“Ouija” or “Don’t Fuck With That Board Honkey!” my fuckin review

My review for “Ouija“. Okay so basically this white girl starts fucking with a Ouija board, then it kills her ass. Then her best friends come in to contact her ass on the same board to see what happened to her. So then they get fucked with. Honestly that is about all that is going on in this film. It’s quiet and seems to never really go anywhere. I love that Lin Shaye is brought into all these horror movies now. She was in “Insidious” and “Insidious: Chapter 2“. I even liked the cast of this movie, but it just didn’t seem like there was much for them to do. Sitting around a table gets old after a while I guess. They have never seen “The Exorcist” I guess. In that movie Reagan gets possessed by the demon cuz she is fucking with the Ouija board alone. Also the same thing happens in the movie “Witchboard“. Learn a lesson bitch. Maybe it’s hard to make board games scary on film. So if you love a bunch of teens sitting around a Ouija board for an hour and half and looking serious and then some ghosts show up then check this movie out. If you have kids and or teens they may think it’s scary and it’s pretty PG. Wait for Netflix.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. What if the ghost can’t spell?

B. Before using a Ouija Board.

extended-tv-spot-for-the-horror-film-oujia

After using a Ouija Board

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C.  Here is me being interviewed about Ouija Boards.

http://scoutmob.com/atlanta/scoutfinds/6356

D. I like Olivia Cooke from “Bates Motel” and “The Quiet Ones“. She is fun and always seems real. Keep putting her in horror movies.

E. Shut up bitch!

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F. Watch “Witchboard” and learn.

G. White girls when they first get a Ouija and are trying to be cute. DEAD!

ouija film debbie finding board

H. This movie was directed by Stiles White. It’s the first movie he Directed.

I. The music is composed by Anton Sanko. He has done nothing memorable yet.

J. I guess it’s to the point.

ouija-movie-poster

Halloween 2014 in Review!

Here is my 2014 Halloween in review. This lists all the stuff I did this year for Halloween. I hope Samhain is pleased with my hard work bitch!

1. I worked my 5th year at Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse. This year is it’s final year. I got to work it with Marlinda Phillips. We played drunk party people looking for a dance party. Then zombies came out and killed us.

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2. Article on me and Ouija Boards on Scout Mob.

http://scoutmob.com/atlanta/scoutfinds/6356

3. I was in the Little 5 Points Halloween Parade with the Adult Swim float. I was a Demonic Carnival Banana. I also sang on the float.

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Video of Parade

4. Went to Jez and Doug’s Halloween Party as Zen Tuo from Scooby Doo. IMG_2861

4. Was a dead raver in Zombie Walk Atlanta 2014. Makeup by Shane Morton.

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Here is the video

5. Made a short film about a horse named Sparkle Hooves and his house being haunted.

6. Carved pumpkins with friends at Will and Max L’s new house.

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7. Participated in an Adult Swim live Q&A. Here is the link. Me talking about Halloween reached 196,416. BITCH!

https://www.facebook.com/adultswim/posts/10152763475096745

 

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8. Got Interviewed on GA Voice about Halloween. Here is the link to read.

 http://thegavoice.com/atlantas-halloween-king-rides/

9. Bump on Adult Swim

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10. Helped promote and dance my ass off at the Monster Bash Halloween Party. There I dressed as a mutant version of my Zen Tuo costume that Shane Morton made me.

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11.Halloween Costume 2014. Zen Tuo was my main costume this year.

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“Annabelle” or “White People Buy A Demon Doll And Get Fucked By It” my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Annabelle“. Okay so this is a prequel to “The Conjuring“, which I loved. That film is based on a true story, this prequel is not. Which kinda sucks, but whatever. Okay so the film starts off with this white couple that is happily married, go to church, and have a baby. Their neighbor’s daughter is in a Manson (Charles) type cult and comes home for revenge one night, but dies in the white couples house. After she dies her satanic spirit jumps its ass into the doll.  The girl’s name is Annabelle and so is the dolls now. Then shit starts to pop off,  no literally the jiffy pop popcorn almost burns their crib down. So they say “fuck it” and move out and go to live in an apartment building. There more shit breaks off and Annabelle is pissed. Now there is a big ass demon running around licking ass and taking names. Then the mom who looks like Quinn Fabray from “Glee“, but is not , but should have been her, makes friends with Alfre Woodard. Afre knows about demons and shit. Meanwhile this priest is driving Annabelle around for snacks. In the end white people live in happiness at the expense (life) of an African-American woman. Think the horror version of the movie “THE HELP”. So yeah I mean this ain’t no “The Conjuring”. It’s not a “True” story and the story the made up is slow, boring and racist. So if you love “The Conjuring” and “Insidious” you will probably not like this movie. Yes, there are a couple of cool scares in it. The demon running around is spooky dookie for sure, but he is it. Wait tip Netflix to watch this movie.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. In the Annabelle true story, the real Annabelle doll was given as a birthday present by a mother to her daughter, Donna, a nursing student who was turning 28. Donna’s mother purchased the antique Raggedy Ann Doll from a hobby store in 1970. The Annabelle movie focuses on the vintage doll’s existence prior to Donna’s mother purchasing it second-hand at the hobby store, offering a fictional account of how the demon could have entered the doll.

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Fake doll/ Real doll

B. I’m not ending my life so that a white couple with a baby can be happy. Fuck them and you and that demon. I would just leave. Alfre only knew them for a goddamn week. Shut the fuck up! The audience booed when that shit happened.

C. This doll ain’t scary to me. The real “Raggedy Ann” doll is scary as shit.

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D. Lorraine Warren is a hero to us all. Here she is hanging with the REAL Annabelle.

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E. If you buy an ugly ass doll it is probably haunted.

F. Annabelle looks like Glen from the movie “Seed of Chucky“. Glenn is Chucky’s son. I love Glen.

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Glen/Glenda on left. Annabelle on right.

G. Lock your doors and keep holy water handy. Just in your life period. I do.

H. Joseph Bishara played the demonic figure which is scary. He also played the Lipstick-Face Demon in “Insidious” and Bathsheba in “The Conjuring“. Also he composed this movies score as well as the films “Insidious” and “The Conjuring”. He scores are creepy as fuck and I dig them all.

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I. Me and Isaac wearing Annabelle masks.

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J. This movie was directed by John R. Leonetti (Mortal Kombat: AnnihilationThe Butterfly Effect 2). Both of those films are a mess.

K. Quinn Fabray from “Glee”- IS NOT in this movie!

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Quinn Fabray from “Glee”- NOT in the movie!

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This FAKE Quinn Fabray that is in the movie!

L. The poster. It’s cute.

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“Oculus” or “The Mirror is Evil, Bitch”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Oculus“. Okay the film is about this family that moves into a new house. A dad, two kids (brother and sister) and the mom Starbuck. They decide to buy this big fucked up evil mirror for their modest house. The dad puts it in his home office and then shit starts going wrong. Evil shit pops off and Starbuck gets uglier and uglier each day. People are eventually killed and the two kids grow up (Karen Gillan and Brenton Thwaites) dramatized as fuck. Now the sister decides to find the mirror again and bring it back to their childhood home to see if activates again or maybe she wants revenge on it? Who knows. So her and the brother are now seeing shit and doing crazy shit cuz the mirror is evil. In the end a demonic mirror will always win over twenty somethings with no training on how to shut demons down. Okay so big ass mirrors aren’t really scary to me. There were a couple of moments that might make you jump, but the mirror keeps playing tricks on everyone in the film and that gets a little old. I love horror movies and I know that people do stupid shit in them a lot, but everyone hates that so why do it? I forgive the parents for buying the ugly ass mirror because they don’t have any taste, and they didn’t know it was evil. The grown up kids are just stupid though and get what they deserve. Why? Because the mirror killed people they loved and they watched it do fucked up shit  and now you want to bring it back and look into it again. Shut up. Fuck that mirror, fuck demon Starbuck and fuck those kids. I would have burned the house down and never worried about finding the mirror again. So if you love mirrors, demon Starbuck, white people doing stupid shit, flashbacks, and glowing eyes this movie is for you. It was not for me, watch it for free on Netflix one night.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Demon Starbuck (Katee Sackhoff). Is she scary?

Oculus-Katee-Sackoff

B. Mike Flanagan directed this move (Absentia).

C. Never buy a creepy ass mirror for your Ikea looking home.

D. The brother was also Prince Phillip in “Maleficent“. Now he is fighting demon mirrors. I wish he would have fought the mirror as Prince Phillip.

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This Queen

Oculus-Brenton-Thwaites

Now you gotta gun.

E. Never re-buy a creepy ass mirror if your parents were killed by it.

F. The score was composed by The Newton Brothers. It was boring and forgettable.

G. Here is a poll for you to take.

H. Don’t think you can outsmart a demon or demon mirror. They are smarter than you. They are eternal or some shit. You have been alive for like 20 years and watched MTV and Vines and shit. You are dumb bitch.

I. Fuck revenge when it involves a demonic mirror. You will lose bitch.

J. Honestly look at this mirror. What the fuck did you think was going to happen.

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K. Hahaha

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“Sin City: A Dame to Kill For” or “Sin Titty: A Mean Girl With Nice Boobs”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For“. I love the first “Sin City” and it came out in 2005.  So this one just seems a day late or 9 years late. Okay so this movie is much like the first one, except it is a prequel in some ways and a sequel in other ways. It really does fit well with the first movie. The film is about multiple characters that live in a place called Sin City. In Sin City sex, death and murder are happening on the daily. Just like the first one there are a lot of fun over-the-top characters that feel like a Robert Rodriguez film. There are also a lot of crazy ass violence and neato action scenes. It really is a cool film and if you watch part 1 and 2 together they will make a lot of sense as a mega movie. The biggest problem is that feels dated. The first one is 9 years old, so I am not sure who is still interested. If it would have come out a year after the first one did we would have been more on board with it. If you can get over that then you will dig this movie for sure. I really did enjoy it and will buy it for sure. I don’t think it’s doing well and that’s a shame, but I think it has to do with the first one coming out in 2005. So if you love Robert Rodriguez, Marv, Jessica Alba, Eva Green with green eyes, violence, black n white, boobs, and Frank Miller then you will love this movie. I will buy it for sure.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller directed this. I love Robert’s films. They are just fun and over-the-top.

B. Marv (Mickey Rourke) is the best character in these films.

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C. These movies really are fun to watch. This one just seems dated. If you love part one you will love this one too.

D. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is great in anything or any role.

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E. I go to see ever Robert Rodriguez movie because they entertain the shit out of me.

F.Eva Green is amazing in this movie. She is a mean bitch and it’s amazing.

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G. I guess they will not make a part 3 to this.

H. Miho is a true hero.

Sin City 2

I. This poster is hot as fuck.

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What to do in Atlanta for Halloween 2014! (Haunted Houses, Halloween Attractions, Events, Movies, Songs, Blu Rays, Etc.)

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Me as a Swamp Witch

My name is Eddie Ray, and yes, I am in love with Halloween. So I’m happy to live in a HALLOWEEN TOWN like ATLANTA, GEORGIA! People call me the “King of Halloween” and “The hardest working man on Halloween”, but really I’m just a Halloween Kid, and while some of you just “like” the season of Halloween I literally believe in it. There is a big difference. I work for its success and break my neck to see that it’s a hit in Atlanta each year. I start celebrating September 1st and then it ends for me November 1st. True Halloween Kids always start Halloween on Sept. 1st. Two whole months you bitches! When all of you are sitting around by the pool drinking Long Island Ice Teas in the summer, my ass is waiting for the autumn wind to blow to let me know Halloween is near! OK I just want to say that Halloween is not about about the money, it’s about the spirit of the season and the fun of it all. To dress up, dance, sing and be scared for a couple of months. It’s all inclusive and for everyone. Black, white, male, female, old, young, gay or straight. Halloween is a happy time and should be shared by all. Nobody owns it, and nobody should. True Halloween Kids will always help each other out during Halloween, posers can stay home.  Ok that being said here are some fun things to do, some fun movies to watch, and some fun things to listen to on a spooky ass Halloween night in Atlanta. This page will be updated as new events come up or change.

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Me as a gangster on left.

HERE IS SOME PROOF THAT I LOVE HALLOWEEN BITCH!

Me interviewed in Atlanta Retro:

 http://atlretro.com/2012/10/19/eddieray/

Scout Mob ghost hunt with me:

 http://scoutmob.com/atlanta/scoutfinds/4595?referrer=smATLfbart

Scout Mob Quija Board with me:

http://scoutmob.com/atlanta/scoutfinds/6356

Bumps of me in my Halloween costumes on Adult Swim:

http://www.bumpworthy.com/bumps/3892

http://www.bumpworthy.com/bumps/1151

http://www.bumpworthy.com/bumps/5640

http://www.bumpworthy.com/bumps/4303

http://www.bumpworthy.com/bumps/7259

I was interviewed about Halloween: 

http://aisforatlanta.com/2011/10/eddie-ray-atlantas-king-of-halloween/

http://davidatlanta.com/2011/09/spotlight-eddie-ray-the-king-of-halloween/

http://atlretro.com/2012/10/19/eddieray/

I was on the news about Halloween: 

http://www.11alive.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=204714

You can see more Halloween videos that I film on here: 

https://vimeo.com/ebolaent

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Me as the Green Ghost from Scooby Doo

Lets talk about Haunted Attractions/ Haunted Houses first:

1. Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse - (www.atlantazombie.com): I work in this one, and I play…. well it’s a secret. I do help you fight off zombies in a Return of The Living Dead style horror movie, with clues, parties and pretty ladies!!!! You are literally running for your life and its exciting and scary as hell. Turns out I am really good at this shit. I have done it for 4 years in a row and this is my 5th year. Yes, we are the zombie capital of the world now. It’s a zombie hell in Atlanta! Take a look at the video. This is our 5th year.

There is also an Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse movie that I co-wrote. Here is the trailer. It is at a film festival near you!

2. Chambers of Horror – (www.chambersofhorroratl.com): This was the first haunted attraction I worked in and it’s adult themed, scary, FUCKED UP, and amazing. Check this Rated X haunt out for a good time and maybe a turn on. This is there 6th year!

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3. 13 Stories Haunted House- (http://www.13storieshauntedhouse.com): This haunted attraction has been open since 1984 in Newnan, GA. It is one my favorite haunted attractions to visit. I’m glad to say over the years I have become friends with a lot of them. This year Horror Hill and 13 Stories Haunted House have combined and moved into a new 54,000 square foot location in Newnan, GA! So get ready for an all new show. Watch me and my friends here to see. 

Trailer:

Me there:

4. Camp Blood  - (www.campblood.com): I love the Friday the 13th films, creepy woods,and blood. So if you love those things as much as me then this is the haunted trail for you. You even go in out of houses and cabins there. City folks beware of hillbillies and rednecks there!

5. Uncle Shucks Corn Maze  - (www.uncleshucks.com): I go here to get lost in a gigantic spooky corn maze at night. It is huge and you can even buy a pumpkin here. Remember to take friends who will have fun with you here. Kid like personalities are a must, pretentious hipsters should probably stay home they will just irritate you.

6. Nightmare Gate Haunted House (http://nightmaresgate.com/) This one I have not been to but I am excited to check out!

7. Haunted Hill House of Horror- (http://www.hauntedhillhouseofhorror.com) The Haunted Hill House of Horror is open every Friday and Saturday night and Halloween night in October. Times are from dusk-11:30 pm. You may also join us for our first annual Great Pumpkin Haunted Festival Sat. Oct. 26, with the most unique vendors, entertainment, zombie contest, food and more. The Festival starts at 11:00 am to 8:00pm with the Haunted House opening right afterward.

8. Fear The Woods- (http://fearthewoods.com ) I have not been to this one. Looks fun.

9. Paranoia Haunted House - (http://www.paranoiahauntedhouse.com)  I have not been to this one, but would love to see.

10. Creepers Haunted House - (https://www.facebook.com/CreepersHaunt)- Always a fun ride.

11.Talmadge Brothers Funeral Home and Casket Company- (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Talmadge-Brothers-Funeral-Home-and-Casket-Company/137937482950159) In Jasper GA.

12. Gates of Misery -(http://gatesofmisery.com)-  Gates of Misery, formerly Haunting of the Seven Hills, is filled with torture, torment, zombies, and cannibals. See schedule. In Rome, Ga.

13. Scream on the Trail – (http://www.screamonthetrail.com)- Scream on the Trail is an outdoor trail that is full of startles and hardcore scares, Scream on the Trail full terror is not recommended for the easily scared….  Have kids or easily scared? Make sure to ask the gatekeeper for the kiddie scare version!

 

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Me as Martin the Crow Killer

 

Now lets talk about fun activities and events:

1. Nightmares Gate Haunted House 2014 Halloween Party - (Sept. 6th) Event Link: https://www.facebook.com/events/271963949677417/

Being Held on September 6th from 6:00 till Midnight here at Nightmares Gate Haunted House.. 4179 Vansant Rd, Douglasville, Georgia. We are hosting an early Halloween party for all the Halloween/haunted house addicts out there again this year, anyone and everyone welcome!!

2. Drive-Invasion 2014 at Turner Field - (Sept. 6th ) Event Link: https://www.facebook.com/events/760994733964497/

Drive-Invasion celebrates the American drive-in movie theatre and classic car culture. The all-day festival features The Silverscreen & Gasoline Car Show, Jim Stacyruck Midway, a massive Artist Market, vendors, 12 bands on 2 stages, kids zone and three classic creature features projected onto a 40-foot movie screen

3. MCW Wrestling- (Sept. 12th)-  Two of Atlanta’s favorite haunts (Chamber of Horrors and Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse) join forces to create… The Return of MCW! A night of Wrestling Monsters, Zombies, Gore and Horror! Bands, Broads and Booze!!! This event is gna launch the Halloween season Hardcore!!!

4. Anime Weekend Atlanta -(Sept. 26th – 28th) – (http://www.awa-con.com)- is a four-day Japanese Animation and comics convention held annually in Atlanta, Georgia. Go get your costumes there!

5. Georgia State Fair - (Sept. 26th - Oct. 5th) – (http://www.georgiastatefair.org) – See you at the State Fair!

6. Stone Mountain Pumpkin Festival- (Sept. 26th – Oct 26th- Friday and Sat. only) - (http://www.stonemountainpark.com/events/Pumpkin-Festival.aspx) “ONLY OPEN WEEKENDS. Make family memories this fall season at Stone Mountain Park’s 11th annual Pumpkin Festival. Enjoy fun-filled games and family shows such as “Pumpkinpalooza,” scavenger hunts and the Pumpkin Mash at the Mayor’s Rockin Costume Party.”

7. Atlanta Zombie Walk- (Oct 26th 2pm) – (www.facebook.com/groups/ZombieWalkAtlanta): Over 800 people get together and dress up as zombies and roam the streets of Atlanta and scare the hell out of people for the day! This event is a fuckin BLAST. I have had the honor of leading it 3 years in a row. Watch this video to see all the fun.

8. Walker Stalker Con- Oct. 17th- 19th (http://www.walkerstalkercon.com)

Groupon: http://www.groupon.com/deals/gl-walker-stalker-con-2014-1-9

9. Capturing The Spirit of Oakland Halloween Tour- (Oct. 17th – Oct. 25th)-  (http://www.oaklandcemetery.com/?event=capturing-the-spirit-of-oakland-halloween-tour-2014). Take a look at a video.

10. Little 5 Points Halloween Parade - (Sat. Oct. 18th)- (www.l5phalloween.com)- I have been in the Halloween parade for about 5 years now and it’s so much fun to dress up and walk down the streets of Little 5 Points in a creepy costume. Not to be missed, and if you can be in it then get in it! Watch here:

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11. Halloween Bar Crawls- (Oct. 24th- 31st).

12. Halloween at the museum- (Sat. Oct. 25th)- (http://www.fernbankmuseum.org/calendar-of-events/fernbank-boo-seum-trick-or-treat/) Follow the screams of excitment to Fernbank BOO-seum for a day of frightening-ly fun Halloween-themed activities including treats for kids in costume, games, music and more.

13. Spiralween party- (Sat. Oct . 25th)- (https://www.facebook.com/events/632574963449157/)- Get ready for the longest running, most sinister, shameful, supernaturally sexy Halloween Costume Party in Atlanta. We’re shaking it up this year with DJs all night long, featuring DJ Mami Chula from Power 96.1….yowzers!

14. Owl O’Ween Hot-air-balloon festival - (Sat. Oct. 25th and 26th)- (http://owl-o-ween.com)- features balloon rides, balloon glows, trick-or-treating, food, beer tents, vendors, and entertainers at Kennesaw State University.

15. Halloween martini party- (Oct. 25th) - (http://www.fernbankmuseum.org/calendar-of-events/martinis-imax-fright-night-2013/) - Enjoy live music, drinks, a costume contest, and movies at Martinis & IMAX Fright Night for adults at Fernbank Museum of Natural History.

16. Marys Hallo-Weenie Party(Oct. 17th, 24th, 30th, 31st)- (marysatlanta.com) For a good time on Halloween call “Marys” it’s a cool place to go. They make Halloween a big deal and have the most outlandish costumes at any club or bar I have ever seen. I always take my ass by there in October.

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17. Boo at the Zoo -(Weekends in Oct.)- (http://www.zooatlanta.org/home/article_content/boo_this_weekend#cY8Og) Atlanta’s favorite fun family Halloween festival returns

18.  The Phantom of the Opera - (October 22, 2014 – November 2, 2014) (http://www.foxtheatre.org)- at the Fox.

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19. Six Flags Horror Nights- (Sept. 27th – Nov. 2nd) – (https://www.sixflags.com/overgeorgia/special-events/festival/fright-fest) Go ride some rides while getting attacked by monsters!!!!

20. Rocky Horror Halloween Special Show- (Friday Oct. 31st) – (https://www.facebook.com/groups/2232166711/) ummmm It’s Rocky Horror but Halloween style! 

The Rocky Horror Picture Show with live cast! 10/31 – 9 pm show and Midnight and 11/1 — Saturday at midnight .

Special Prizes and Lips Down On Dixie performs live at all 3 shows . All tickets $15.00 Dress your best costume !

21. Halloween at Callanwolde- (Oct. 31st) - (http://callanwolde.org/event/halloween-night-callanwolde-mountain/) - Halloween Night on Callanwolde Mountain includes trick or treating, a family-friendly costume contest, a concert band playing spooky music, and food trucks.

22. Monster Bash- (Nov. 1st)- Come to the biggest Halloween party in Atlanta at  Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse - (www.atlantazombie.com). Dance Party, bands, and movies in a haunted attraction.

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23. Buried Alive Film Festival - (Nov. 26th and 27th) -(buriedalivefilmfest.com) Are you a local horror film maker? Well I am and I am always a part of the Buried Alive Film Festival. You should be too! It’s a blast to see all the horror that Atlanta has to offer.

 

Where to get makeup and costumes!

1. Norcostco Atlanta Costume - (https://www.facebook.com/norcostco.costume)

2. Costumes Etc. – (http://www.costumes-etc.com)

3. Eddie’s Trick Shop- (http://www.eddiestrickshop.com/)

4. Sprit Halloween- (http://www.spirithalloween.com)

5. Halloween Headquarters- (http://atlhalloweenhq.com)

 

What’s coming soon to a theater near you!

Sept. 5th The Green Inferno

Sept. 12th At the Devil’s Door

Sept. 19th The GuestTusk

Oct. 2nd ABCs of Death 2 (On demand)

Oct. 3rd Annabelle

Oct. 17th Dracula Untold

Oct. 24th Ouija

Oct. 31st Horns

 

What’s coming out on Blu Ray.

Sept. 2nd- Dracula (1979), Casper, Firestarter, Creature from Black Lagoon, Dracula (1931), The Mummy (1932), White Noise, The Invisible Man, Wolf Man, Phantom of the Opera

Sept. 9th- Prom Night, Pumpkin Head, Graduation Day, Addams Family- Movie, Flowers in the Attic

Sept. 16th - Godzilla, Ghostbusters 4k, From Dusk Til Dawn Season 1

Sept. 23rd -Halloween The Complete Collection, Exorcist Complete Anthology, Stage Fright

Oct. 7th - Bates Motel Season 2

Oct. 14th - Dracula: Season 1

Oct. 21st- Pumpkinhead 2, The Squad, Vincent Price Collection

Oct. 28th- Nightbreed, Squirm

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Me as Afro Demon

Now lets talk about what’s fun to watch in October.

1. Halloween (1978) - The best horror film of all time because John Carpenter is gold. I thanked him once for the joy he brought to my life.

2. The Fog (1980)- A John Carpenter classic, everything about this film is brilliant to me even the score. Scary, moody, spooky and tense.

3. Trick ‘r Treat- This film is incredible and should be a staple film to watch on Halloween. You will learn a lot about the Halloween season in this film. Do yourself a favor buy this film today. Do not rent it, buy it!

4. Halloween II (1981) - A sequel that made me scared BLEEPless of hospitals and was just as fun to watch as the first.

5. The House of the Devil- This throw back to the 80′s is gold and it’s quiet, moody, scary and satanic. Watch it and you will be spooked. The Director Ti West knows what he is doing.

6. The Return of the Living Dead- The best zombie movie ever made, and some of my favorite dialogue in film period. Amazing soundtrack too.

7. Hellraiser- Humans are the bad guys in this amazing horror love story. Watch it for the love or the gore.

8. The Conjuring- This haunted house movie is spooky as fuck. Check it out on a dark Halloween night.

9. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master- My favorite of the Freddy/ Nightmare films. The teens are BLEEPIN incredible in this film, and you will wish you could hang with Freddy when it’s over.

10. The Descent- This film made me jump twice. I don’t ever jump in movies. The plot is simple and brilliant and gave me a panic attack. Watch this film with all the lights off.

 

Here’s a list of kids Halloween movies:

1. The Halloween Tree - Learn about the season of Halloween in this kids adventure written by Ray Bradbury.

2. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown- Ummm its Charlie Brown.

3. The Fat Albert Halloween Special- I LOVE FAT ALBERT!

4. ParaNorman- A fun and relevant movie about being different, zombies, ghosts, and witches. It’s incredible.

5.. The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad- This film feels like Halloween.

6. Monster House- Kid creepy and fun.

7. Mad Monster Party?- Party with monsters that have the voices of Boris Karloff and Phyllis Diller.

 

How about some spooky scores to scare the neighbors with or to chill with:

1. “The Fog” music by John Carpenter- This music will scare any trick or treater.

2. “Poltergeist” music by Jerry Goldsmith- Carol Anne’s theme is the ultimate spooky jam. One of Jerry’s best scores.

3. “Amityville Horror” music by Lalo Schifrin- Horror music based on a true story. Count me in.

4. “Halloween” music by John Carpenter-  You can never go wrong with Carpenter cuts.

5. “A Nightmare on Elm Street” music by Charles Bernstein- When I was kid this score was playing in a line at Six Flags and scared the hell out of me. Shut up it was dark!

6. “The Grudge” music by Christopher Young- This is moody, creepy and eery.

7. “The Conjuring” music by Joseph Bishara- This shit is scary as fuck.

 

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Me as It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Bitch

“Guardians of the Galaxy” or “Firefly/ Star Wars/ A Fun Ride”- my fuckin review

Here is my review for “Guardians of the Galaxy“. Okay so I nothing about the comic book version of this film, or the characters. So I went in blind. The movie stars off with a little boy Peter Quill in the 80′s where his mother is dying of cancer and he is sad as shit. He runs outside and gets beamed up by aliens. Cut to years later and he is a grown up thief in space and stealing shit. He is still a good guy and is just trying to get paid and laid. He eventually he meets up with a raccoon named Rocket (Bradley Cooper), a talking tree named Groot (Vin Diesel) and a green girl named Gamora (Zoe Saldana) and then they all go to jail. Meanwhile this big bad space bitch called Thanos is after them. In space jail they met a prisoner named Drax (Dave Bautista) and they form the Guardians of the Galaxy. Now they are popping off and there are shoot outs, lasers, space battles, love, tears, and music. It’s action packed but in a fun smart ass way. Theses characters seem like real people, and people you would want to get turnt up with. The soundtrack is amazing and all the songs they chose were a perfect fit. This movie is over-the-top, but that is what makes it fun and exciting. It’s not sad ass gritty super heroes sitting around staring all day. It’s heroes who fuck up, laugh, cry and are witty as shit. The Director James Gunn did a great job with this film and I hope he does more of them. Honestly it was a fuckin blast to watch and I want to see it again. You should go out and see this shit in IMAX 3D. It’s worth it. I really do think it’s Marvel’s best movie and remember I knew nothing about this shit when I went in to see it. It was all fresh and fun. So if you love action, laughs, space battles, lasers, memorable characters, great mix tapes, Firefly, and Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope then go see this movie ASAP.

The Trailer:

The Facts:

A. James Gunn directed this film. He also directed  Slither and Super. He wrote Tromeo and JulietScooby-Doo- the movie,  Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed- the movie, and Dawn of the Dead- 2004.

B. The soundtrack was great (not to be confused with the score by Tyler Bates, that was a little generic and forgettable). The soundtrack was like another character in the film. It was that relevant.  The played all these jams loud and proud and not quietly in the background. You really heard them and they were part of the film and not just thrown in. Characters even talk about the mix tape and the music that is on it and even dance to it. I love the Awesome Mix Vol. 1. I hope there is a Vol. 2.

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You can buy it on iTunes.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/guardians-galaxy-awesome-mix/id895283652

C. Chris Pratt was Peter Quill in this movie and you will dig him on all levels. He is funny and goofy and everyone will fall in love with him. Girls, Guys, Gurlsss, Bros and even Lesbians.

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He dances too and any hero who finds time to dance is a good one.

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E. Rob Zombie plays the voice of the Ravager Navigator in the movie.

F. Rocket is the bomb and I want a stuffed animal version for my home. What makes this movie great is that there are weird over-the-top characters that are relatable, fun and who you would want to hang out with. Characters are the most important thing of any story ever! I would hang out with this raccoon any day. guardians-of-the-galaxy-rocket G. Groot only has one line that he says over and over again, but he had more character than 95% of the actors I have seen in all movies this year. Sorry Sandra Bullock, a talking wooden tree is more believable than you. I also think it is interesting that the movies with the most believable characters in 2014 are Guardians of the GalaxyDawn of the Planet of the Apes and The Lego Movie. I am being serious. The characters in all these movies seem more real and honest to me emotionally than any other film this fuckin year.

I also hope they sell a dancing toy version of this.tumblr_n9qp9fhXo81r0t68go2_250 guardians-of-the-galaxy-groot-13 H. Zoe Saldana was Gamora in this movie. She was okay but I need more character development for her. She was the only one that I didn’t feel sad for. Gamora should have also been played by Raven-Symoné. Real heroes will make you cry.

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You can never go wrong with Raven.

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I. Stay through the whole credits there is some crazy shit.

J. The poster is busy but I love lasers and the colors.

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This one is better.

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