“Thor: Ragnarok” or “Thor: Let’s Just Have Fun Bitch!” – my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Thor: Ragnarok“. This time Thor is back and he has to fight an emo Cate Blanchett! She is pissed and has antlers and shit. So Thor and his brother Loki get tossed to another planet where Jeff Goldblum is the ruler. There Thor is forced to fight The Hulk and the comedy and craziness pops off. The Hulk is walking around naked. Finally, give the audience what they want to see. Green ass! Now they all have to go fight Cate on Thor’s planet. It’s the big showdown on Thor’s world to the music of Led Zeppelin. Honeslty, you will be happy!

Okay so this movie is insane and fun as hell. The cast looked like they were having as much fun making it as you were watching it. Everybody was in on the jokes. I mean these worlds are insane, how can they not poke fun at all the bullshit. It was directed by Taika Waititi and he did an amazing job with it. It’s like, yes have all the action and adventure and all that shit, but we want the characters to get the joke like we are. We want to see Hulk’s ass instead of us just joking about it each movie. Let the characters be over-the-top and witty and not so serious all the time. Even the score was the best Marvel had to offer because it was weird and different. Mark Mothersbaugh gave it to you. Let the composers do their job and do something interesting. Not the same old generic action shit we have heard the past 10 films. This was for sure the best Thor movie, and also one of the best Marvel movies, because it was nuts, crazy, funny, and fun. Don’t miss this one you will love it. I will watch it again and laugh.

The trailer:

The Facts:

A. First of all this. Hulks ass was in this movie. I am still trying to find a real pic of it from the film still.

B. This film was directed by Taika Waititi (What We Do in the ShadowsFlight of the Conchords ). He also plays Korg in the movie. He is great. 

He was also Tom Kalmaku in the 2011 Green Lantern movie.

C. Cate Blanchett was the best drag queen this year.

D. Jeff Goldblum should get an Oscar.

E. I do love this song by Led Zeppelin

F. This is Marvel movies best score. Listen to this and agree. It’s original and fun and memorable. Not generic at all. Mark Mothersbaugh composed it (Pee-wee’s Big HolidayThe Lego Movie21 Jump StreetBig LoveRugratsThe Royal Tenenbaums). He is the lead singer of Devo.

G. Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston are a cool duo in this movie.

H. Tessa Thompson was great in this movie and her characters was Bisexual but they cut it out. I guess it was too much for straight ass audiences to know there are other sexualities in the universe. 

http://www.slashfilm.com/valkyrie-bisexual-thor-ragnarok/

thor-ragnarok-tessa-thompson.jpg

I. This poster is amazing. The color on this poster and the film. Yes!

“The Babysitter” or “The Best Babysitter Ever” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “The Babysitter“.  Okay this is a McG movie but before you turn into a bitch about it. I love “Charlie’s Angels” and “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle“. Fuck everyone! They are fun rollercoaster films. You just ride them and laugh and do not over analyze the wood. Okay so the Babysitter starts off with a boy named Cole who is too old to have a babysitter, because he is still scared and shit. His babysitter, Bee, is cool and hot. They are also really best friends when they hang out and have a great time. She is the best babysitters ever. Until he stays up passed his bedtime and he finds out she is fuckin with Satanic Sacrifices in the living room with her friends. Now Cole is trying to survive but in a smart ass way until the end. Will he live? Will he join her? Will you find out why that dude has his shirt off?

Okay this movie is fun and funny as fuck! I love everyone in this movie. Cole and Bee are like a best friend duo you want to see in 10 films. They really do a great job setting them up as not just baby and babysitter but also friends as well. When shit derails you can tell they are still friends but have to deal with the cards on the table. They don’t all of sudden hate each other. They never make Cole seem like a dumb kid or Bee like a mega evil bitch. Just shit they both gotta deal with to survive. Even in the end shit has to go the way it does. Honestly say what you want about director McG, but he has fun as a director. The rest of the cast is over-the-top and fun and you will love them too. The music in the film is great also and they picked the right composer. Honestly this movie was so much fun to watch and I can’t wait to watch it again. There is a new trend in Horror movies this year with weirdly happy/fun plots but graphic/multiple death scenes. Almost like positive horror movies. I have heard it called “Millennial Horror” I hate that name. I’m into it the films though. Like this film or “Happy Death Day” or Tragedy Girls“.  Feel good horror movies with a violent twist. You can watch this on Netflix right now and you should.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Judah Lewis played Cole and he was great. He will be in a bunch of shit from here on out. He sold that shit. 

B. They played Peaches. So yes.

C. Samara Weaving was fun and cool as Bee. 

D. McG directed this movie he also did Charlie’s Angels and Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. I loved both those movies fuck you!

E. Their friendship was a lot of fun. You wished you had it. They were a cool duo.

F. This cast was great.

G. Douglas Pipes composed the score. It was a hoot too bitch. He also composed Trick ‘r TreatKrampusMonster House. So fun shit!

H. We made some Satanic comedies in 2010. Here are the links. They are pretty great!

I. This poster is fuckin great.

What I did for Halloween 2017!

Here is what I did during Halloween 2017. I keep a log of what I did so that I can look back and see years later. Also to make sure that I did enough to make Samhain happy. Thanks to all who celebrated Halloween with me.

  1. We had a Halloween meeting to plan stuff in August.

2. Tied “IT” Balloons on the street.

Watch here!

3. Went to see Suspiria in the theater.

4. Went to see “It.

5. Watched “Poltergeist”.

6. Max and I made a new video series called “Just Give Me The Deetz” dressed as Lydia Deetz.

7. Decorated my front door.

8. Painted coffins and watched Pet Cemetery.


9. Watched Scream 2 and took pics!

10. We went to FEAR THE WOODS haunted house/trail.

Our “Just Give Me The Deetz” video got reposted by FEAR THE WOODS too.

11. We we to see Halloween in the theater.

12. I explained “Curses” on Adult Swim.

13. Creepy Co. Shared my Halloween pic!

14. Got a message from someone from youtube about a video I put up 10 years ago from Salem on Halloween.

“I don’t know how often you check this and if you’ll ever see this, but just wanted to let you know your video “Magic Pumpkin Man” has brought so much joy to my friend and I for the past 10 years lol. I came across it on YouTube while looking up Nightmare Before Christmas clips in 07 and every year around Halloween we send it to each other. It is really the glue keeping our long distance friendship going. So just wanted to thank you and please don’t ever delete it. It is hilarious and the best Halloween masterpiece I’ve ever seen. Happy Halloween!”

Wow who knew. It’s only a few seconds long. haha

15. Went to Camp Blood

16. Watched Beetlejuice!

17. Went to see Monster Squad!

18. Went to see Happy Death Day!

19. Went to a Cabin for Friday the 13th Weekend!

Here is the video for it.

20. Went to Nightmare’s Gate Haunted House

21. Went so the THE CRAFT!

22. Went to see CHRISTINE!

23. Went to the Grant Park Halloween Lantern Parade

24. Went to a Spooky Tales Party at Eli and Diana’s.

25. Was in the Little 5 Points Halloween Parade.

Dressed at Wonder Pickle. 
Here is everyone from the Adult Swim Float. 

We bought 1,000 dollars worth of candy for it.

I was in the Creative Loafing biting my lip.

We streamed it live on Adult Swim.

Here is the link to watch it : Click Here!

26. We carved Pumpkins.

27. Here is my pumpkin for 2017.

28. We made costumes on Assembly Line Yeah on Adult Swim!

Watch the episode here:

Click this to watch episode

30. Was on Swap Shop with Zach, Adam and Sasha on Adult Swim with a Halloween Special as Sonny the Shark.

Here is a link for the show:Click here for show!

 

31. Went to Goth Nite in my first costume. The Grim Reaper of 2017.

It was inspired by this pin Max Fisher sent me a pic of and the maker of it tagged me in his pos when I posted me in it.

 

32. Here is my Halloween costume for 2017. The Georgia Patch King 1817.

33. Went to Mary’s Halloween party.

Here is the video!

34. Went to Joey W.’s Halloween Party TERROR ON GRANT PARK.

35. Made tombstones on Assembly Line for Adult Swim.

Here is a link to watch the episode: Click this!

37. Put out our Halloween night pumpkin.

38. Gave out candy, to nobody. They didn’t show up.

IMG_6758.jpg

39. Here is a look at all the Halloween fun in a video!

 

 

 

Top 10 Horror Movies to Get A Blow Job During!

Here is a list of my top 10 horror movies to watch while getting a blow job during. You can also be the one giving the blow job.

  1. Halloween II – This film is great to get a BJ in. The music is great and mood is great. The scene where the nurse and Ambulance driver Budd are making out in the therapy tub is a great place to do it too.

2. Scream– Boner alert! You are going to want a BJ all night with this flick! Neve Campbell, Drew Barrymore, Courteney Cox, and Rose McGowan are all in this movie! Plus you know you will want to be in a Skeet Ulrich and Matthew Lillard sandwich! 

3. The Craft– This movie is full of witch BJs like Fairuza Balk and also if you want to get crazy, Skeet Ulrich is in this too.

4. Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles– This is your gateway bisexual blowjob. This movie has a lot of Bi-Vamps running around and maybe you want to play it cool cuz you got a girlfriend, but you want her to suck it while looking a boy vamps kiss and not tell her, well then this is the movie for you.

5. Hellraiser– All that leather will surely get the blood pumping in that peen, also Julia bangs Frank on her wedding dress.

6. An American Werewolf in London– Werewolves are hot and there is a lot of nudity in this film. You will want a BJ while laying on a fur rug during this film.

7. From Dusk Till Dawn– Who doesn’t want a BJ while watching Satanico dance around holding a snake. You can pretend it’s Salma Hayek holding your snake.

8. Elvira: Mistress of the Dark– This whole movie is a BJ fest. Big boobies everywhere. You will want a BJ the entire run time of this film.

9. Beetlejuice– Say his name 3 times and he will give you that BJ. You can pretend you are Lydia Deetz and really get freaky.

10. The Witches of Eastwick – 3 hot witches looking for love! You you know you will want a BJ during this movie. Especially with Cher, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer running around.

I hope you enjoyed this list and I hope you get head soon while watching these movies, or give it to someone while they watch them. Bj’s are the new “Hello” these days so go say Hello to some for Halloween now. What’s a movies am I missing?

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One of my favorite pumpkin pics of my good friend John banging it.

“Happy Death Day” or “The Feel Good Slasher Movie of the Year” my fuck review

Here is my review for “Happy Death Day“. A slasher movie with a heart of gold. The movie begins with a girl named Tree starting her birthday out waking up in some guys bed in a dorm room. She is hung over and moody. She heads to her sorority and goes through the day and ends up getting chased and killed by someone wearing a baby mask. Then is surprised when she wakes back up in the same guys dorm room again from that morning. Starting the whole goddamn day over again. She has deja vu all day and the killer shows up again and kills her in a different way. The movie gets more nuts and nuts as she gets killed all kinds of ways over and over again. Will she every get out of this crazy ass Groundhog Day! Will she find out who the killer is? Will she love the guy in the dorm room?

Okay this movie is nuts! You see her ass get murdered so many times, but it’s a lot of fun and funny too. Jessica Rothe plays Tree and she was great, somebody put her ass in more horror movies ASAP. She is a scream queen for sure. I loved her! Her mix of comedy and terror was a deal sealer! Israel Broussard was the dorm room guy and her love interest and he was cool too. They made a cool team. By the end of the film you really dug both of them and wanted them to live. You even felt that Tree learned something about life and how to be a better person and shit. It really was the feel good movie of the year. They did a great job balancing horror with emotions. Usually it’s just body count, but since it’s just her body dying on loop you get to know her and like her. Also you got your slasher feel too. Think crazy death scenes like in “Friday the 13th”. If you are looking for a fun/funny slasher horror film this is it. I love it and I loved the crazy way all the shit played out. It was a cool idea for a horror film and it’s worth the watch. 

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Jessica Rothe (She was in La La Land  as somebody?) plays Tree. A weird ass name but I guess you remember it. I love her in it. I hope she pops in more horror movies. Make her the new Scream Queen she is fun and memorable as fuck. Look at all her looks in this movie. 

B. Here is the killers mask. It was the colleges teams mask.

C. Christopher Landon directed this movie. He directed Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones and wrote DisturbiaParanormal Activity 2, 3 and 4. His father is Michael Landon from Little House on the Prairie.

Also Scott Lobdell wrote this movie. He wrote the X-Men (TV Series) 1993- 1996. WTF!

D. You will learn how to learn how to live your shitty life better.

E. Israel Broussard (The Bling Ring , Fear the Walking Dead) plays the cute dude Carter. He was good too for what he played. 

F. There is another cool Birthday horror movie.

With an amazing theme song!!!!

G, The score is composed by Bear McCreary (Terminator: The Sarah Connor ChroniclesBattlestar GalacticaThe Walking Dead) and it was fun. I like his stuff.

H. 2 posters they are both cool as fuck.

 

“Kingsman: The Golden Circle” or “Kingsmess: Golden Character Collision of Alcoholism” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Kingsman: The Golden Circle“. Okay I loved  the first “Kingsman: The Secret Service” so I was excited to see this movie. Here is a link to my first review https://eddieraysmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/kingsman-the-secret-service-or-a-chav-james-bond-my-fuckin-review/

Okay so this movie starts off and Eggsy (Taron Egerton) is a full-blown spy now with a girlfriend (The princess at the end of the first movie). He is doing cartwheels and hanging from cars and shit. This time there is a group of bad guys called The Golden Circle ran by Julianne Moore that want to legalize drugs by killing people with drugs. What nowwww? Anyway the Kingsman have to get help from The Statesman, who are American spies that make whisky. Now they are teamed up with Channing Tatum and Halle Berry and a lot of Booze. Then Elton John shows up for comic relief over and over again, and Eggsy has to finger some girl and cheat on his future wife so that he can save the world. Yes, this is real. It’s a lot. In the end robot dogs show up, more Elton John and more booze. 

Okay so like I said I dug the first movie but this movie feels all over the place and there is a room full of stars that have nowhere to go. They are just standing around and bumping into each other with bad lines. Eggsy’s princess girlfriend should have been deleted. It’s just dumb and irritating. We get it people get married to dumb people. Then he fingers that girl and she is mad for an hour and then the wedding is still on. Like it really doesn’t matter? Huh? They even cut to Eggsy’s finger going inside the girl’s vagina in the movie. Ummmm What the fuck Haha.

I also honestly don’t know if they were pro drugs or anti drugs by the end of the film. Who the hell knows. I do know they were pro alcohol. There was booze everywhere. Tables, buildings, belt buckles, etc were designed after whisky products. Everything and everyone was drinking up Johnny. If you are a frat boy you will love this movie. Start a drinking game. Drink every time they drink or you see alcohol shit in it. I promise you will be dead or in the hospital 15 minutes into the movie. Meanwhile Elton John shows up for cameo joke. Then you are like okay whatever that’s cute. Then 10 times later I am like seriously. This shit ain’t funny. Also his dialogue was “fuck you” (sounds like my films, fuck you too). We get it you’re a bitch I guess, that somehow can fight like you are in the Matrix. Gross. Anyway yes I was disappointed in this movie and the more I think about it the more I dislike it. It was like a disorganized spy movie made by an 18-year-old frat boy who was drunk. So skip or wait for Netflix.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. I do think Taron Egerton is cool in stuff. In this one he doesn’t seem as at ease as the first one, but whatever.

B. If you are an alcoholic skip this movie. It is a non-stop booze ad. Honestly weirdly a lot.

Drink it up at Comic Con.

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-comic-con-2017-watch-halle-berry-kingsman-1500580488-htmlstory.html

They are going to release the Bourbon from the film too.

http://screencrush.com/kingsman-golden-circle-bourbon-featurette/

C. Julianne Moore even felt out-of-place in this movie. 

D. The whole character of Eggy’s character (Hanna Alström) should have been deleted. It was a waste of time. Kill her. 

E. Don’t tell me I have to sit through Elton John cursing people out every five minutes then having him flying through the fucking air in fight scenes and winking at the camera. If this interests you, then this is the movie for you. I wanted to walk out.

F. Channing Tatum aka Tequila was a waste of time too. He should have been in it more. He was wasted. There was a shot of him on the table and his bulge was huge I don’t know if this was real or supposed to be a joke?

G. Stars, Stars everywhere and plenty of booze to drink.