance the Rapper Ft. Saba: Angels I hope he knows it sucked. 

C. I love Zazie Beetz(Deadpool 2, Atlanta, ) but she is terrible in this movie.

D. A24 Films have given us great horror movies. I guess they can’t all be zingers. This are great “The Blackcoat’s Daughter” “Green Room” “Witch” “It Follows”  “Under the Skin“ and “Hereditary“.

E. Listen we all love Joe Keery (Stranger Things) but he is an irrelevant character in this movie and thrown in because he was in Stranger Things I guess.

F. The characters were annoying and pointless. I don’t want to eat pizza again.

G. Whatever.

“Love, Simon” or “A Gay Teens Coming (of age) Out Story” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Love, Simon“. Okay so this is the first big gay Hollywood teen movie. That’s a big deal, it took them until 2018 to make it. The film starts off with a teen named Simon. He is just your average teen but he wants to love dudes. Ya know, make out with them or bang them. Nobody knows he is gay and he is scared shitless about it, because people are assholes and they will beat him up or make fun of him etc. One day Simon finds out that there is another gay dude in his school and he starts emailing him secretly. They don’t know who each other are though. Simon has fantasies about which guy at his school it might be. It’s a like a murder mystery but without anyone getting murdered. Unless murdering that ass counts. In the end Simon has to deal with coming out and how his friends and family will treat him afterwards all while trying to get a date. Also his papers due!

Okay so this movie is great. It really is the first big Hollywood moving about being a gay teen and how hard it is to be gay in High School. It really has all the sort of jokes and characters you would expect in a teen movie, which is fun. Everyone in it really does a great job and you are interested on who they are etc. Nick Robinson really is a star and he has been great in everything I have seen him in. You really believe what he is selling you, and it’s sadness and excitement. If you don’t know what it’s like to be a gay teen then this movie does a good job letting the audience know without being super preachy. They even casted a lot of gay actors to be in the film also.  Jennifer Garner has a great speech in the movie about just because you are gay it doesn’t change who you are. It really is a fun and emotional coming of age (out) story. You will enjoy it for sure and also learn some things about how hard it is for gay teens. Go see it! It’s a positive film about being gay, and being in love. That things will work out for gay teens aka LGBT kids. 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Nick Robinson is great in this film and he really is a star. He was great in “The Kings of Summer” too.

B. Joey Pollari plays Lyle in the film and is gay in real life. He was good too. 

http://www.newnownext.com/love-simon-joey-pollari-comes-out-gay/03/2018/

C. Keiynan Lonsdale plays Kid Flash in The Flash TV show, and is also gay in real life. 

D. Here is Nick talking to Ellen about his brother coming out.

E. Miles Heizer is great. I love him in this and “13 Reasons Why” The were rumors that he and his 13 Reasons Why costar were dating for a while. 

 

Kisses from 13 Reasons Why

F. Simon’s friends in the film were believable too. It’s a teen movie, make the teens real and they did. Katherine Langford Alexandra Shipp Jorge Lendeborg Jr. were all fun. It was a feel good movie. 

G. A gay Director,  Xavier Dolanwrote a love letter to the film. Read it. He is a good director also.

http://www.indiewire.com/2018/03/xavier-dolan-love-simon-review-queer-cinema-1201941032/

H. Directed by Greg Berlanti  (Written for ArrowThe FlashTitans, Dawson’s Creek, ) He also produces Riverdale.

He is on the left with his husband Robbie Rogers on the right.

I. Simple but effective. I am into it.

“Beach Rats” or “Get Your Dick Sucked On The Beach” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Beach Rats“. Okay the film starts off with this dude named Frankie and he is looking at Nude Live Chat guys online. He wants to see their dicks etc. The next day he is hanging with his strait pals. Nobody knows he is gay, he doesn’t either. He is trying to hide it but wants the dick. He meets this girl and they hang out and try to have sex but he can’t get it up. Somehow they keep going out. He basically tries to balance his straight life with sucking dick in the woods by the beach. It’s a sad life that he struggles with and does drug too to try to deal with it all.

Okay so I enjoyed this movie. It was not as sad as I thought it was going to be, but you did feel sad for him. You just wanted him to be happy and be himself. Is there a plot/story not really. It’s just this guys life on Coney Island, with lights, colors, shadows, dicks, sadness. Him not even not knowing what the word “Gay” even really means.  Frankie just dealing with trying to understand why he is attracted to guys and pretending it’s not real. Looking chat rooms instead of Grindr because someone his own age might find him out. It really is a beautifully shot film and you will feel like you stepped into this guys life for a short time. You may even like you sucked a dick. Haha Anyway check this film out and learn what it’s like to feel trapped in a secret life and not be yourself daily.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Harris Dickinson played Frankie and he was great. He was quiet and honest. 

B. At one point he mocks his girlfriend by asking her “Do you think I’m pretty?”. It’s like he invisible to the world, like he can’t see himself or refuses to because if he does then he will realize he is gay. Sad as fuck.

C. Directed by Eliza Hittman (It Felt Like Love). I can’t wait to see what’s next for her.

D. Madeline Weinstein plays his girlfriend. 



E. He is a great interview with Harris Dickinson about his role. 

“My idea of romance is tailor-made pleasure.”: Harris Dickinson on being sexy but not romanti…

F. His straight pals.

G. 2 posters. Both are shirtless.

“It” or “Would You Bang Pennywise?”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “It“. Okay yes we all love the 1990 TV version of “It” and Tim Curry and Jonathan Brandis too. That movie is gold, but it’s not perfect let’s be real shit. So this movie is a part one and just involves the kids. It’s 1989 and the kids are riding around listening to New Kids on the Block and going to see Batman and shit. Until Pennywise shows up and fucks Georgie up. Now the kids are dealing with this antique clown, bullies and puberty. Life is fucked up in Derry! In the end there is no running from this pervy ass clown and they have to go fuck him up, but they make a promise that if he ever shows up they will come back and face his ass again. Which will be part 2. 

Okay this movie is a lot of fun. The kids are fucking great and lovable and likable. They are honest and curse constantly. That’s real life. Their dialogue is too real. The bullies are scary as fuck. If they were real you would think they were going to kill your ass! That’s amazing. Bill Skarsgard is way different from Tim Curry which is fine and he plays him creepier and even more perverted. He did a good job. I even liked his voice. He goddamn google eyes were nuts. People thought it was long but I honestly thought the length was fine. I was ready to see more. The only thing I was not keen on was the score. It was boring and generic. It just wasn’t memorable at all. It could have been really fun and it just wasn’t. I am excited for the sequel now. Oh was it scary? Yes, I mean for normal people. You will jump a few a times. I mean I thought the clown was hot.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Bill Skarsgård (Castle RockAtomic BlondeHemlock Grove) did a good job in the movie. Those eyes and smile were fucked. 

You can see Bill Skarsgard’s dick and him getting a BJ in the movie Behind Blue Skies. Here is the link.

http://www.fleshbot.com/5837881/a-rather-graphic-blowjob-for-a-mainstream-movie

The real IT.  Haha 
477609e043defe93ad7a449bda095435.jpg

B. New Pennywise

Old Pennywise

C. It was directed by Andy Muschietti (Mama). He did a good job and I am excited about seeing part 2 with the adults version come into play. 

D. The bullies were mean as hell and didn’t give a fuck! If you are going to be a bully be a mean one.

E. My favorite shot in the whole movie. Pert Plus it. 

There is even a POP figure of it.

F. The score was composed by Benjamin Wallfisch (Annabelle: CreationA Cure for Wellness) , and it was boring and generic. Here is a sample.

G. Here is a fun instagram we made to promote the movie the day it came out.

H. The kids were great!

it-2017-kids-group-670-380.jpg

Even the old “IT” kids were great. Shit Seth Green and Jonathan Brandis were in that group!

5d738b26-7c68-4a28-83f5-6a4d087eb07d_560_420.jpg

I. Poster real cute.