“Boy Erased” or “Religion is Terrible” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Boy Erased“. Lucas Hedges plays Jared Eamons in this true story. Jared is the son of a preacher and he is outed by his parents. He tells them he thinks about men and they send him to a church-supported gay conversion program. They want to turn him straight. Now he is this program with other gay kids who are trying to pray the gay away. Nicole Kidman is his mother and learns to be understanding. In the end all you can do is be yourself and live happy.

Okay so this movie is great but also sad as hell. Lucas Hedges gives it to you as always. You really hurt for him and his life. You just want to bust in that shit hole and rescue everyone. Troye Sivan has a small part in it, but honestly he was really good. Hopefully he does more. Director Xavier Dolan also has a part in it. He is an amazing director. They are conflicted gay kids. You really do feel sad for all of them and wish people would just learn to accept people and be happy. Nicole plays his mother and she does look like a sassy southern woman in this film. You believe her. It really is a sad story and it’s sadder because it really happened to Jared Eamons but the amazing part is how you can go through all this shit and come out the other side and help people. This is a great film to watch with everyone so they know what people are going through. Check it out and learn something but also be entertained by a smart and serious film.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Lucas Hedges (Moonrise KingdomThe Grand Budapest HotelManchester by the SeaLady BirdBen Is BackMid90s) is great in this movie but he is good in every movie. He gives you that somber seriousness and you believe what he is selling.

B. Nicole Kidman survived Tom Cruise and she can do anything now.

C. Directed by Joel Edgerton (actor in these movies It Comes at Night ,Midnight Special , The Thing remake). You feel this movie and he was even good in it.

D. Troye Sivan was in it also. He did a good job and also had this song on the soundtrack.

E. Director Xavier Dolan (HeartbeatsI Killed My MotherIt’s Only the End of the World) was in this movie also. He is great and you should check out his films they are great too.

F. Here is a picture of the author of the book and the real Jared Eamons

G. Too real for your bedroom wall.

 

The Best Films of 2009

Here are may favorite films of 2009! There was some cool shit out.

  1. Precious – an amazing film with real sadness and honesty.

2. Avatar– Wow this movie is crazy as fuck. James Cameron really gives you something you have never seen before.

3. Inglourious Basterds-brilliant dialogue and the characters are amazing.

4. Knowing WTF! This movie was a surprise and I loved it.

5. Fantastic Mr. Fox This animated movie has better dialogue than any other movie this year.

6. District 9 This movies is pretty amazing and as real as SCI FI gets.

7. Star Trek I love the new cast and the action and story were great

8. Antichrist Holy Shit. This movie scared the shit out of me. I don’t know why though.

9. The Road The most honest story of the apocalypse I have ever seen.

10. Terminator Salvation Okay I love The Terminator and this movie was interesting and fun than I thought it would be.

 

“Mary Poppins Returns” or “Hey Mary, The Rent is Due!”- My fuckin review

Here is my review for “Mary Poppins Returns“. YESSS BITCH! MARY is back! Okay the Banks kids are all grown up from part 1. Now Michael Banks has 3 kids and a dead wife. They are all sad as shit and the Michael’s sister Jane is there to help. The shit gets more sad now because they are broke as fuck and can’t pay the rent. Michael is ready jump his ass off a roof. The kids are crying and need help. What can they do? Enter Mary Poppins, from the clouds. She shows up throwing shade and her witch powers around. She even looks in mirrors saying to herself “I woke up like this, flawless”. Wow Crazy! Later she meets up with Lin-Manuel Miranda and he is a street lamp lighter. Now do what! Anyway they are trying to think of ways to make a buck to pay the rent all while fuckin with cartoon horses. In the end they all get High? Then fly away.

Okay this movie was a lot of fun, crazy and yes depressing. Emily does a great job as Mary Poppins, you buy her floating ass. She throws the right amount of shade on everyone. The kids from the first movie are giving it you. Ben Whishaw really is a great actor and it gets real and sad. The new kids are fun not annoying. The songs aren’t as catchy as the first movie though. They are cute though. Lin-Manuel Miranda is in it a lot. It almost takes away from Mary at times. He even does some of the rapping he does from the Hamilton. It’s the wrong time frame for all that though. So you are aware of it happening and it’s too much. I love all the animation in it, it really felt like the characters of the old Poppins. It really is fun and I do like the depressing shit too. It’s a good lesson for children today. Yes, bitch the rent is due.

 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Emily Blunt was great in the movie. She made a good Poppins and I believed it.

B. Lin-Manuel Miranda is a great performer, but it felt like he was in it a lot more and Mary should have been in it the most. 

C. This song was fun, but No I can’t imagine.

D. Ben Whishaw  really is an amazing actor. I love him in films and TV. There is a realness to him and even sadness at times that I love.

E. Dick Van DykeAngela Lansbury and Meryl Streep show up for shits and giggles.

F. Nobody beats Julie Andrews she was like made of real magic. But Emily does a good job.

G. I loved this new age Mary Poppins. Called Nanny 911. Amazing

H. Classy

 

“Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” or “I AM SPIDERMAN!” – my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse“. Spider-Man is back but better than ever! Well it’s not the Spider-Man we have seen a million times and heard the back story too. It’s another Spider-Man, and there are bunch of Spider-People. It starts off with teen Miles Morales and he is the Spider-Man of his reality not Peter Parker. It shows how he gets turned into a Spider-Man and how the bad guys fuck with different dimensions and it brings 5 other different Spider-Man and Woman to the table. They all have to find a way to work together to stop the bad guys from destroying every dimension.

Okay this movie is great. WHAT THE FUCK! Spider-Man is interesting again. Why? Because there are all kinds of Spider-Men and Woman. I was excited watching this movie. Peni Parker and Spider-Ham are amazing. I died with they showed up. The animation was nuts! The dialogue was witty and funny. You really love all the characters and the story. It was just so much fun to watch. The best part is by the end you feel like you could be a Spider-Man too, because maybe anyone can be Spider-Man. Not just a straight white nerd. It really is a movie for the 2018. You will love it and kids will too. The guys who wrote the Lego Movie wrote this movie and it shows. They know how to write and it’s genuinely smart and funny. Some of the best dialogue in any movie this year. Live action or Animated. Okay check this movie out you will love even if you don’t know who Spider-Man is.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Shameik Moore played Miles and he is great. I hope he becomes a live action version too.

B. Phil Lord (The Lego Movie) and Rodney Rothman (22 Jump Street) wrote it. So it’s entertaining and funny and smart. The are great!

C. Hailee Steinfeld played Gwen, another cool Spider-Woman. She was also in “Bumblebee”.

D. Kimiko Glenn played Peni Parker and I love this character. I was like OMFG! She has a robot with a spider that rides inside. So amazing.

E. Lily Tomlin played Aunt May and I love Lily in anything even animated.

F. Spider Pig had me floored. I can’t with this fuckin pig!

G. Daniel Pemberton (The Dark Crystal: Age of ResistanceBlack MirrorMolly’s Game)  composed the score. It was great. Take a listen.

H. This poster is great for your wall.

Top Ten Movies of 2018! Well My Top 20, Calm Down!

Here is a list of my top films of 2018 that I loved and the reviews for each one are underneath. You may agree or disagree. Who cares make your own list or let me know one that I may have missed and I will watch that shit and add it to the list. It was an Okay year for movies. There was some fun stuff and some weird and different ones too. What’s on the list may surprise or you may have never been surprised before in your life. I have learned that your favorite movies of each year are the ones you will watch over and over. Maybe the critics didn’t like it, maybe they seem silly, or maybe you follow the crowd/reviewers. Just be honest with yourself and shit you like blah blah blah. Love what you love. I would watch all these movies again and maybe even again and again. Don’t be a grumpy bitch who says “There are no new ideas anymore in Hollywood” or “Everything sucks” etc. You ain’t cool bitch, or get your ass up and make your own films. Do something new. 🙂 Here they are! Remember my full reviews are underneath each one. Some are still being written.

  1. Hereditary– This movie is incredible. It’s scary and beautiful. The score and acting in it is amazing. It’s my favorite movie of the year.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/06/12/hereditary-or-true-horror-is-family-my-fuckin-review/

2. Halloween 2018- I love Michael Myers and Laurie Strode. Maybe it wasn’t what fans wanted but I loved it and the score. I will be watching this one in the future many times.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/10/25/halloween-2018-or-the-year-of-halloween-my-fuckin-review/

3. Crazy Rich Asians– I really felt happy after this movie. I was happy about the movie and the cast in it.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/10/17/crazy-rich-asians-or-the-feel-good-movie-of-the-year-my-fuckin-review/

4. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Honestly this movie had the best dialogue of any film this year. It was cool, smart, fun, and made you like superhero movies again.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2019/01/04/spider-man-into-the-spider-verse-or-i-am-spiderman-my-fuckin-review/

5. Boy Erased– This movie is great but sad as hell and maybe someone will learn something about people by watching it.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2019/01/15/boy-erased-or-religion-is-terrible-my-fuckin-review/

6. The Night Comes for Us– This movie gave it to you. The choreography in this movie is mind-blowing. It’s just fun, real and gory movie.

7. Love, Simon– I wasn’t sure I would even like this movie, but it’s great to see a Hollywood LGBT story on the big screen that was good and entertaining.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/04/25/love-simon-or-a-gay-teens-coming-of-age-out-story-my-fuckin-review/

8. Boarding School– You haven’t heard of this movie, but it’s so weird and fucked up and I loved it.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/12/31/boarding-school-or-what-the-fuck-school-my-fuckin-review/

9. If Beale Street Could Talk– You are living these people’s lives. You feel what they feel and the directing is great.

10.It’s Nun of Your Goddamn Business– Get ready for the craziest movie of the year. I have never seen something so weird and amazing! Here is a link to watch it.

also this masterpiece! I can’t believe they finally told the story of Ben Trammer. Wow I am floored. You can watch it here for free.

Here are the fun runners-up!

  1. Bumblebee listen this movie is a lot of fun with a teen girl as the lead and the Transformers look the way we wanted them to look. I loved it. Also I hate the Michael Bay Transformer movies. So this was a happy change.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/12/18/bumblebee-or-freeform-network-presents-bumblebee-my-fuckin-review/

2. Teen Titans Go! To the Movies Are you kidding me! This movie is fun and witty and really the best superhero movie of the year. The dialogue is amazing. I know you like the old Teen Titans etc etc.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/08/22/teen-titans-go-or-the-best-super-hero-movie-this-year/

3.Eighth Grade This movie is better than I thought it would be, mainly because of the director. It was real and sad and really felt like a documentary at times. Yes 8th grade sucked.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/12/31/eighth-grade-or-life-is-terrible-for-teens-my-fuckin-review/

4. BlacKkKlansman Real life is fucked up. This true story really was interesting, entertaining and hopefully someone learned something about racism. A must watch.

5. Mary Poppins Returns Listen I love Mary Poppins even those she is shady as fuck. This movie takes a minute to process, but it was nuts and happy.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2019/01/14/mary-poppins-returns-or-hey-mary-the-rent-is-due-my-fuckin-review/

6. Ben Is Back A Christmas story on drugs and the sadness that comes with it. Julia Roberts cursing people out is great.

7. Creed II I love the Rocky movies and I love the Creed movies and the direction they went in.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/12/15/creed-2-or-the-dragos-are-back-my-fuckin-review/

8. Sorry to Bother You Wow this movie had a lot to say and left you fucked up on the way out.

9.Black Panther I mean I guess Superhero movies are part of our lives now, but at least this one gave you shit you have never seen before and characters that need to be seen.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/03/27/black-panther-or-wakanda-forever-my-fuckin-review/

10. Ready Player One Listen Steven has lost the magic over the years, but this one got me excited. I loved looking for all the hidden characters, and it really was fun to watch.

https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2018/04/16/ready-player-one-or-take-me-to-the-porn-oasis-my-fuckin-review/

 

 

 

 

 

“Boarding School” or “What the Fuck School” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Boarding School“. The film is about this kid named Jacob who is into his dead grandmother’s clothes and life. He wears her dresses when his parents aren’t home. One day they catch his ass and send him to a boarding school. The boarding school is creepy and scary and weird as fuck. There he meets other kids who have different types of problems. Think X-Men but kids with problems and issues and not powers. The people who run the Boarding School are crazy and weir too. Crazy shit goes down and it’s a crazy ass ending you didn’t see coming.

Okay I liked this movie a lot, because it’s weird and different. You really have no idea what is going on but in a good way. You are like What the FUCK! The cast does a good job selling the craziness and subtle scares. I think I was just surprised by it all. It’s rated R too for violence and cursing. I didn’t expect that either. Even Jacob begin obsessed by his dead grandmother and her clothes. I was interested in all that. There are people even getting killed in this. It really is this weird indie horror romp. These kids gave it to you. If you want to see something you don’t expect that is weird, crazy, spooky, violent, and interesting then this is the movie for you. It was for me. I want to watch it again.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Luke Prael  (Eighth Grade) was great as this weird ass kid. He was creepy and sold that shit.

B. Directed by Boaz Yakin  (Remember the TitansMax) I have never seen his other films, but this one is nuts.

C. Boarding schools are scary as fuck.

D. Sterling Jerins (The Conjuring 2) was great in this. Mean and fucked up!

 

E. I mean look! WTF!

F. I hope this director keeps making violent crazy shit.

G. What a crazy ass poster. It’s great though.

 

“Eighth Grade” or “Life is Terrible for Teens” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Eighth Grade“. This film is about a teenage girl named Kayla in the 8th grade in the year 2018. This is what it looks like for a girl in the last week of school in the 8th grade. She is not sure of herself and shy and has acne. It’s a look at what teen girls go through. Their happiness and sadness throughout the day. Their life on social media and how it’s all-consuming. Kayla even tries to talk to the school hottie and he doesn’t really care either. Basically everyone in the 8th grade is a mess popular or not. Trying to figure out who they are and where they are going.

Okay so this movie really is entertaining. It feels real and almost like a documentary. Elsie Fisher does a great job as Kayla, she is awkward and weird and you believe it. Bo Burnham did a great job directing this film, I wasn’t sure I would like it because what does a straight white dude know about a teenage girls plight. Maybe that’s the thing in 8th grade everyone is dealing with similar issues. Shit who knows. You really feel sad for her and her life, but at the same time you have hope for her etc. Anyways you will enjoy watching this film and you might learn something about teenagers today, or if you watch 10 years from now you will see how they were in 2018.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Elsie Fisher was great in this movie, acne and all.

B. Bo Burnham Although I like this movie I am still not sure what I think of him. He has said shit over the years as a comedian I don’t agree with. He says homophobic and racist slurs on a stage to make fun of people who use those slurs, but I don’t need a straight white boy to tell me shit about either.

C. They played Enya. I love this song.

D. Luke Prael was the dude she liked. This guy will probably be a big start one day.

E. At a screening in San Francisco, director Bo Burnham said he originally intended for all the young characters to communicate with one another over Facebook. When his star, Elsie Fisher, saw his script, however, she said, “No one uses Facebook.” He then made that a line in the movie and had the characters use Instagram and Snapchat instead.

F. These two girls don’t give a teen shit.

G. This is a very indie poster.