Here is my review for “Slice“. Okay this is the latest movie from A24 Films. So we were all excited to see it. The film starts off with a town full of ghosts. They all work and own houses and order pizza and shit. Then murders start happening and pizzas are being delivered. It’s also supposed to be a comedy I think, but nothing was funny. Eventually Chance the Rapper shows up and is a werewolf with shitty makeup. In the end overacting witches show up and deliver shitty lines. It’s a mess.
Okay I have not wanted to walk out of a movie in years, but after 15 minutes I was like this is the worst movie I have seen on any platform in years. It’s stupid, the acting sucks, the score sucks, the plot sucks, and I hated it. I even suck for watching the whole thing. It just had cheesy and forced jokes non-stop. Eye rolled my eyes so much they got stuck. The ghosts walking around were dumb as fuck. The witches looked like they were ladies from a shitty improv class. Someone once told me “Just because you can, it does not mean you should do”. If you have the money to make a movie it doesn’t mean you should make one. Also this is an A24 Film and they have given us so much. People say “Well it’s A24, so it will be good”. That’s a false statement now. This is like some bootleg ass movie you would see at bad horror film fest. Listen, I make silly or crazy shit too. This is not it. It’s dumb and trash. Don’t watch it, or don’t believe me and watch it. Then say “It’s the worst movie of the year”.
A. Maybe Chance the Rapper signed up and didn’t know? Maybe he can’t act? Who knows, but he looked busted in that cheap THRILLER makeup.
Here is my review for “The Predator“. Okay the original “Predator” movie is amazing. It’s like the tank of action films. Crazy masculine shots of dudes with muscles and shit. It’s crazy. The score is brilliant also. So this new movie is a sequel, so the previous films happened etc. It starts off with this sniper named Quinn McKenna. He is on some mission in the jungle and watches a predator ship crash, then he steals that predator’s helmet and arm weapon, and mails it to his son back in the states. So he would have proof of seeing an alien. This movie is already crazy at this point and you are like okay this shit is nuts. Quinn gets in trouble with the government because he saw the alien. Now he is thrown on a bus with people who are “Crazy” but really they are just unstable and bros. The “crazy” team eventually joins forces with a scientist and a weapons expert played by Olivia Munn. They discuss eating each other pussies for a little while. Now they are running around trying to find the predator and also Quinn’s son who is wearing the Predator mask for Halloween. You in the audience are like this movie is all over the place! Anyway more shit happens and there is a big mutant Predator and Predator dogs. It really is all over the place. In the end we learn that Autism is just an evolutionary jump.
Okay so this movie is literally nuts. The editing is choppy as fuck. Some things do not make any sense, which I think is because of the editing. The characters all walked out of an 80’s action movie. Ya know I am bad ass, and I am evil. Why? Who knows. Olivia Munn just shows up and is a scientist but can also fight and shoot all kinds of weapons. Quinn is a sniper who really is just a bad parent and murderer. He has lines like I will kill you if you bump into me again. Well who wants to know this person? Do you? He will kill you. He needs to be in jail. He also murderers all these military people. Umm you are in the military too. Yes, I get it he is a tough guy character from the 80’s, but have we gotten over this type of character? There is also a character with Tourette’s, but laughing at someone who curses a lot and can’t control it. That’s an old joke that is played. Why not just have someone just curse a lot. Ya know, like most people. Then someone told me the director Shane Black has Tourette’s. So I don’t know. The predator is cool but in the end doesn’t really make sense. He is here to help humanity, but kills so many humans to help them. HAHA There are just so many weird ass moments that do not make sense, it looks like things were chopped out of it while editing. There is a weird ass scene where they talk about “Eating my pussy”. It’s like wtf haha. Then you are pissed because the kid or the Predator doesn’t say it to someone later. Now that would be funny. That all being said, yes, it is fun to watch and honestly non-stop action. You may be confused watching it and roll your eyes at certain characters but you will not be bored. It is a thrill ride for sure. I can see they were trying to make something fun and over-the-top, it gets lost in itself at times. I would not rush out to see it, but when you watch it you will have fun watching it.
A. Boyd Holbrook was okay in it. He is like a super tough guy that says super tough lines like “if you touch me again I will kill you”. Do these people really exist. It’s like you are in the military and the guy guarding you is in the military. You murdered that dude.
He used to be a model. I wish that was the plot. This model finds a predator mask and wears it on the runway for fashion week. Then the predator shows up and he and his other model friends have to stop it.
B. Olivia Munn I know her name but I have not seen her in anything else. She plays a smart/tough character but she has to get naked so that the audience knows the predator will not harm people naked and afraid. Also She tries to get a blood sample from a dead predator and the guys are telling her to shut the fuck up etc. That was dumb.
D. Jacob Tremblay has Autism in the film. These kids are making fun of him called him Aspergers. Like Ass Burger. You can tell an adult wrote this joke for the kids to say. Do kids know what Aspergers is? Anyway the kid is the smartest person in the movie. So there is a message somewhere. Another character has Tourette’s Syndrome. This seems like an 80’s joke. Like we need someone in the film to curse a lot. Why not just have someone curse a lot and not have Tourette’s. I curse a lot. Then someone told me the director Shane Black has Tourette’s.
E. Henry Jackman composed the score. It’s a throwback to the original score. So you like it by default. Here is a sample.
F. Fuckkkkkk, Arnold was supposed to be in it. The original ending was this……
McKenna, his son, Rory (Jacob Tremblay) and Casey Bracket (Olivia Munn) have all just survived the final attack of the Super Predator (referred to as “The Upgrade” in the script) when a helicopter lands. Out climbs…Dutch Schaeffer (Arnold Schwarzenegger), his “face haunted; etched by pain.” Dutch tells the trio to come with him, and when Rory asks, “Uh…me, too?”, the franchise’s second-most iconic badass smiles and says “Especially you.”
Cut to black.
Arnold said this about being asked to be in it.
“They asked me, and I read it, and I didn’t like it — whatever they offered. So I’m not going to do that, no. Except if there’s a chance that they rewrite it, or make it a more significant role. But the way it is now, no, I won’t do that.”
Arnold should have showed up and shot the Predator at the end and said “Eat My Pussy Predator”. I would have died.
G. Jake Busey plays Gary Busey’s kid in the movie. Gary was in Predator 2.
H. I liked the spaceships flying around and it takes place during Halloween. I wish they had went to Predator world. They also say “Shut the fuck up” a lot. I was like true.
I. I have enjoyed all of the Predator movies. Some have been better than others though.
Here is my review for “he Nun“. Okay so this is a spin off from “The Conjuring 2“. Which I loved. The nun was creepy and fun in that movie etc. This new film starts off with scenes from ”The Conjuring 2‘ then it goes back in time to the 1950’s. It takes place in a Nun Castle where the evil nun lives. I’m not sure why she is there. The evil nun is killing other nuns and now this boring Priest, a not nun (she is not a nun yet), and a hot dude from Canada all head to the nun castle to see what’s up. The hot Canadian is there for a “Love Interest” for the Not Nun. Which is weird. Are they going to bang or something. Wtf. She is a nun. Anyway they realize there is an evil nun doing crazy shit and decide to stay. All 3 characters are boring and poorly equipped to deal with this demon nun. They run around for an hour and the nun is coming out of the goddamn walls to get them. In the end we find out the hot dude is really French Canadian, the priest is not good at his job, and the not nun becomes a full nun and does a trick she learned from Jada Pinkett Smith from “Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight” (a fun movie watch it) to kill the evil nun. Well not kill because she is in the Conjuring 2 in the future.
Okay so this movie is just dumb. I love The Conjuring and The Conjuring 2. They both have an interesting story, and it’s based on reality. The Nun is made up. Annabelle 1 and 2 are made up. You can tell because they are dumb movies. The Nun has a basic horror storyline, ya know investigate an evil thing somewhere, stay cuz you dumb, then fight it and good wins. They only thing unique about it is that they are all wearing nun outfits. The cast is literally made up of 3 people and all 3 people are boring and forgettable. It takes place in 1950 but it feels like 1850. It’s weird. The dialogue is generic and weak. The score is silly. Did I hate the movie? No, but it’s like who cares though. Even in the ending there is a hell mouth to close, and that was 7 years of Buffy. The blood of Jesus trick they use in it is from Demon Knight. Maybe they love those movies, but we have seen those tricks ya know. I really didn’t expect much. I thought it would be like Annabelle. Bad, and it was. Director James Wan directed The Conjuring and Conjuring 2 and he didn’t direct this movie and you can tell. He really is a good director and this movie feels like a quick gimmick. You may say will this movie is different or it’s this or that. Well they keep harping on how these films being spin offs from the Conjuring universe, but they don’t feel like it. You set up the universe now don’t blame me when I tell you it doesn’t fit in the world you created. Sorry I will have nun of that shit. Anyway I guess watch it on Netflix and roll your eyes etc.
A. Taissa Farmiga was boring in this movie. Maybe she is boring in everything and I never paid attention enough.
B. Bonnie Aarons played the Nun in this movie and The Conjuring 2. Good for her though.
My name is Eddie Ray and I’m in love with Halloween. So I’m happy to live in a HALLOWEEN TOWN like ATLANTA, GEORGIA. People call me the “King of Halloween” and “The hardest working man on Halloween”, but really I’m just a Halloween kid, and while some of you just “like” the season of Halloween I literally believe in it. I work for its success and break my ass to see that it’s a hit in Atlanta each year. I start celebrating September 1st and then it ends for me November 1st. True Halloween Kids always start Halloween on Sept. 1st. Two whole months! Okay I just want to say that Halloween is about the spirit of the season and the fun of it all. To dress up, dance, sing and be scared for a couple of months. It’s all inclusive and for everyone. Black, white, male, female, old, young, gay, trans, or straight. Halloween is a happy time and should be shared by all. Nobody owns it, and nobody should. Ok that being said here are some fun things to do, some fun movies to watch, and some fun things to listen to on a spooky ass Halloween night in Atlanta. This page will be updated as new events come up or change.
Lets talk about Haunted Attractions/ Haunted Houses first:
I used to work in a haunted house called “Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse” for 5 years, but the place it was at is now closed, so now it’s nowhere. Haha Here is a look but you missed it bitch!
Also we made a film about it:
1. 13 Stories Haunted House- (Click here for link!): This haunted attraction has been open since 1984 in Newnan, GA. It is one my favorite haunted attractions to visit. I’m glad to say over the years I have become friends with a lot of them. This year Horror Hill and 13 Stories Haunted House have combined and moved into a new 54,000 square foot location in Newnan, GA! So get ready for an all new show. Watch me and my friends here to see. We went to the new location this year and you are blindfolded and licked and felt up! I was so happy. This year they have a trap house.
Here is a video from my visit there.
2. Camp Blood – (Click here for link!): I love the Friday the 13th films, creepy woods,and blood. So if you love those things as much as me then this is the haunted trail for you. You even go in out of houses and cabins there. City folks beware of hillbillies and rednecks there!
3. Uncle Shucks Corn Maze – (Click here for link!): I go here to get lost in a gigantic spooky corn maze at night. It is huge and you can even buy a pumpkin here. Remember to take friends who will have fun with you here. Kid like personalities are a must, pretentious hipsters should probably stay home they will just irritate you.
4. Nightmare Gate Haunted House – (Click here for link!) I have been and it is a lot of fun. They even make you crawl. Panic Attack! So fun! Nightmare’s Gate Hospital is the medical epicenter of an infectious disease that has No Cure, No Hope, and No Mercy! Something is spreading and the Doctors and Nurses are falling victim to it’s horrific effects. Patients are overpowering Orderlies, and Priests are turned from the path of compassion to outright ridicule. Dr McGavock from the CDC is battling both the infection and the infected with the best of modern medicine and the most barbaric of treatments ever devised by man. Don’t let them touch you as you navigate the twist and turns of Nightmare’s Gate! Will you be a survivor… Or a statistic?
5. Fear The Woods- (Click here for link!) This haunt consist of three different features: The Haunted House, a place where all your psychological fears are revealed; the Haunted Trail, where you have to find your way back after being dropped off in the middle of the woods and corn with the skinner family; and Pandemic, our NEW 8,000 square foot interactive, competitive, combat field where your skills determine your fate. We have been to this one and Love it! Here is Me and Max talking about it and some footage too.
6. Paranoia Haunted House – (Click here for link!) Looking for a fun place to do your haunted “housing” this year? Paranoia Haunt is located close to Atlanta, GA and is a must experience this year. People of all walks of life love getting the life scared out of them. There are two different haunted houses here, Blood Factory and Infectious.
7. Talmadge Brothers Funeral Home Haunt– (Link Here) In Jasper GA.
8. Gates of Misery –(Click here for link!)- Gates of Misery, formerly Haunting of the Seven Hills, is filled with torture, torment, zombies, and cannibals. See schedule. In Rome, Ga.
9. Scream on the Trail – (Click here for link!)- Scream on the Trail is an outdoor trail that is full of startles and hardcore scares, Scream on the Trail full terror is not recommended for the easily scared…. Have kids or easily scared? Make sure to ask the gatekeeper for the kiddie scare version! This one was creepy cuz it was somebodies house and yard I thought they were going to really kill us.
13. Escape the Woods– (Click here for link!)- You and your team will have 1 hour to escape an abandoned cabin buried deep in the woods before the time runs out. This is not just any cabin… the owner of the cabin has been studying serial killers his whole miserable life and he wants to make you his first victims. To escape before he gets home you will need to explore his cabin, solve clues, and decipher his locks. This game is designed for adults only and is not for the faint of heart. Warning this will not be for the faint of heart.
14. Zombie Farms– (Click here for link!)- Zombie Farms is a 1/2 mile walk through dark and spooky woods filled with zombies and other characters who will scare you, entertain you, and sometimes even make you laugh. This year they are offering a “Behind the Masque” tour for those who want that little something extra! For an extra fee, a personal tour guide takes you through the back side of the event, so you can watch some scares and even participate in one! You can ask questions about how it all works and get to see Actor Camp where actors get ready for each performance and take breaks.
15. Dread Hollow in Lookout Valley– (Click here for link!) – The nightmare knows no boundaries for the 14th year as Ruby Falls joins Fear Connection for the annual Haunted Cavern, this year at Dread Hollow – a brand new location bringing 20,000 feet of intense scare factors, less wait times, new characters, sliders and two separate haunts! Haunted Cavern is one of the area’s best haunted attractions listed #4 on Buzzfeed’s national haunt list and a 2016 top haunt by the Haunted Attraction Association.
16. Sinister Suites– (Click here for link!)- Built in 1910 in Downtown Griffin GA, the Sinister Suites Hotel of Horror is a gruesome dark production. A terrifying 5 story 60,000 square foot walk through of the most unfathomable horrors. It’s an experience we DO NOT recommend, especially for those with a faint constitution. This is a mind altering and traumatic event.
3. Stone Mountain Pumpkin Festival– (Sept. 22nd – Oct 28th- Friday through Sunday only) – Click here for link!) “ONLY OPEN WEEKENDS. Make family memories this fall season at Stone Mountain Park’s 11th annual Pumpkin Festival. Enjoy fun-filled games and family shows such as “Pumpkinpalooza,” scavenger hunts and the Pumpkin Mash at the Mayor’s Rockin Costume Party.”
5. Walker Stalker Con– Oct. 26th- Oct. 28th (Click here for link!) ZOMBIE, HORROR & SCI-FI FAN CONVENTION.
6. Capturing The Spirit of Oakland Halloween Tour– (Link Here)(Oct. 18th- 28th). Take a look at a video.
7. Little 5 Points Halloween Parade – (Sat. Oct. 20th)- (www.l5phalloween.com)- I have been in the Halloween parade for about 5 years now and it’s so much fun to dress up and walk down the streets of Little 5 Points in a creepy costume. Not to be missed, and if you can be in it then get in it! Watch here:
8. Fernbank Fright Night (Oct. 26th)- (Click for info) In the mood for a frighteningly-fun night? Join us for a screaming good time at Fernbank’s annual adults-only Halloween party! Enjoy a costume contest, dancing, twilight tours of the new outdoor experience Woodland Spirits, access to the special exhibit Nature’s Superheroes: Life at the Limits and more. Craft beer, cocktails and small plates will be available for purchase.
9. Marys Hallo-Weenie Party- (Friday Oct. 26th)- (marysatlanta.com) For a good time on Halloween call “Marys” it’s a cool place to go. They make Halloween a big deal and have the most outlandish costumes at any club or bar I have ever seen. I always take my ass by there in October.
10. Monsterama – (Oct. 5th-7th) (http://monsteramacon.com)-is an Atlanta convention that celebrates the fantastic in film, literature, and art.
11. Six Flags Horror Nights– (Sept. 22nd – Oct. 31st) – Go ride some rides while getting attacked by monsters!!!! Click here for link!
12. Midtown Halloween- (Oct. 26th 7:00pm) – (Click here for link!) Dress up for a night of fantasy and mischief on at the Midtown Halloween block party. Atlanta’s Largest Halloween Party with 2000+ over the last 5 years takes over all of Midtown until 3am! Make sure you get your picture taken for the $1000 Costume Contest at the photo booth.
13. Halloween Night in the Highlands– (Oct. 27th 6:00pm)- (Link Here) Halloween night when freaks, ghouls, zombies and goblins wear very little and scare you at parties.
Prepare yourself for a crazy Halloween in the Virginia Highlands!
15. Goth Night at Marys– (Thursday Oct. 25th) – It’s time to be grimly fiendish. Bring on the dancing headless horses, dress to depress, and join us in ringing in our favorite time of the year.
16. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (Plaza Theatre) (TBD) (Link Here)
17. Women in Horror Film Fest– (Oct. 4th-7th) (http://www.wihff.com) A unique festival, dedicated to showcasing independent female writers and filmmakers who have dedicated their craft to this genre. The fest will be held at the beautiful Crowne Plaza Hotel & Conference Center in Peachtree City, GA, nestled between legendary Pinewood Studios Atlanta and Raleigh Studios (home of AMC’s The Walking Dead).
18. A Paranormal Evening with Alice Cooper -(Oct. 10th) Concert!
19. Shalloween W/ Sasha Velour -(Oct. 26th) Click here for link! WUSSY returns for the 4th annual SHALLOWEEN Dance Party featuring SASHA VELOUR winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9! Come bump uglies with Atlanta’s undead weirdos! We wanna see your freakiest Drag, Spooky Sadboys, Trash Queens + Swamp Kings, and Velour inspired couture.
20. Grant Park Halloween Lantern Parade– TBD- Click here
21. Evil Dead The Musical– (Oct. 5th-20th) – Evil Dead the Musical returns to Out of Box Theatre after a sell-out run for the last two years! Sam Raimi’s cult classic is an “All Guts, All Glory” musical interpretation of Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, and Army of Darkness features songs like “All the Men in My Life Keep Getting Killed by Kandarian Demons,” “Ode to an Accidental Stabbing,” and “Do the Necronomicon.” This musical is not for the faint of heart, but is sure to leave your screaming with laughter.
1. Halloween (1978) – The best horror film of all time because John Carpenter is gold. I thanked him once for the joy he brought to my life.
2. The Fog (1980)– A John Carpenter classic, everything about this film is brilliant to me even the score. Scary, moody, spooky and tense.
3. Trick ‘r Treat– This film is incredible and should be a staple film to watch on Halloween. You will learn a lot about the Halloween season in this film. Do yourself a favor buy this film today. Do not rent it, buy it!
4. Halloween II (1981) – A sequel that made me scared BLEEPless of hospitals and was just as fun to watch as the first.
5. The House of the Devil– This throw back to the 80′s is gold and it’s quiet, moody, scary and satanic. Watch it and you will be spooked. The Director Ti West knows what he is doing.
Here is my review for “The Meg“. I do love watching Shark movies. Well fun ones anyway. Okay so the movie starts off and there is this futuristic underwater base. I think it’s the year 2050. They have all these futuristic subs etc. They go down to the bottom of some trench, but the bottom is fake there is a deeper bottom below it. Now some people are trapped way down deep. They call Jason Statham to come save them and they end up letting out a Megaladon shark out. Those sharks died out Millions of years ago and it’s bigger than whale or a boat or Walmart. Now they shark is out fuckin people and eating their asses. While Jason S. is smiling. In the end big sharks don’t cryyyyyy.
Okay so this movie is a lot of fun to watch. It all looked cool and no cheap. Haha The dialogue was a little wooden and basic, but I liked how a lot of the cast was Asian. That was interested for sure. The music was okay and the plot was whatever. If you want to see a giant ass shark attacking people this movie is for you. Watch it during Shark Week next year. It’s fun but it was PG 13 and they cut out a bunch of the chomping to get more kids in. Maybe there will be uncut version on blu ray. Check it out for summer shark fun. They should have smiled less and died more.
Here is my review for “Teen Titans Go! To the Movies“. The Teen Titans Go are in their first movie. Yeah, I know you are angry because it’s not the old Teen Titans, but life is a bitch and this shit is funny! The story is about how Robin wants his own movie. Ya know like all the other Super Heroes. Nobody gives a shit about Robin so he is fighting for the chance to make a movie. He eventually runs into some bad guys and they want to make his movie. Then zany shit pops off. In the end will Robin get his own movie? Will people get over the old Teen Titans so they can watch this version?
Okay so this movie really is a lot of fun. I love Teen Titans Go and the old show. Can’t we have both? The characters are funny and they are giving you pop culture references and songs. If you love the DC Universe you will love this movie too, because they poke fun at everything. It’s something to check out for sure. You and your kids will love it etc. Robin makes a great ending joke at the credits and there is even an old school Teen Titans surprise at the end.