“Fish Tank” or “Girls Are Cooler in Essex When They Look Like Krista Carothers” – my fuckin review

I am a little slow but I was told to watch “Fish Tank” (2009) by my friend Kevin Vickery. OK so the movie is about this 15-year-old girl named Mia (Katie Jarvis) who looks like my good friend Krista Carothers. Mia lives in Essex Estate over in England, and wants to be a hip hop dancer, but I think she is poor. She lives with her mom and little sister and walks the streets fucking with people. Mia ain’t a bad girl she is trying to find shit to do. Hell I would hang out with her she is pretty cool. She even tries to set this horse free who looks sick. Later Michael Fassbender starts dating her mom, and Mia likes him too, and he is a pretty good guy and takes them all out to lakes and shit. Mia starts flirting with him because he is Michael Fassbender and eventually they have quick sex (less than 5 minutes). He feels bad about it because she is 15 years old and breaks up with her mom and splits. Michael you can’t bang a 15-year-old you fuckin perv. Ok I really liked this movie a lot, and I thought  Katie Jarvis did an awesome job playing Mia and I would want to hang out with and do hip hop moves with her all day. The film is shot sort of like a documentary so you really feel part of her life and it will suck you in or it may just be because I thought it was an English version of my friend Krista life the whole time. Anyway if you wanna see a cool a movie about a cool girl from Essex who curses a lot, head butts other girls, pisses on people’s carpets, and dances to hip hop then this movie is for you.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. I want to go to Essex State, even though I think it was supposed to be poor people.

B. I want to Hip Hop dance now. Here is Mia Hip Hop dancing. Also why do they wear a lot of sweat pants over there.

C. I understand this girl and her pain and being pissed off. American teen girl movies are fuckin stupid, this one makes sense to me.

D. Here is a pic of Mia.

E. Her mom likes to Hip Hop dance, and tell her daughter to shut the fuck up too.

F. Here is a pic of me and Krista Carothers. See she kinda of does look like MIA.

G. Here is Krista Hip Hop dancing.

H. Here is Krista in front of a green screen, she could have played this part.

I. I want to go and set horses free with her.

J. Don’t sleep with underaged people, that is nasty and gross, and you will go to fuckin jail bitch.

K. The mom was dancing to this song one day. Amazing.

L. I also like looking at real fish tanks.

M. Michael is a really good actor. He just makes sense in movies and on film.

N. Go rent this movie for something a little different and interesting to watch. I started it and was only going to watch half of it and go to bed but I watch the whole movie non stop.